Back to the beginning....
 

I've been trying to stop drinking on my own the last few months and I succeed...for a little while. I made it exactly a month until last week. Then I drank again last night. I'm a binge drinker and it's gotten worse and worse. It's affecting my family. My husband is sick of the relapses and really gave me an earful last night. I deserved it. I wish for him to be supportive but I understand (I think) how hard it is for him. He threatened to leave me last night. He hasn't so far but I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I want this so bad and just can't understand why I can't do it. I am SO much happier when I am not drinking! What the heck is wrong with me - I'm an alcoholic I guess is what is wrong. I've been in denial for so long, it's hard for me to say that.

I need to find some help and that is why I found this site and signed up. I am going to start going to 12 step meetings when my health allows. I have chronic pain from rheumatoid and osteo arthritis. I am going to make an appt with my doctor and talk about going on Anabuse. I've never tried that. I am going to start pursuing some other treatments for my arthritis to try to alleviate some of the pain so I am not as tempted to self medicate. I am going to try antidepressants again if my doctor feels it's appropriate, and I'm sure he will. I am going to try to talk more about what is going on inside my head instead of bottling it up.

I hope it's not too late for me. I hope I can pull myself together and salvage my life. People do it, I know I can too if I just find the right help for me.
I'm depressed, frustrated and scared. I have been sober a whole 24 hrs this time and I need to build from there. Thanks for listening!

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you found this website it has certainly helped many of us here especially myself. I'm still a newbie (officially on day 10 now) but I think everyone would agree you're making the right decision to go see your doctor and are investigating different support groups.

Good Luck. Anyone can do it you just have to have the willpower and the want to change your life.

Keep posting and nice to meet you.

Welcome to SR! Lots of support here. I'm pretty new at this too; sometimes it takes a couple false starts. Don't be too hard on yourself, just focus on what you need to do to stay sober.

welcome micwush

"i get drunk, we get better"

good wishes mic!

rz

I'm glad you are here. You are not alone and it is not too late for you! Keep reaching out, you'll get this thing. I'm pulling for you!:Val004:

You CAN stop drinking for good. It takes time and effort but it can be done. Just don't drink for today. Repeat every morning. I wish you the best. Welcome to the family.:ghug3

yes, you can stop.. the long journey begins with a single step..

Hon there is always hope!!! When I went into detox I felt hopeless, I had reached the point where I had to drink every day just to feel normal, the booze did not take me where I wanted to go any more, I either felt normal or I was passed out, there was no inbetween, there were many times in the end where I could not drink enough to get a buzz, every evening was a blackout for like 5 years.

I went into detox and then to AA meetings and got a sponsor and we took the steps. Today thanks to the program of AA & the fellowship I am happy, joyous & free!

Just a suggestion if I may, if oyur health right now is keeping you from going to meetings, why not call the AA hotline in your area, tell them what is up, perhaps a few ladies could get together and bring a meeting to you, or perhaps one of the ladies could assist you in getting to a meeting.

I would be willing to bet that your health will improve once you have been sober a while.