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-   -   One Day At A Time (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/173548-one-day-time.html)

Aysha 04-05-2009 09:55 AM

One Day At A Time
 
We all have heard it. I am sure we all have tried it.
But do you really know what it means?

Sounds pretty easy ...Right?
Just for today. One day at a time. However you word it. It all means the same. But for me. I thought I knew what it meant. Stay in the now.

But I dont think I have ever really grasped the true concept of it.
Untill recently.

I am always thinking and planning ahead. Romaticizing the past.
How are we suppose to grow if we dont take all that into account?

But here lately. I have found my stress levels have lessened since I have been really practicing.
"One Day At A Time."

Stay in the here and now.
Forget about what you have to do tomorrow as far as worry and want.

Be in the moment.
Soak in today. Whats around you. Whats goin on now.

Just for today.
If you can make it today. Just for today and today only. You have made progress. And you can do it again tomorrow.

This has really helped me as far as quitting smoking has gone. And now I get it as far as using goes.
I am not worrying about tomorrow..next week..next month..or next year.

Now is all we are given. And tomorrow isnt promised.

Its hard to stay in today. But it is so much more peacful and calming to do it.
Whats your thoughts on staying in today?

C23 04-05-2009 09:58 AM

I guess I have never really grasped the concept of thinking just for today. I am ALWAYS thinking ahead. I am always planning things and laying out a strategy.

People say that you should live today like it may be your last. I really want to start living like that but I will have to work on it.

24hrsAday 04-05-2009 10:01 AM

it is more easily said then done some days.. but.. "if" i stay in the present.. i am always much more happy and content with my sobriety!

ANGELINA243 04-05-2009 10:03 AM

I try to stay in the day--but some days (like my off ones) I still have trouble living in the past or am way ahead of myself trying to "clear away the wreckage of the future" (like a good friend of mine says.. ) :)

parentrecovers 04-05-2009 10:05 AM

one day at a time is hard for me, i'm a planner. i drive my friends and family crazy with all my planning. they call me (and my niece who is the same as me in this respect) "princess plan in the ass".

so i admire people who can do it. i can do it sometimes. it does feel peaceful.

adore79 04-05-2009 10:06 AM

I try but constatly find myself drifting away, I cant concentrate on much for very long.

mle-sober 04-05-2009 10:07 AM

I have a pretty severe memory impairment. So, staying in the moment is the only option. Sometimes, it is really embarassing and frustrating to have so little short-term memory. And other times, it is probably the only thing that keeps me sober!

Fubarcdn 04-05-2009 10:25 AM

I spend part of each day planning for the future. It involves planning activities, planning vacations and financial planning. It is the part of my day that actually makes me not want to drink.

Toomutch 04-05-2009 10:37 AM

For me staying in the day is a must. On occassion when I do slip into the past, or think about tomorrow, it never turns out well.

Taking5 04-05-2009 10:48 AM

I'm with toomutch. If I stay in the day I not only handle sobriety better, but by staying in the day and doing the next right thing, I find the future to be much more manageable when it becomes the now.

Maggot4Life 04-05-2009 10:50 AM

I try to stay in the now most of the time but sometimes my mind just goes crazy with the past and future events, but I can safely say that I am in the now MOST of the time. After all, all there is and all there will ever be in our life is Right Now!

flutter 04-05-2009 10:59 AM

When it relates to getting sober, this was critical at the beginning for me. However, as more and more time went on I constantly felt like I was dangling a proverbial carrot in front of me, my mind wasn't wrapping around the "one day at a time", I was thinking about it too much, and to me 'just for today' meant that next drink was hanging out down the road somewhere. For myself, I HAD to make a more permanent statement and committment to myself about sobriety, something I struggled with before I was ready. I will never drink again, ever. Once I was ready to commit to that (and it took a while!), I felt much more free and not tied to what I was feeling about the 'just for today'. No, it's not just for today, its forever.... but, I can only work on that one moment, one thought, one breath at a time.

vegibean 04-05-2009 11:01 AM

The minute I start thinking out today in the sense of "concerns" I put myself right back where my feet are. :)

marle 04-05-2009 03:03 PM

When my daughter was active in her addiction, there was a period of time when I saw her a total of 5 hours in 14 months. If someone had told me in the beginning of that time that this was what was going to happen, I would have just given up. Instead I learned to live my life one day at a time and I made it through. When my husband lost his job in Aug of 07 I lived one day at a time. Today my daughter has 10 months clean. My husband has found a new job. But I still live one day at a time. It is probably the second most important principle that I have learned through Ala-non. The most important is the first step. Hugs, Marle

Dime 04-05-2009 03:38 PM

I guess I am not much of a one day at a time person. I got really turned off by people telling me that if I didn't drink today I could have all I want to drink tomorrow. They never listened to me that I had planned to stop only for a week, two weeks, once six months and then resumed drinking and did exactly that.

When it comes to only trying to deal with what is immediately on the plate in front of you it makes a lot of sense. I tend to worry about tomorrow way too much. Oddly enough when a real serious situation arises I can do very well in focusing only on the immediate problem at hand. I was critically injured in a very serious accident and remained totally calm throughout the whole ordeal. But that bill that has to be paid tomorrow can literally kill me today!

Oh well, at least I am sober!!

Dee74 04-05-2009 03:56 PM

I'm like K - I'm always in next week LOL.

As long as I'm not worrying about stuff so much, it makes me want to run...and drink...I figure it's me....

I do try and peg it back tho - my gf helps :smashfrea LOL - it's about being conscientious vs being neurotic....and I figure a lot wiser people than I have maintained ODAAT is the best way to be...

In early recovery I really had to tho...the task is pretty momentous - it makes good sense to break it down into more manageable blocs.

D

jimhere 04-05-2009 05:29 PM

It is hard to grasp the concept of one day at a time when twenty years ago is eating you up and next week terrifies you and the present reality is untenable.

One day at a time does not mean toughing out every day, not drinking (or using) no matter what. If that is what it meant, I would have blown my head off a long time ago.

Recovery is a permanent thing. It means giving up liquor (or drugs) for good and for all and living one day at a time.

Most days I can live in the here and now. Before, the here and now was uncomfortable. It was always about somewhere else down the road. Or trying to forgot something from the past. Sometimes it was trying to recapture a bit of the past.


There is One who has all power-that One is God, may you find him NOW.

Aysha 04-05-2009 05:41 PM

Everyone has their own take on it. Thats great.
I like diversity. And always whatever works ..run with it.
For me..I have to stay out of the past as far as romatisizing. I do that alot and its dangerous. Life will never be like it was back then. No matter how much I try. Nothing back there I can change. But I will always remember where I went wrong in the past. So that I do not make those same mistakes. And I will take some things from the past and learn from them.

As for the future. When I see the future. It is scary. It is so uncertain and full of doubt and it makes me impatient. And trhen it really makes the past come to light and then I am in a huge vicious cycle of what if...what should, woulda, coulda.

Right here is all I need to worry about for right now.
Of course planning that summer vacation is different. Something like that is fine to me.
But as for worrying. I can only work with what is in front of me today.
Its taking me a long time to feel that way. I am always rushing in the future. The unknown. Trying to make things happen that may never even come up.
I will do today what I need to do to ensure that tomorrow I can take that next step.
Does that make sense?

adore79 04-05-2009 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiynita (Post 2181147)
I will do today what I need to do to ensure that tomorrow I can take that next step.
Does that make sense?

Yeah that makes since on how to live in today while giving some attention to the future. Thanks Trish.

least 04-05-2009 06:06 PM

Living in the moment is a hard concept (sometimes) for me to grasp. I'm trying to learn it from my dogs, cause they live in the moment, each moment being their entire universe. They live and love deeply cause it's all 'right now', as if there were no next moment and no previous moment. It's all brand new. Does that make sense? People who live with dogs will understand it, I'm sure.

It is sometimes hard for me to live in the moment, especially if I screwed up yesterday or have a 'trial' coming up in the future. But I'm working on it, with my dogs for my teachers.


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