I relapsed
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Kat it happens, beating your self up serves no purpose, just learn from it and start taking some actions.
1. When you have one drink do you know exactly how many you are going to have after it?
2. When you are drinking do you manage your life well?
Very basic straight forward step one questions. Ask a lady to be your temporary sponsor and answer those questions.
The program is a VERY simple program for very complex people. I will tell you what my sponsor told me "Martin, stop reading between the lines, stop over analyzing things and making simple things hard, just read what it says and accept that, that is all it says and no more!!!!"
He was right, once I quit trying to analyze everything and just took it at face value it was simple, I was the one making the simple hard if not impossible.
Remember that AA does not shoot thier wounded, we welcome them back with open arms.
I've been going to AA meetings and reading the steps, but I'm stuck on the first step.
2. When you are drinking do you manage your life well?
Very basic straight forward step one questions. Ask a lady to be your temporary sponsor and answer those questions.
The program is a VERY simple program for very complex people. I will tell you what my sponsor told me "Martin, stop reading between the lines, stop over analyzing things and making simple things hard, just read what it says and accept that, that is all it says and no more!!!!"
He was right, once I quit trying to analyze everything and just took it at face value it was simple, I was the one making the simple hard if not impossible.
Remember that AA does not shoot thier wounded, we welcome them back with open arms.
A new dawn and new chapter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
Must be something in the air. I recently fell off the wagon after 4 months sober. It was already gnawing at me for these past 2 weeks and then I just had to see a ex girlfriend of mine, that's never a good scene. There's usually a good reason for why they are your ex.
But seriously after the beating your self up moment is over there's nothing you can do about. Just climb back up on that horse and try again.
But seriously after the beating your self up moment is over there's nothing you can do about. Just climb back up on that horse and try again.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Remember that AA does not shoot thier wounded, we welcome them back with open arms.
Taz is so right!
And if (anyone) tells you anything different..they can take a hike.
An old timer told me this once after a relapse..it is not original. lol
Still with you, Kat.
I will say..I did go through a lot of unecessary questions and confusion until I
took a deep breath and asked someone to be my sponsor. I didn't regret it.
But the ultimate priority is to stay sober...hit your meetings.
And hang with us.
Taz is so right!
And if (anyone) tells you anything different..they can take a hike.
An old timer told me this once after a relapse..it is not original. lol
Still with you, Kat.
I will say..I did go through a lot of unecessary questions and confusion until I
took a deep breath and asked someone to be my sponsor. I didn't regret it.
But the ultimate priority is to stay sober...hit your meetings.
And hang with us.
Adjusting my Sails
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by Kat67 
I feel horrible because I relapsed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 96
Just got back from a meeting and everyone was so welcoming, it was hard not to cry.
I feel lost again but I do want recovery. I relapsed with my ex boyfriend. Supposedly he wants to get sober too. I know I can't help him and he can't help me. I just missed him and wanted to share how good it is to be sober, but instead I came to him with beer. When I got to his house that day was going to be a day when he decided to not drink(and if I knew that before hand I never would have showed up
..) but because I brought beer we drank instead. We didn't drink yesterday, we bought food talked about getting sober and watched a movie.
I'm struggling with three addictions. Alcoholism, Sex Addiction, and Co-dependency.
I don't know truly what hes dealing with but it kills me to think that we can't do it together.
I have my home group tonight and I'm contemplating if he should come with me or not, and my heart says no I guess.
I feel lost again but I do want recovery. I relapsed with my ex boyfriend. Supposedly he wants to get sober too. I know I can't help him and he can't help me. I just missed him and wanted to share how good it is to be sober, but instead I came to him with beer. When I got to his house that day was going to be a day when he decided to not drink(and if I knew that before hand I never would have showed up
..) but because I brought beer we drank instead. We didn't drink yesterday, we bought food talked about getting sober and watched a movie. I'm struggling with three addictions. Alcoholism, Sex Addiction, and Co-dependency.
I don't know truly what hes dealing with but it kills me to think that we can't do it together.
I have my home group tonight and I'm contemplating if he should come with me or not, and my heart says no I guess.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,506
Hi Kat,
Your heart says 'no' - Follow your heart, always follow your heart.
Kat, I hope that your boyfriend decides to get sober. But, hoping that you two can get sober together, is a scary thought to me. What happens if you're doing well and he relapses or vice versa. It would be a double load to carry, and god knows, getting sober is hard enough as it is. I think it would be great if you two support each other through your early recovery, but you need to focus on yourself.
Your heart says 'no' - Follow your heart, always follow your heart.
Kat, I hope that your boyfriend decides to get sober. But, hoping that you two can get sober together, is a scary thought to me. What happens if you're doing well and he relapses or vice versa. It would be a double load to carry, and god knows, getting sober is hard enough as it is. I think it would be great if you two support each other through your early recovery, but you need to focus on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kat)))
I agree with Anna. Since I'm such a codie (but working on it), if things went wrong in the relationship, I always wanted to numb myself...so did the bf. What if neither of us was strong enough to say "no"? It didn't even have to be anything big..just a disagreement, and I would FEEL like it was something big.
This is just my experience, but I had to work on my addiction AND my codie-ness, together, and I couldn't do it AND be in the relationship at the same time. I had to step back and find me. As long as I was still in the relationship, I was too focused on him. Again, this is just me.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I agree with Anna. Since I'm such a codie (but working on it), if things went wrong in the relationship, I always wanted to numb myself...so did the bf. What if neither of us was strong enough to say "no"? It didn't even have to be anything big..just a disagreement, and I would FEEL like it was something big.
This is just my experience, but I had to work on my addiction AND my codie-ness, together, and I couldn't do it AND be in the relationship at the same time. I had to step back and find me. As long as I was still in the relationship, I was too focused on him. Again, this is just me.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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