anonchick

All I can do is go to meetings with my daddy--he's an alcoholic. I have no health insurance and work full time. My mom came home from a month stay in the hospital yesterday and I have to help take care of her. I'm the only income in the house.

I know I'm dependent on chemicals. I've fought Lortab addiction before. That is why my bf stayed with me all week last week to help me thru this. I went 5 days and had shakes and a headache, but felt better after the 2nd day (I think I posted that on that day).

I'm not claiming she should be extra forgiving at all. I just think her daddy said things about me to her that he shoudl not have. He should never have told her anything I was dealing with or did as she is a child. As for my statement that my daddy picked up my daughter and my son helped me, yes, that is true and it's the first time that crap ever happened. I've NEVER forgotten my child! that's what feels so bad.

Anyway, I want to get better before I get too far gone and do worse damage, if that makes sense

anonchick

I think one thing that hurts badly to do is gonna be tell Chris I can't see him anymore if he continues to drink around me. I know that i have to change my environment, habits and who I'm around.

Freedom1990

I know that hurts, but you're worth a life of recovery!

I had to walk away from my EXAH in order to protect myself, and even though it did hurt like hell, it was the best thing I ever did.

Anna

I agree Anonchick, that facing reality and dealing with things we've been hiding from, is really hard.

Keep focusing on your recovery.

Tazman53

Good deal, glad to hear you are taking some steps forward in dealing with this. The crazy thing is that some of the toughest most painful things to do in the long run seem to be the very thing that helps the most.

When I first came home from detox my wife was still in the process of leaving me and taking the kids with her, and I told her that I did not want her to leave, that things were going to be different and that my sobriety had to come above all else whether her and the kids stayed or left. Well she did stay, but reluctantly at first, I had spent to many years making promises I never could keep.

In early sobriety I would suggest focusing on you, you have control over you and you alone. Just accept that you have no control over any one else and do not worry about it, the only thing you can do that MAY result in people changing how they feel about you is by staying sober and becoming the best you, you can be. If folks do not like the new you, does it really matter as long as you like the new you?

anonchick

I know. My daddy told me to put it behind me and live one day at a time. One hour. I can't change the past, but I can make a better now and future.

gerryP

Changing who you choose to be around is a good idea Anonchick.

You mentioned that your bf stayed with you all last week to help you with Lortab withdrawl, yet he left a 6 pack in your room.

Grrrrr8 support.

anonchick

gerry~~No, you misunderstood. The Lortabs were over 5 years ago. Chris was staying with me to help alcohol withdrawals and left the six pack

By the way, I called my doc and explained my financial and insurance issues. She phoned out some Klonopin and said not to be alone and first sign of anything worse than shakes, call 911. Mom sleeps in the room with me so I'll be fine. I feel better already.