Coolmummy

Oh Judy, please don't think I was being anti aa - I wasn't at all! I'm ok not going at the moment, but if i ever feel i want to, then I will.

I hope I didn't offend.

xx

katie89

I think imagine waking up every day and want to be a part of it,to know exactly what you did the night before. I have everything to look forward to now plus no more shakes !!No embarrassment or stress. Good way to live your life.Be proud of yourself and you should continue to be every second of sobriety it gets better with age too

Angelic17

CoolMummy, Maybe if you just go and hang out, and don't say anything, that ought to shut them up. If someone offers you a drink, just say no thank you. Or if someone offers you a cigarette, a simple no thanks will do. I wouldn't say a word to anyone, that I have quit smoking and drinking. Most people will be jealous, because they don't have the kind of strength it takes to give up those two very addictive habits. I very recently lost a friend of 25 years, due to the fact that I don't smoke weed or use any drugs or alcohol. Instead of explaining myself, I just chose not to go and hang out with the people who do use. It pissed them off, and I got told off. I could care less, and I take it where it's coming from. My 78 year old aunt told me that friend was totally jealous, cause he was messed up from drugs and alcohol. And I am clean as a whistle. He told others that I sound like a drug counselor. LOL. I never even said anything to him, except that I wasn't interested in getting high at that time. Just be happy that your husband loves and supports you. His opinion is one of the only ones that matters. God Bless you for achieving what you set out to do. Be proud of yourself. I am proud of you.

SelfSeeking

Just thought I'd point out- your friends are talking at you about your not drinking _now_, like every time you hang out I had to cut the heavy drinkers out of my life for my own sanity... I've continued to hang out with people who are not heavy drinkers, in mainly non-drinking settings, and it just doesn't come up. It's just not fun for me to hang out in bars anymore. The last time I went in one was because I HAD TO HAVE BUFFALO WINGS. *grin*

gravity

Well, when I was still drinking I used to think that non-drinkers were weak (couldn't handle it) or boring (how can anyone NOT want to get drunk?). If a sober person was hanging around with us, I would tease and often try to get that person to drink. But really, it didn't matter as long as I had my beer and my whiskey.

Today, I don't hang around people who are getting drunk. I just can't relate to someone when they are hammered. I understand where they are coming from (a big party in their mind) but I'm in a different place.

I still see my old drinking buddies but I think that they now know that I am serious about my sobriety. They don't bug me or invite me when they are going out to get drunk. It's all good.

I guess what I'm saying is don't expect others to change because you have. I had to make lifestyle changes (sobriety is my priority) & today my outlook on life is different. I still love my old friends, wish them the best, and, like you, I don't look down on them for what they are doing.

flutter

Not meaning to hijack... but I have been craving some good hotwings like nobody's business lately! I realized that sleazy dark bars often have the best kind. I finally found more of a restaurant/bar that has them, and I plan to get stuffed on em today

Mattcake

Good for you, CoolMummy How about plain ignoring their editorial comments and questions? The more information you feed them, the more they'll badger you. Just draw a line.

I can't quite say I relate, as my friends are mostly non-drinkers. However, I've been going through a period of much needed isolation, and I've been forced to ask people to stop pestering me about it. It may not be necessary to change friends, though finding supportive ones can't hurt. But without being arrogant, maybe you could just let them know that you're no longer willing to justify your decision. Set healthy boundaries and stick to them. Ultimately, it's your call

mikefreak

Congrats, cool mum!! If I were you I wouldn't be hanging around drinking people right now. It's too soon. I've read that in the U.K.,pubs are for the entire family. Still, I would feel weird having an lemonade around a bunch of drinkers at YOUR point in time. Just my two cents......

Coolmummy

I have spent a lot of evenings in on my own - with my family - and feel ok about sitting in a pub garden with the kids etc now. I guess it's been me a bit, because when i gave up drinking I did pretty much tell most people, but mainly so they knew not to buy me drinks or brings bottles round. Hopefully, now I am 'getting out' a bit more, things will be easier, and yes, i won't 'justify' it, or even mention it! It is a definite jealousy thing with some people I know - one friend even said 'I do think you look so incredibly well, but even that isn't enough to stop me drinking - not that i couldn't if I wanted to...' hahaha that did make me laugh!

Thanks for all your support.

xx

jamdls

When I was drinking I was uncomfortable around non-drinkers because I thought they would be judging me; now that I don't drink I'm not comfortable around drinkers because I am judging them because I think alcohol makes people act stupid.