some advice please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
some advice please
Hi all
I have a decision to make. I leave my job tomorrow in Barcelona and will be moving on the 15th May. The 2 choices i have is to go into another job somewhere in Europe or take some time off. My thoughts on the time off is that i can move back down to Southern Spain, relax and work on myself whilst attending the AA meetings in English they have very close to where i will be based. I have people that love me down there too so i won't be so isolated.
The other option is to take another job, there is one in Holland for a massive company that i could get and it is an amazing opportunity but it will mean going to work everyday (usually i talk companies into letting me work from home) in a professional enviroment managing a team of 5. My concern with this is that i have relapsed for the last 4 weeks and i am worried that i will be repeating the same thing i have done in the last 6 months by going to the job, being ok for a while, getting bored of the job and ******* it all up again and i will be back on SR in a year in the same position financially and worse off for the drink.
My question is, is it my drunk brain telling me to take time off or is it a positive move, sounds like a daft question but i am learning to question every single thing my dumbass brain tells me! The argument is that i might have too much time on my hands as my friend says but i so could do with taking time out and looking at my life sober and making a damn decision in what the hell it is i want to do and why i am working instead of making loads of cash, drinking and spending it all at the damn casino without ever moving forward.
Long post but would really appreciate some opinions, it is obviously very important to me...i just feel the time out would be good providing i take my antabuse to stop me from having the option to drink and working on myself...i know the alcohol is huge problem to me being an alcoholic and i also know i have to change my stinking attitude towards life or else i will end up coming back to it again and again...i really have a very bad attitude, i know i have more opportunities than most, it would just be nice to not **** them away and feel so much shame all the time!
Don't get the wrong impression i'm not loaded, if i take the time off option i will have to sell my car and budget carefully!
cheers
cliff
ps my drunk brain is telling me right now that i don't need the antabuse and i can do AA without it on my own willpower, well im not listening to that crap and im shoving the pill down my throat on saturday morning once the booze is out of my system...unbelievable...
I have a decision to make. I leave my job tomorrow in Barcelona and will be moving on the 15th May. The 2 choices i have is to go into another job somewhere in Europe or take some time off. My thoughts on the time off is that i can move back down to Southern Spain, relax and work on myself whilst attending the AA meetings in English they have very close to where i will be based. I have people that love me down there too so i won't be so isolated.
The other option is to take another job, there is one in Holland for a massive company that i could get and it is an amazing opportunity but it will mean going to work everyday (usually i talk companies into letting me work from home) in a professional enviroment managing a team of 5. My concern with this is that i have relapsed for the last 4 weeks and i am worried that i will be repeating the same thing i have done in the last 6 months by going to the job, being ok for a while, getting bored of the job and ******* it all up again and i will be back on SR in a year in the same position financially and worse off for the drink.
My question is, is it my drunk brain telling me to take time off or is it a positive move, sounds like a daft question but i am learning to question every single thing my dumbass brain tells me! The argument is that i might have too much time on my hands as my friend says but i so could do with taking time out and looking at my life sober and making a damn decision in what the hell it is i want to do and why i am working instead of making loads of cash, drinking and spending it all at the damn casino without ever moving forward.
Long post but would really appreciate some opinions, it is obviously very important to me...i just feel the time out would be good providing i take my antabuse to stop me from having the option to drink and working on myself...i know the alcohol is huge problem to me being an alcoholic and i also know i have to change my stinking attitude towards life or else i will end up coming back to it again and again...i really have a very bad attitude, i know i have more opportunities than most, it would just be nice to not **** them away and feel so much shame all the time!
Don't get the wrong impression i'm not loaded, if i take the time off option i will have to sell my car and budget carefully!
cheers
cliff
ps my drunk brain is telling me right now that i don't need the antabuse and i can do AA without it on my own willpower, well im not listening to that crap and im shoving the pill down my throat on saturday morning once the booze is out of my system...unbelievable...
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Maybe the new opportunity in Holland will be the extra push you need to stay on track! You've done it before.. I bet you can find it in you not to slip out again, if you put in the work. Good luck with what you decide.. I know I would go whacky with a bunch of time off.. I certainly haven't had a good history of making the most of the limited free time I've had in the past, for me.. the busier the better! GL!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
Hi,
It sounds to me like you're leaning towards the time off. I agree with you that time off, and taking time to look at yourself and your life, could be a good thing. For me, I would like to have some structure to my life, so I might look at doing some kind of volunteer work or something like that. Keeping a daily journal of your thoughts and your journey could also be a good idea. And, when you are finished with your time off, what will your job prospects look like? Hopefully it will be easy for you to move into another job at that point.
It sounds to me like you're leaning towards the time off. I agree with you that time off, and taking time to look at yourself and your life, could be a good thing. For me, I would like to have some structure to my life, so I might look at doing some kind of volunteer work or something like that. Keeping a daily journal of your thoughts and your journey could also be a good idea. And, when you are finished with your time off, what will your job prospects look like? Hopefully it will be easy for you to move into another job at that point.
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
I have been unemployed since before coming into sobriety. I have used this time to really work on my program, 2+ f2f mtgs per day. I believe that this time has really helped me stay sober and bank lots of meetings. Yes I could really use a job and the money but nothing out there right now. I have been looking but rather than get upset, I believe that my HP is looking out for me and really wants me to work on myself first.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,151
I think both are potential risks. Both have pros and cons. Going to Holland - do you know anyone there outside of the Business sector? You say you usually prefer to work from home - so it's possible you could drink during the day as well if you wanted/needed to. But managing a team of five? That sounds quite stressful if you've not been used to it.
Staying in southern Spain could be stressful if you have to compromise financially. If you do find yourself relapsing, what structure and support have you got?
Whatever you decide, and only you can, if you really want to stop drinking, that has to be the number one priority. Have you considered rehab?
When I was drinking alcoholically, I'd drink cos it was sunny or raining, any excuse. But also with life changes and stress. And these are big changes here. Do you have a sponsor you could discuss this with?
Good Luck .
Staying in southern Spain could be stressful if you have to compromise financially. If you do find yourself relapsing, what structure and support have you got?
Whatever you decide, and only you can, if you really want to stop drinking, that has to be the number one priority. Have you considered rehab?
When I was drinking alcoholically, I'd drink cos it was sunny or raining, any excuse. But also with life changes and stress. And these are big changes here. Do you have a sponsor you could discuss this with?
Good Luck .
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Frankly I believe that after living in Spain you're not going to like Holland. Unless of course you didn't like Spain and prefer rainier, cloudier, winter darker, climates. You are British so maybe you can accustom yourself, I need lot's of sunshine, it definitely helps me stay sober ! Can you find another job in Spain once you've had a bit of time off? Spain seems to be really hit by the economic crisis.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
What I have been looking at lately, is that there is not really a wrong choice....each choice just has different karma attached...(concequences, etc.) that I will have to deal with.
I, like Anna, would need to have some sort of scheduled activities to keep to as i don't do well left to my own devisses too long, but boy would i like to have some time to work on my self and recovery more....
Just remember that what ever decision you make, you will have to deal with the impact and you know yourself best...I understand the not trusting certain aspects of ourselves that have drug us down before, but try to deciern which voice is speaking to you the healthy one or the sick one...and listen to the healthy one....It's your life to make of what you will
good luck (hug)
I, like Anna, would need to have some sort of scheduled activities to keep to as i don't do well left to my own devisses too long, but boy would i like to have some time to work on my self and recovery more....
Just remember that what ever decision you make, you will have to deal with the impact and you know yourself best...I understand the not trusting certain aspects of ourselves that have drug us down before, but try to deciern which voice is speaking to you the healthy one or the sick one...and listen to the healthy one....It's your life to make of what you will
good luck (hug)
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