warrens

I brought up my age. Kinda wish I hadn't. I climb mountains, am a voracious learner, and am "younger" in many ways than many I know half my age. I even enjoy "you know what" as much as I always did. Only now it is all about giving.

I think my reason for mentioning age is twofold: First to reveal what I've experienced, and second to inform all of you who view 60 as old that you are full of ****. I wouldn't trade being 25 for anything. I have always, and miraculously enjoyed the kind of health that allowed me to go decades without seeing a doctor, except for numerous injuries, stitches, even then, I've had numerous broken bones when I haven't gone to the doctor. I'm in no way suggesting that it was smart.

But, I am letting go of all that faux invulnerability. "Bout f'ing time. Perhaps I will live longer because I took so long to "grow up" in many ways. Time to unshackle myself from the ball and chain that is male ego. As Chief Joseph said, "I will fight no more forever."

Again, every single comment has been more uplifting than I can express.

warren (wish I hadn't used warrens as my screen name; I am simply and humbly warren)

chris1959

WELCOME HOME MY FRIEND!

I just turned 50 but when I'm your age I'm gonna' be 62.

I feel ya' and know you will be fine.

Sounds like you have great things to share. Hang in there.

Oh and by the way, maybe put the plug in the jug. Just a thought.

Chris

CarolD

Glad you are here with us again Warren...

PM Morning Glory if you want to drop the s from your user name.
You won't lose your previous posts if you decide to modify.

Sorry to know of your newest painful difficulties
All my best to you and your family

Toomutch

Warren, I wanted to comment on your regret for putting your age out there. You are by no means an old man. Sure some people at your age are old, some people at my age are old. My mom will be 67 this year and she not only looks young, but she is young, she acts young, she is even still trendy. I enjoy spending time with her, she is my best friend.
Please dont be ashamed by putting your age down, after all it is only a number.

warrens

Well, I'm overwhelmed. By the caring.

I'm far too early in the grief/loss process to know precisely where I am. I do know that I am in a reasonably good place, considering. The early stages mean one doesn't quite who is going to wake up in the morning. Normal. OK. Wisdom.

I don't quite know where to go with this here on SR. 95% of my posts here have been supportive replies to others. I started very few threads. I don't know if I helped others, but it sure helped me.

So, I need ESH. What I do not want is sympathy. Pity. No, no, no. Leads to "Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink." Ain't going there.

Reality can be a b*tch. But, at least it is reality, and this man can deal with that. Uncertainty and not knowing is what poisons and cripples me. Men are genetically programmed to DO something. Women seem to be programmed to FEEL things. I need to do both.

I don't know how many days/years I have left, but I am still chasing elk, coyote, and bear from my yard. They can have the field and the wilderness out my back door.

I need to go forward. That is what I need help with. Right now I seem to be a bit paralyzed, overwhelmed by so many things that need attention. I guess that is normal for this "phase." Got to FEEL it. But I also need to go forward, step by step. That is why I need the help.

love y'all

warren

mle-sober

I am incapable of writing anything more meaningful than "I am on your side and rooting for you. I know you can pull yourself out of any nose dive."

This, because my two youngest children are watching a loud and very animated movie in the room with me. Curtails my thinking. But not my caring.

Hugs.

Toomutch

How are you this morning Warren?

mamabin

Although I don't know you, I can relate to what you are saying. Please don't underestimate your pain. It is real. Don't compare it to others, everyone's pain is different. Some of us just have more of it on the inside than the outside

It sounds to me that you know what you need to do, it's just a matter of finding a way to get it done. You are obviously a very strong man.

I hope that when you look back on these days, you will know that they have changed who you are, for the better. At least that has been my experience.

As for age, I feel strange when I post mine as well. I feel that it puts an image out there that is just not me. I certainly wasn't strong at 25, I had a lifetime of lessons ahead of me.

As for the antidepressants, they have saved my life more than once and helped me live so that I could grow.

Stay strong my new friend

Anna

Warrens,

Prioritize, write things down that you want to accomplish and then make a To Do list each day and then cross off one or two things that you get done. It will not only make you feel like you are accomplishing things, you will be moving forward.

And, above all,be kind to yourself. Be proud that you had the courage to come here and post about your issues. Be proud that you are doing everything you can to help yourself.

Mattcake

:ghug3

Hevyn

Steam, thank you for a heartfelt post. I so appreciate your honesty, when it would be easy to pretend you've been fine. I consider my SR friendships to be very real, as no one else understands me quite the way my friends here do. There was so much "just say no" from friends and family who tried to help in the past-they don't get it, and never can.

I've had thoughts lately of trying to have "just a few" (surely I'd have the willpower to not over do it!) They've only been thoughts - but I do find the memories of my last binge growing dim. It's hard to recreate the horror of what I went through. That's why coming here always works magic for me. Thank you for helping me stay strong with your share.