Anyone feel like their drinking is an obsession/compulsion thing?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 42
Anyone feel like their drinking is an obsession/compulsion thing?
Another thread got me thinking about this.
I'm very new here at SR so for those that don't know me yet I am (WAS!) a binge drinker - every 4-6 weeks on average for a few days straight at a time. I do not crave it otherwise, and drink nothing or very little in between binges.
I've been trying to understand why I continue to do this to myself. I don't have a daily physical dependency, so I cannot point to that as a reason to continue the behavior. In fact, I clean up for weeks at a time, and begin to feel great again physically. And I don't have any triggers I can point to either. It's not a conscious response to something in my life so much as it is a mental battle when I get an "urge".
The best way I can describe it is that the thought starts to creep into my mind that I want to drink. I always know it is going to be a binge when my mind goes to this place. I don't entertain the thought of "just a few" - I know I am drinking to oblivion. Sort of a vacation from my mind, although I can't seem to link it to being particularly stressed. Sometimes it's when things are bad, and other times it's when things are good. But it is a very deliberate and selfish act on my part... everytime.
I basically fight this urge for days and the only thing that seems to relieve it is the binge, as it builds and builds. I have never successfully beat it without indulging in the binge. And this time I want to, and I know it's coming in the next couple weeks.
Anyway, I've started to recognize it as sort of an obsession that only gets better when I act on it. And I'm wondering if anyone else drinks this way, and what you have done to get rid of the obsessions without acting on them? My plan now is to tell my husband that I'm having these thoughts (which I've never done before), to post on SR and to try to up my meditation and exercise and slow down my stress.
All advice and wisdom welcome, as I am new and still learning. Thanks for reading!
Jayne
I'm very new here at SR so for those that don't know me yet I am (WAS!) a binge drinker - every 4-6 weeks on average for a few days straight at a time. I do not crave it otherwise, and drink nothing or very little in between binges.
I've been trying to understand why I continue to do this to myself. I don't have a daily physical dependency, so I cannot point to that as a reason to continue the behavior. In fact, I clean up for weeks at a time, and begin to feel great again physically. And I don't have any triggers I can point to either. It's not a conscious response to something in my life so much as it is a mental battle when I get an "urge".
The best way I can describe it is that the thought starts to creep into my mind that I want to drink. I always know it is going to be a binge when my mind goes to this place. I don't entertain the thought of "just a few" - I know I am drinking to oblivion. Sort of a vacation from my mind, although I can't seem to link it to being particularly stressed. Sometimes it's when things are bad, and other times it's when things are good. But it is a very deliberate and selfish act on my part... everytime.
I basically fight this urge for days and the only thing that seems to relieve it is the binge, as it builds and builds. I have never successfully beat it without indulging in the binge. And this time I want to, and I know it's coming in the next couple weeks.
Anyway, I've started to recognize it as sort of an obsession that only gets better when I act on it. And I'm wondering if anyone else drinks this way, and what you have done to get rid of the obsessions without acting on them? My plan now is to tell my husband that I'm having these thoughts (which I've never done before), to post on SR and to try to up my meditation and exercise and slow down my stress.
All advice and wisdom welcome, as I am new and still learning. Thanks for reading!
Jayne
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi Jayne,
Yes, I think addiction is the obsession of the mind and the compulsion of the body. It was like that for me too. Once the seed was planted, I felt like I had to follow it through to get relief. But, what I found in retrospect is, that doing that fueled the addiction, most definitely. It was not giving in to the obsession/compulsion that took away its power. By denying it, it lost its strength.
Good for you for recognizing the pattern and beginning to deal with it.
Yes, I think addiction is the obsession of the mind and the compulsion of the body. It was like that for me too. Once the seed was planted, I felt like I had to follow it through to get relief. But, what I found in retrospect is, that doing that fueled the addiction, most definitely. It was not giving in to the obsession/compulsion that took away its power. By denying it, it lost its strength.
Good for you for recognizing the pattern and beginning to deal with it.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Fizzy! I agree with that!
Jayne, I do think it is an obsession. Sometimes I really didn't even want to drink, but I just did.
I think you have an excellent plan as to how to attack the next binge. Excellent.
Also know this.....it will progress. The binges will come closer and closer.
Kick it NOW.
Jayne, I do think it is an obsession. Sometimes I really didn't even want to drink, but I just did.
I think you have an excellent plan as to how to attack the next binge. Excellent.
Also know this.....it will progress. The binges will come closer and closer.
Kick it NOW.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Back when, I drank it was my life style. Weekend warrior drinker until, my weekends stopped an started at Wed. at the last of my drinking.
My thought process was skewed to thinking of a drink for every reason under the sun
My thought process was skewed to thinking of a drink for every reason under the sun
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Before I became physically addicted to alcohol it was a mental obsession that led to that first drink, then it became a physical/mental obsession for more once I had that first drink, it took me a long time to figure out that it was the first drink that got me drunk and not the 5th or 10th drink.
I found a solution to my obsession, for years the solution to all in my life was alcohol & I would be lying if I said there were not times I did not enjoy drinking, but the drinking never resolved a single thing long term, it just moved things to the back burner.
I could not stay stopped drinking until I found another solution, one other then alcohol. The neat thing with my new solution is that it has given me long term solutions to problems of mine, in some cases permanent solutions. One other thing this solution has done for me is to lift the obsession to drink from me.
I found a solution to my obsession, for years the solution to all in my life was alcohol & I would be lying if I said there were not times I did not enjoy drinking, but the drinking never resolved a single thing long term, it just moved things to the back burner.
I could not stay stopped drinking until I found another solution, one other then alcohol. The neat thing with my new solution is that it has given me long term solutions to problems of mine, in some cases permanent solutions. One other thing this solution has done for me is to lift the obsession to drink from me.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
No....I was not a binge drinker ..but perhaps this article
will have information of interest
How We Get Addicted - TIME
My active alcoholism certainly did lead me into
mental obcession as well as physical cravings.
I found abstinance was my only way out .
God did take away my obcession in a dramatic fashion.
I had been sober about 3 years ...using AA.
I consider myself to be another AA miracle....
Hope you can find your way....Recovery Rocks!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 42
Thank you for all your thoughtful responses. I can relate to the feeling of knowing that drinking is a terrible idea, or not really wanting to intellectually, but just going ahead and doing it anyway. And yes, the time periods between could definitely get shorter and shorter. I was a daily drinker in the past, although not experiencing physical addiction yet at that time, and then the sudden switch to binges. I'd be naive to believe that another sudden switch - maybe to DAILY binging - isn't imminent. Thank you for the reminder of that.
Carol - that article was awesome! The 90 day benchmark has really inspired me. I can't remember the last time I made 90 days but now I'm very motivated to at least make it there to see if the re-wiring of the brain will hold true for me. Just the extra push I needed.
Also this quote jumped out:
The question now is how to "shout down" the urge.
Jayne
Carol - that article was awesome! The 90 day benchmark has really inspired me. I can't remember the last time I made 90 days but now I'm very motivated to at least make it there to see if the re-wiring of the brain will hold true for me. Just the extra push I needed.
Also this quote jumped out:
Scientists say extinguishing urges is not a matter of getting the feelings to fade but of helping the addict learn a new form of conditioning, one that allows the brain's cognitive power to shout down the amygdala and other lower regions. "What has to happen for that cue to extinguish is not for the amygdala to become weaker but for the frontal cortex to become stronger," says Vocci.
And it's certainly echoed in your responses above. I may not ever get rid of the urge, but I need to find new ways to cope. And the higher brain functions can definitely give the lower instinctual stuff a run for their money. I think I (falsely) believe that I should be able to get rid of the urges, and that they are a character defect.The question now is how to "shout down" the urge.
Jayne
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Depending on your dependancy, the urge will leave after it's no longer your life style.
Takes a lot to motivate yourself to make the dramatic changes needed to quit.
Distancing yourselves from the fair weathered friends that, when you mention you stopped drinking will either try to get you to have one or, avoid you like a leper.
Having a plan for stressful days in your life, someone close to you for moral support.
Just keeping your mind busy away from the thought of drinking until, you plop your head on your pillow at the end of the day.
Takes a lot to motivate yourself to make the dramatic changes needed to quit.
Distancing yourselves from the fair weathered friends that, when you mention you stopped drinking will either try to get you to have one or, avoid you like a leper.
Having a plan for stressful days in your life, someone close to you for moral support.
Just keeping your mind busy away from the thought of drinking until, you plop your head on your pillow at the end of the day.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
For me, it really helps to separate the two aspects of alcoholism:
1. Physical - I can't and never will be able to drink like a normal person.
2. Mental Obsession - Despite how quickly my alcoholism was progressing (it was getting really scary), I kept rationalizing my drinking.
First, I had to fully accept that I will never ever be able to drink normally. No more of those background thoughts - "one drink won't hurt", "maybe I can learn to moderate", etc.
From here, I was able to fully work on a solution to the mental obsession - in my case, a spiritual soution, the 12 steps of AA. Today, the obsession has been lifted. I believe that the key to quitting drinking (not curing alcoholism) is "psychic change." And there are of course other solutions to produce this change.
For me, it's critical to know that correcting the mental aspect of alcoholism will not enable me to drink like a normal person. Everything in my life can be great - physically, mentally, and spiritually - but one drink will undo everything.
1. Physical - I can't and never will be able to drink like a normal person.
2. Mental Obsession - Despite how quickly my alcoholism was progressing (it was getting really scary), I kept rationalizing my drinking.
First, I had to fully accept that I will never ever be able to drink normally. No more of those background thoughts - "one drink won't hurt", "maybe I can learn to moderate", etc.
From here, I was able to fully work on a solution to the mental obsession - in my case, a spiritual soution, the 12 steps of AA. Today, the obsession has been lifted. I believe that the key to quitting drinking (not curing alcoholism) is "psychic change." And there are of course other solutions to produce this change.
For me, it's critical to know that correcting the mental aspect of alcoholism will not enable me to drink like a normal person. Everything in my life can be great - physically, mentally, and spiritually - but one drink will undo everything.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Originally Posted by Jayne2 
I basically fight this urge for days and the only thing that seems to relieve it is the binge, as it builds and builds. I have never successfully beat it without indulging in the binge.
If you want freedom from your obsession, surrender.
If you want freedom from your compulsion, surrender.
If you want to find a new way to live life, surrender.
How do you learn to do this? Get to a few AA meetings and ask for help!
Welcome and keep coming back!!
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