LauraS

I have been sober now for close to two weeks. These past two weeks have been so incredibly busy that I have had little time to get to meetings, get here, work the program, and, fortunately, I've also been too busy to think so much about drinking or not drinking.

Tomorrow we are having a big birthday party here-- it was planned before I decided to get sober and there will be a mix of drinkers and abstainers visiting, so there will be plenty of beer and wine, and also lots of soft drinks and sparkling water. I have been feeling pretty strong, but tonight I really want to drink. I can feel the old head games starting up again.

I'm not going to drink tonight and I am going to make darned sure I don't drink tomorrow, either. I just want you all to know that I expect it to be difficult.

Fubarcdn

That first social occassion is a big test .
Be strong and the next one will be a little easier.
Just hang with the non drinkers and who knows you may get to know a different group a little better.
Good luck.

acehood629

This will be a huge test for you, stay strong and believe in yourself. Let some of the non drinkers know what you are going through, and they can encourage and support you in your choice not to drink.

Have fun and enjoy the simple things at the party. try focusing on things you would never notice when you drank. Have faith in yourself....You can do it!


One day at a time.

butchville

i have cancelled my camping trip because there will be drinkers all around me and i am not ready yet to face up and go into a pub surrounded by drink..my motto is dont push yourself ,,you will be ready when you are ready

TigerLili

Good luck Laura. Have a plan of action in case you feel tempted. I keep my cell handy and let a few AA friends know I might need to call or text during the night. Someone has ALWAYS stayed available for me.

CarolD

hmm...
In early recovery.....
I found an AA group that met at 7 a.m.
so I attended before work.
I also went to 2 or 3 a day on my days off.

Worked quite well for me...

Good to know you are still sober
...It's the best thing to do!

Anna

I couldn't have done that in early sobriety.

I tried once, going to a neighborhood party. I didn't drink that evening, but I was so frustrated and anxious, I had a miserable time. And, the next day, I went out and bought some wine.

Early sobriety is hard, and I hope you enjoy your party.

LauraS

Well I cannot cancel this party because it is my own birthday we are celebrating, nor can I decide not to attend for that same reason-- and also, it is here in our home.

However, I do plan to attend an AA meeting this morning beforehand and am feeling a bit stronger this morning. I know that if I pick up tonight it will just put me back on the road toward another eventual alcohol meltdown. I have had enough of those.

Many of the non-drinkers are also recovering alcoholics (I have always surrounded myself with alkies, it seems) so if I hang with those people I will be feeling a bit of reinforcement. And I will also keep my sponsor on speeddial!

nickishine

Keep us informed! We are here for YOU!9 Have a WONDERFUL birthday!

LauraS

Hi Carol,

I went to three meetings last weekend, plus two online. If I had to get up to be anywhere at 7:00 am I would crumble. I am one of those people who needs a lot of sleep or else I become non-functional from migraine, and it's been a challenge to fit in all the things I've had to do and also get enough rest to feel well. And guess what? When I am tired and stressed and not feeling well is when I want to drink the most, because that's when I stop caring.

Balance is going to have to be key here if I'm going to do this; pushing myself to go to a lot of meetings when I'm already stressed from being too busy would not be good for me or my sobriety. I do respect that this is what works for many, but we are all different in terms of our physical needs.

kelsh

Hi Laura,

I had to attend work retreats which was usually work most of the day on a project or seminar type stuff then play the rest of the day into the late evening...this was my third year of Sobriety. There was all kinds of beer & hard liquor + wine coolers that I had never tasted.

I still felt like I was going to be in a slippery place so took my own ice chest with the makings for Lates', some candy to eat when I went to bed & diet pop. I always had something in my hand that was liquid but not with alcohol. :ghug2

I had my own tent & just went to bed when I was tired of watching the drinking...no one really got "drunk" on these retreats. I do remember one that was held at a fancy lodge & everyone that drank got plastered....again I went to bed early...mostly because I did not want to watch the drunks my co-workers had become.

There were three of us not drinking and you could certainly tell who had the hangovers the next morning. I did most of my drinking all through my life at home so the bars & lounges did not tempt me.

Remember HALT... Don't let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired...take a break away from all the confusion once in a while.

kelsh

LauraS

Okay, well, I went to my meeting and was going to talk about how I am feeling today and they did not call on me-- second time this has happened in a row, and today I really needed to talk so I was a bit unhappy leaving. I am feeling pretty crappy right now-- I went outside and got attacked by mosquitoes that were not there yesterday. So I ran out to get some citronella candles-- got these candles in nice decorative containers but the labels on the containers won't come off. I can't put them out there for the party like that, 'cause they look really tacky. So it's either tacky or mosquitoes. GRRRRRR I am not doing well at the moment. The dog is whining in his crate because all the doors are open. I just screamed at him.

Three weeks ago I would have been three sheets by now. Fudge.

least

I'd say to hell with 'tacky' put out the candles to keep the skeeters away! I hope you can enjoy yourself and not feel too stressed. (and go easy on your dog, when humans fail you the dog is your best friend) I wish you well and Happy Birthday!:day6

foglift

I remember my first social event just after I became sober. I was so anxious and over thinking things. As it turned out I enjoyed it much more then I did when I was using. Ive become stronger because I faced my fear. It's amazing how our addict mind tries to trip us up in life.

Mark75

Hi LauraS

I was newly sober when we had a christmas party, planned before my rehab.... Only social drinkers, but there was a case of my favorite beer, some wine and martinis around. Honestly, it sucked. It sucked because I was still doing the self pity thing, "I can't have fun like the others....". Also, though, I was still hangin' on to some shame... No one there knew about my "intervention", etc... but I did and I felt like an outsider in my own home.... I didn't drink. I did find a last minute "errand" I had to run, though.

I don't know.... I could do it now, mostly 'cause the shame has lifted, but I might still feel that self pity.

I am not saying this to make you feel worse about tomorrow, promise. I am hoping that you will get in touch with exactly what you are going to feel... put a name on it, identify the feeling.... maybe then you can use your tools, those you've gathered in your lifetime, and hopefully some of what you've picked up here and at AA.

Good luck!! Let us know how it went...

Mark

LauraS

I made it! Honestly, it wasn't too hard.

I wanted to drink far more before the party than I did once the party started going. I remember the same thing happened at my wedding where I was so involved with the guests that I had maybe two drinks all night. That is so unlike me to drink so little, but I was so busy being a good hostess that I just didn't really have the time to drink much.

I only had a few times when I thought I'd really like to have a beer or glass of wine but I was able to remind myself that I'm just not doing that anymore.

It was funny, because one of our friends got fairly drunk and started getting loud-- I looked at my husband and said, "gosh, drunk people are funny when you're not drinking." He thought that was amusing. He also said, after it was all over, that he was proud of me. Heck, I'm proud of me. I'm proud of him, too, for being so kind.

It was a great party, and I'm blessed to have such great friends and family. And I'm very happy to have it behind me now

CarolD

Glad you enjoyed your party......

grateful2b

Yay Laura!....I am glad that it turned out so well and you enjoyed yourself..
and Happy Birthday!!
:day1

IO Storm

Yay for you, Laura! :ghug3:

And