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I know I proclaimed to everyone that I had completely finished with alcohol.
I would like to oppologise to all of you if my first post sounded good, or gave anyone hope. The truth seems to be that I'm not ready to kick the habit completely. I don't truly want to stop drinking, and I'd like to make that clear. I had also asked questions about how other people's spouses, and how their drinking affected the recovery of the one who chose to quit. Well I now realise the answer to this- if it was a true choice, the spouses decisions didn't matter.

I have however realised that I don't like to get DRUNK... and by drunk I mean absoulutely out of my tree, and blackouts, emmbarrassments, etc. Recently I have been attending therapy with my partner, and sorting out deep rooted problems with my relationship to my parents. I have to say that I enjoy life far more sober... but I cannot control those few drinks that I have time to time. Say today, I met with someone whom I spoke to in a bar a while back, in the bar (I was drinking coffee) and he offered the chance for me to go skydiving. Needless to say I took it... and I'm meeting him in the bar on thursday, to meet the head guy of the skydiving course. I know I don't have to defend myself to you guys, but I would like to say, I chose a coffee over a beer. Anyway, the real thing that I'm trying to get across is, I'm not ready, yet. But I KNOW FULLY the advantages of a sober life...

There is a part of me that wants to drink socially, but then there is the demon that when I am alone, that want's to go well over the top reguardless. I don't know weather this is due to coming from a wealthy family and feeling like I have no responsibilities, or that I generally am out of control.

I value my partner and the husky I shall be adopting soon far more than the urge to drink. I know I may be sounding like I cry wolf, but I'm surely not, I enjoy sober time much more than the times when I go OTT.

Just this saturday, we went to a friends house, and the next day I just felt stupid, like, WHY THE HELL did we all have to drink that much...

I'm sorry if I offended anyone (I must have) but I just get psycohogical and phylisophical sometimes and I know you guys are here to point me in the right direction.


Sorry too if that sounds selfish.....


Anyway, thanks for even reading this, as you didn't have to,

Rock on guys.

Any response is hugely appreciated.


Origy...


:ghug2

PS- just thought a good tune wouldnt hurt....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1zsRRt1FWE
Ok thanks guys...
I ain't perfect, and thankyou again to all of you.

One day I would really like to count some more days, I'm too weak right now...