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-   -   Instead of drinking, I'm coming here first. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/173574-instead-drinking-im-coming-here-first.html)

firestorm090 04-05-2009 05:19 PM

Instead of drinking, I'm coming here first.
 
I'm having a really tough day with cravings, but I know the end result is misery, so I'm here instead of drinking. I don't know why this is happening today, everything is going better in my life and I've been active, focused, and energetic. Then this, :wtf2

Geez, it's a beautiful day out and my life is good without drinking, so what's up with these anxious thoughts, and sense of underlying anxiety, foreboding.

It just ticks me off to be doing well, then have this crap creep into my head.

Aysha 04-05-2009 05:26 PM

It all part of the disease.

I am glad you are aware of it and decided to come here instead.
It sucks. But keep a plan in place and get through it.

Coming here is a great idea. Just stay close and read and post. And those thoughts will be gone in no time.

I never came here first. I would just run out the door. Then I would come here..Post and then run out the door faster than the post could post. LOL
Lotta good that did.
Now I come here and post and vent and rant. And I will zoom around this board and talk about everything under the sun. And before I know it. An hour has passed and I feel so much better.
It will pass. I know that is so cliche. But it is also very true.

adore79 04-05-2009 05:28 PM

Feeling "good" and good weather are triggers for me. And feeling "bad" and bad weather too.

Its great that you came here first. hang around and read to pass the time. Do whatever you need to do not to pick up. We are here for you. You can do it!

TiredofTired 04-05-2009 05:36 PM

Hi Chiy...I have seen your many posts and sounds like that is how you avoid your disease, if you dont mind me asking you long have you had your sobriety right now?

Aysha 04-05-2009 05:47 PM

Out of respect for FS. And not to hijack their thread. You are welcome to PM me with anything you want to ask or say to me.

TiredofTired 04-05-2009 05:51 PM

Sorry FS....didn't know reply was hijacking, still new, thanks Chiy for your "share".

HideorSeek 04-05-2009 05:58 PM

Good for you, Firestorm, for coming here first!!! Read and post, read and post! I wish I had done that last night..., but I didn't and learned my lesson. It's funny how we have good days and bad days for no apparent reason. Danged if I understand it. But one immutable fact I have learned: I have NEVER said, the day after, "geez, THAT was a good idea"!

firestorm090 04-05-2009 06:13 PM

You guys are right, it really is strange coming here first. I normally would just say to heck with it, then get drunk, then maybe come here with my tail between my legs, or just blow off this group altogether. That's my old way of dealing with drinking, just isolate and pour the crap down my throat. The only time I stopped was when I was close to heaving my guts out, and that's because I was too drunk to clean up the mess, so I'd stop before that happened.

Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, been there, done that.

Hevyn 04-05-2009 06:24 PM

I don't understand why we do it, but I'm so thankful you're talking it out, firestorm. We teeter on the brink of destruction, then when we have our lives back and everything's going well - drinking thoughts creep into our heads. It's as if I somehow want to sabotage myself & my sobriety, but that's crazy talk. I don't get why we'd want to try and improve on the way we're feeling by adding alcohol to the mix. Things are finally stable for us - why isn't that always enough? It usually is for me - still, there are those days.

Dean62 04-05-2009 06:28 PM

Good choice. :c011:

coffeenut 04-05-2009 06:30 PM

The more you read and learn at SR, the better equipped you are when those cravings hit. Good for you for taking advantage of SR!

Gypsy Feet 04-05-2009 06:41 PM

firestorm my friend, I am so glad you are sober with me tonight!! Its already almost 7pm, and as old as we are we only have a little while left to enjoy today before its bedtime. So be strong my friend, we can get through today.

firestorm090 04-05-2009 07:32 PM

What would we do without the support of one another? I know that this old drunk would hit the bars, looking for an escape from myself, which is crazy, cause I've always liked myself better when I wasn't drunk. And, actually my life is good today. Sure, I have unresolved issues, but then who doesn't? Even therapists have unresolved issues. We're not alone in our frustrations, and even when those frustrations are minimal, we tend to want to escape life, for what, we will be dead a long time, (far as I know), so why try to run from the short life we have? Why think a drink will help today, when it never has in the past ten to fifteen years? I think I need a brainometer, to see if my brain is fried beyond repair, lol. Must have shortcircuited some neurons over the years.

I'm with you uglyeyes, coffeenut, Dean62, Hevyn, HoS, ToT, Cyn, Adore79; I'm sticking with all of you for tonight, cause it just ain't worth the price fo admittance to the looney ward again.


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