I called 911 on my sister
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by Toomutch 
I think I worded my last post incorrectly. The police are at my moms house now where my brother and nephew are temporarily living. My nephew heard my mom and brother whispering about sis saying that she was suicidal, and he freaked out too. He is a kid full of rage. I dont want them to take him away because he became emotional over his mom. But I guess my brother called 911 for a reason.
Turn it all over to your higher power, okay? :ghug :ghug
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
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Ok, so now I've read this post. I don't think you did anything wrong. As I said in your other post, I'm sure that has got to be hard for you. I do truly hope the situation works out well for all involved. :ghug3
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Suzette, I'm sorry you had to go through all of this, but remember, and this is a hard one, you don't have to take her phone calls while she's drunk. You know darn well that she isn't going to be thinking clearly, call you and apologize or even just talk like a "sane person" . . . did we ever when we were drinking? No!
I think you totally did the right thing calling 911. Like everyone else said, what if you went over there and . . . You get the picture. Your sister obviously needs some help and as much as you want to make it all better, until she's ready, there's not much you can do except Pray, ask God to watch over her.
As far as her comment about how you don't know what hard is or whatever . . .you know what you went through (and still go through) so don't let anyone else ever get into your head and try to minimize the work you have done on yourself. I have gotten the idea that you do live in a big, beautiful home (which is wonderful) and I imagine your sister is jealous. You also have a husband who loves you and haven't lost custody or guardianship of your kids. You have what she wants . . .Sobriety and Recovery included!
If the day ever comes when she calls and asks you for help or even where a Meeting is, then that's when you can talk about Recovery with her. Until then, you know it will only, more than likely, anger her.
I hope you check in with us today and let us know how things are going.
Hang in there Hon, you have come so far!
Judy
I think you totally did the right thing calling 911. Like everyone else said, what if you went over there and . . . You get the picture. Your sister obviously needs some help and as much as you want to make it all better, until she's ready, there's not much you can do except Pray, ask God to watch over her.
As far as her comment about how you don't know what hard is or whatever . . .you know what you went through (and still go through) so don't let anyone else ever get into your head and try to minimize the work you have done on yourself. I have gotten the idea that you do live in a big, beautiful home (which is wonderful) and I imagine your sister is jealous. You also have a husband who loves you and haven't lost custody or guardianship of your kids. You have what she wants . . .Sobriety and Recovery included!
If the day ever comes when she calls and asks you for help or even where a Meeting is, then that's when you can talk about Recovery with her. Until then, you know it will only, more than likely, anger her.
I hope you check in with us today and let us know how things are going.
Hang in there Hon, you have come so far!
Judy
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
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So, what happened with your nephew at your mom's house? Is everything alright? I'm sorry you have to go through all of this, but it's not your fault. You did what any normal person would do. Your sister is the one with the problem. Not you. Your in recovery and doing well. Pray for your family. Sounds like you could all use a healing. I wish you Peace and a family healing. Believe me, I'm no stranger to dysfunction. Been There, Done That. Bless You
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
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Originally Posted by Angelic17
So, what happened with your nephew at your mom's house? Is everything alright? I'm sorry you have to go through all of this, but it's not your fault. You did what any normal person would do. Your sister is the one with the problem. Not you. Your in recovery and doing well. Pray for your family. Sounds like you could all use a healing. I wish you Peace and a family healing. Believe me, I'm no stranger to dysfunction. Been There, Done That. Bless You
My brother has gaurdianship of my nephew and they are temporarily living with my mom. My nephew caught on to what was going on with his mom because he overheard a telephone conversation between my sister and my mom. (atleast I think that is how he found out).
He got very upset knowing that his mom was threatening suicide and wanted to call her. My brother wouldn't allow the phone call because my sister and nephew were court ordered to have no contact. My sister has done a number on him emotionally.
When my nephews tempor began to escalate my brother called the police to come and calm things down. This is what my nephew's therapist and probation officer have suggested he do in these type situations.
I am not feeling bad anymore for calling 911 and I will do it again if someone wants to threaten suicide. When I was suicidal and called out for help I needed it... So why would I not call 911 for my sister. If someone wants to threaten suicide around me they can be assured I will call 911, suicidal talk is nothing to take lightly.
I did call my sister yesterday morning and left a message on her phone. I told her I loved her and I hoped she would still come for Easter. No big surprise, she never showed.
We did have a nice Easter. After church my mom, nephew and brother came over. All the teens played rock band downstairs after our meal and the adults chilled upstairs.
Last edited by Toomutch; 04-13-2009 at 06:56 AM.
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Originally Posted by Toomutch
I did call my sister yesterday morning and left a message on her phone. I told her I loved her and I hoped she would still come for Easter. No big surprise, she never showed.
Kudos to you for courage. There really are no idle suicide threats. Even if she's not "serious" she's still obviously struggling with some emotional wounds. But based on all you've shared with us here about you, I know she's darn lucky to have you for family.
All the best.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
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Hey Suzette. I had a similar situation with a friend a couple of weeks ago. She said she had pill bottles lined up and was going to take them all. So I called the cops. They went over there and she said she was not going to hurt herself. She, of course, was drunk.
My point is that I set a healthy boundary with her. She KNOWS that if she ever calls again threatening suicide that I will call the cops.
It looks like you set a healthy boundary with your sister too. You did the right thing. She knows what to expect if she ever calls you threatening suicide.
Basically, we have to take care of ourselves. I knew that I had to call the cops on my friend because if she did try to commit suicide and I did nothing about it, then how would I feel.
My point is that I set a healthy boundary with her. She KNOWS that if she ever calls again threatening suicide that I will call the cops.
It looks like you set a healthy boundary with your sister too. You did the right thing. She knows what to expect if she ever calls you threatening suicide.
Basically, we have to take care of ourselves. I knew that I had to call the cops on my friend because if she did try to commit suicide and I did nothing about it, then how would I feel.
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Well here I am a day late and a dollar short, as you have already stated and others have affirmed, you did the right thing, when some one is talking like that, drunk or sober, the police need to be called.
Yes the disease is a bear and every time we think it is in full remission it will remind us that it is just waiting.
Hon yopu will all be in my prayers.
Yes the disease is a bear and every time we think it is in full remission it will remind us that it is just waiting.
Hon yopu will all be in my prayers.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
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I have been thinking about this thread for the last two days since you posted and it brings back very painful memories but I feel I need to share.
You did the absolute right thing without a question.
About ten years ago a good friend of mine often threatened to end it and I did nothing about it.
One Sunday we were drinking and the same thing happened. I tried to talk him through and cheer him up but that is all I did.
He went home right after that and that evening did not turn out well to put it mildly.
The memories of that day still haunt me and I wish I would have made that call or done something before to help him.
If someone makes that threat always take it as being real.
You did the right thing and thank you for letting me share.
This was the last time something like that happened but it is something I will never forget.
You did the absolute right thing without a question.
About ten years ago a good friend of mine often threatened to end it and I did nothing about it.
One Sunday we were drinking and the same thing happened. I tried to talk him through and cheer him up but that is all I did.
He went home right after that and that evening did not turn out well to put it mildly.
The memories of that day still haunt me and I wish I would have made that call or done something before to help him.
If someone makes that threat always take it as being real.
You did the right thing and thank you for letting me share.
This was the last time something like that happened but it is something I will never forget.
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Thread Starter
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Location: Littleton, Co.
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Fubarcdn - Thank you for sharing that! I'm sure it stirred up some painful emotions for you. I hope you have had a chance to work through the pain, and know that it wasn't your fault. :ghug3
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Im glad you put your sister first & knew you would have to face her lash out.
Shes only saying mean things to you, to mak her feel better about her self.
I wish you strength & prayers to get through this diffcult time.
Shes only saying mean things to you, to mak her feel better about her self.
I wish you strength & prayers to get through this diffcult time.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
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Ever try and do a family intervention?
At least, you don't have guilt over doing what, you felt was the right thing to do.
I've seen a lot of people drunk and committing suicide in and out of AA.
You just never know
prayers to you and your family
At least, you don't have guilt over doing what, you felt was the right thing to do.
I've seen a lot of people drunk and committing suicide in and out of AA.
You just never know
prayers to you and your family
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Join Date: Aug 2008
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Originally Posted by Toomutch
Fubarcdn - Thank you for sharing that! I'm sure it stirred up some painful emotions for you. I hope you have had a chance to work through the pain, and know that it wasn't your fault. :ghug3
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Originally Posted by Toomutch
Fubarcdn - Thank you for sharing that! I'm sure it stirred up some painful emotions for you. I hope you have had a chance to work through the pain, and know that it wasn't your fault. :ghug3
As hard as it gets try not to give up on her.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Suzette,
I'm glad to read your further posts on this thread, just now. I was kind of sad and upset when I read your first post asking whether or not you were a terrible sister and if you were right to call 911. I knew that you were anxious and worried. But I also knew that you have an enormous amount of strength and wisdom inside you. You've come through a lot. I knew that if you were still with yourself, if you listened to your inner wise voice, you would have your answers.
I think sometimes we get so used to looking outward for answers and confirmation that we skip listening to our own wisdom. You have come too far and learned too much to not know that you did the right thing by calling 911 and that it in no way made you a bad sister. The part of you that felt that, was a younger, more insecure, and more vulnerable self. That doesn't mean you are not sometimes afraid. We all are. And we look to each other for strength and confirmation. That's a good thing.
I am just glad that you can now hear your own voice of conviction, substance, depth, and power. It sounds like you've come through a traumatic and difficult family drama with courage. Good for you!
- Emilie
I'm glad to read your further posts on this thread, just now. I was kind of sad and upset when I read your first post asking whether or not you were a terrible sister and if you were right to call 911. I knew that you were anxious and worried. But I also knew that you have an enormous amount of strength and wisdom inside you. You've come through a lot. I knew that if you were still with yourself, if you listened to your inner wise voice, you would have your answers.
I think sometimes we get so used to looking outward for answers and confirmation that we skip listening to our own wisdom. You have come too far and learned too much to not know that you did the right thing by calling 911 and that it in no way made you a bad sister. The part of you that felt that, was a younger, more insecure, and more vulnerable self. That doesn't mean you are not sometimes afraid. We all are. And we look to each other for strength and confirmation. That's a good thing.
I am just glad that you can now hear your own voice of conviction, substance, depth, and power. It sounds like you've come through a traumatic and difficult family drama with courage. Good for you!
- Emilie
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