Bamboozle

I really don’t know what to do.

Therapy again today…only the third session. I went in there and told her I’ve been sober since last Wednesday (which is true). I basically broke down…said I couldn’t do this anymore (which is true)…I guess I was under distress…because at one point she mentioned “involuntary commitment”. Eh….what? I’m not that bad (at least I don’t think I am)…and I know I wasn’t acting, but involuntary commitment? She said she really didn’t want to do that…called my doctor right then and there….and long story very short, I ended up making a run to the hospital to pick up some free samples of Seroquel (a low dose). I asked a question about when I should take these and I was told at night. I asked if I could take one now, and I was told to consult with my psychiatrist.

I DON’T HAVE A FREAKIN’ PSYCHIATRIST!

I didn’t tell them that, though. I grabbed the pills and left.

Before all this crap happened (eh, three weeks ago), when I called my primary care physician I asked to see a psychiatrist. For whatever reason, he referred me to a psychologist instead. During my first session I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist. My therapist told me basically (these might not be the right words) that she would consult with my primary care physician and that I didn’t really need to see a psychiatrist. Eh…..I had reservations, but I’m pretty passive, so I let it go.


So now I have these pills. I’ve read the side effects and some are quite nasty. (Not asking for medical advice here....read on.)

Hmm…If I don’t take them, is she going to get me committed? What are my rights? Because I was honest about my thinking about suicide (emphasizing that I'm not sure how serious I am about it)…I told her about all of that. I have to call her by Friday this week.

I’m so confused right now…I don’t know what to do. Please help. What do I do?

allport

Aw Bam no advice from me (sorry ), just know I am thinking of you and I'm sure someone will be along in a while with a bit more experience.

Anna

Hi Bam,

I think that if you are feeling suicidal, it's good that you are talking to a therapist about it. And, in her position, if you say you're not sure how serious you are about suicide, she could be very concerned. It seems like a stretch to have you involuntarily commited, but I suppose she could do that if she thought you were at risk. I should add, I have no personal experience with this at all.

If you have questions about the medication, can you call you family dr and ask him? That would be a good placde to start. I'm not sure how it works, but I don't know if a psycologist can refer you to a psychiatrist, or if you need a medical dr to do that. Again, the best thing to do might be to talk to your family dr and explain that you would much rather talk to a psychiatrist than a psychologist. I don't think the psychologist could have prescribed the Seroquel could she?

If I were you, I'd take a deep breath and call your family dr.and try to get some answers.

Aysha

Bam. I am glad your honest with your Dr's.
This is a very sensitive topic for me. So I dont want to be bias here.
You have pretty emotional here lately. And I dont think you should be commited invountarily if you dont feel you need to be.
But from experience. Those thoughts progress without help.
And not from a pill help.
I know your seeing your therapist. There is a difference between feeling like you dont want to be here and actually plotting your own death.
I hope you arent serious about either.
All I can say is that you should take these thoughts seriously.
Very seriously.
I have to run out the door right now. But please do whatever you have to do to feel better and rid yourself of that thinking.
Please be safe and take care of yourself.

Bamboozle

No, she can't prescribe it, but she called the office where I go for care and suggested it because I obviously can't be on benzos. I believe that my doctor wasn't in at the time and she talked to a nurse instead? I don't know...I'm a bit out of sorts now.

I know jack about referrals...I probably do need my primary care to refer me to a psychiatrist...but when I first asked...*sigh*...I guess saying "I need to see a psychiatrist" wasn't good enough...I should have been adamant and explained my reasons thoroughly.

Thanks, Anna. And thanks allport and everyone for the support.

doorknob

(((Bam)))

IMO, you are better off with a psychologist/MD team rather than a psychiatrist. I've gone both routes. Are you taking an SSRI as well?

mle-sober

Hi Bam,

First off - it doesn't have to be involuntary committment. It could be voluntary. It could be that you and your therapist take a close look at all the issues and the ways they are weighing on you, and you agree to go inpatient for a little while for your own safety and to get stable on some meds. I've been inpatient, involuntary and voluntary. Although it may not make any difference in actual treatment, it kind of feels better to know that you're in there on your own free will because you know you need help.

Second, I take Seroquel. My experience with it has been completely positive. A little strange and scary sometimes. But I know it contributed to saving my life and keeping me sane. Definitely take it at night, when you are ready to sleep. Don't have other things you need to do - like brushing teeth, letting the dog out, etc. Be in bed and ready to read or watch tv and go to sleep when it hits. Also, I experienced a very uncomfortable side effect of not being able to swallow right as I was going to sleep. Really not pleasant. I take benedryl about 1/2 hour before my seroquel and don't experience that problem any longer.

I take a number of other psych meds so I'm not 100% sure that it was the Seroquel that had this effect on me - but I think it was. When I started taking it, I had been all jambed up inside, filled with misery, swinging maniacally back and forth between crazy hopeful and crazy emotionally black and blue. My whole world looked and felt fuzzy, unmanageable. I felt remote from my essential self and like I was kind of shattered inside into a lot of little shards. I was as close to the bottom as I'd ever been.

And then, within just a few days of taking Seroquel, it was like someone had come along and wiped all the mud off my windshield. Or - I use this metaphore a lot - it was as if I'd been living inside and looking out a dirty old screen door my whole life. And someone came along and opened the screen door and lead me outside into the real world.

So, I guess what I'm saying, is I hope you can take this as a chance to get better and to help yourself. Try not to panic about the potential side effects or the various circumstances of your receiving the perscription. You got FREE samples! It's a drug that very well could help you enormously. And, you have a therapist who is listening and responding. All good things!

You say, "I’m so confused right now…I don’t know what to do. Please help. What do I do?"

I say, Try to not worry about the confusion. You are experiencing a very difficult time. It makes sense that you're confused. Do what your therapist told you to do. Take the Seroquel at night. (I'd take a benedryl before hand, like I said.)

Are you on a safety contract with your therapist?

least

I would 'press' the doctor about a referral to a shrink. Do'nt take no for an answer. And are you going to at least try the seroquel? I was on it for a while but the only thing was that it made me very groggy. You can call your doctor and ask about the side effects.

I also hope you're not serious about suicide. I think about that too when I'm really depressed and stressed, but will not do it cause I don't want to abandon my kids and dogs. Do you have a close friend you can talk to? I'm here for you if you want to vent or scream. Email me or send me a PM.

This too shall pass. You won't feel like this forever. Be good to yourself.

Bamboozle

Here's the thing...My last appointment I was still drinking...so my doctor was saying "no" to the SSRI.

This therapy session I was really upset...so any talk about an SSRI flew completely out the window. Her primary goal was to get me calmed down as soon as possible...hence the call during the session to my doctor's office.

I have to call my therapist by this Friday, and I have another appointment with my therapist exactly one week from today.

Bamboozle

mle-sober, thank you so much.




What's that?

desertdonna

Seroquel is a mood stabilizer, one of many. There are many side effects listed, but all mood stabilizers, SSRIs included, have many side effects listed.

I'm so sorry, Bam. Please realize that if you talk about suicide with any professional they must adhere to a stringent protocol according to their ethical practice.

Starting with your GP is a good idea regarding the medication. But remember, they have no expertise in psychology, or really what the best med to prescribe for emotional difficulties. And many psychiatrists these days restrict their practice to dispensing meds only. As I'm sure many can attest, it's difficult finding the right therapist and getting the best med for you. Sometimes there's a lot of trial and error. You can always seek a referral to someone else.

Please stay calm and try to relax as best you can. If the doctor advises, maybe try the seroquel at night as it is purportedly a sedative initially.

Hang in there. You're overwhelmed right now and that doesn't help. One little step a time.

Keep posting.

Hugging you,

Donna

Bamboozle

I probably am...it's 50 mg extended release tablets...supposed to be a fairly low dose.

Whoever my therapist talked to on the phone...they know about my heart palipations and that I'm on a beta blocker...I probably shouldn't be so scared, right?

mle-sober

Also, with my insurance, I don't need a referral to see any kind of doc. It really depends on your insurance. Look at the back of your card for the phone number for mental health, call that number, get names and phone numbers of pdocs in your area and call them all to see if anyone has time. Usually, a new patient takes weeks, if not months, to be seen. But it might be worth it to go ahead and make that appt anyway.

I see a pyschiatrich nurse specialist with perscriptive priveledges. She is wonderful. In my experience, pysch nurses have more time than the typical pdoc. Just my 2 cents there.

Bamboozle

No insurance...ah, well.

I do have charity care at one hospital for several more months, but that's not the hospital I'd have to go to in order to commit myself (she did mention self-commitment before saying involuntary commitment).

I wonder, how expensive would it be without insurance? I'm sure I'd have no problems getting in...I just don't know how I'd pay for it. I flip burgers for a living.

gneiss

((Bam)) Not much help here, the only experience I have with Seroquel was when I was taking them for fun. My sister does the psychologist/MD thing, and does really well with it. She prefers having two people make sure the meds are working how they should. Not much help to offer; I love ya though, I'm thinking of you.

Anna

Bam,

I think you're getting through this pretty well.

I do agree with you, that if you think you need to see a psychiatrist, then you might have to push a bit. I have found, that I need to be my own advocate for my health. My dr does the basics, but in the end, it's up to me. I think of my past experiences with drs. I had a horrible time getting a diagnosis for fibromyalgia. I had years of chronic pain. When I was kind of passive with the dr, she pretty much ignored me and it wasn't until I got upset and spoke from my heart, that I was quickly referred to a neurologist. It shouldn't be like that, but sometimes it is.

PaperDolls

((((bam))))

Hevyn

No experience with this, Bam, but am very concerned and glad you came here to talk about it. Please keep fighting for a sane and healthy life for yourself, whatever it takes.

mle-sober

If you don't have insurance, I don't know why you'd need a referral to see anyone. The referral is for the insurance company, usually.

I don't have any experience negotiating the system without insurance. I guess I would just call the hospitals that have inpatient psych units in my area and ask about how they handle uninsured patients. I can't imagine paying their normal fees out of pocket. That would be untenable, I'd think.

A Safety Plan is an agreement that you have with someone (usually your doctor or your therapist) that details what you will do if you begin to have imminent urges to hurt yourself. You make a contract, essentially, to call someone before you take any action. It relies on your integrity to keep your word not to hurt yourself. Sometimes, I have found it helpful. It sounds like a no-brainer. But it put some time in between my urges and my actions.

I hope you're feeling a little better as the day progresses. I hope you are using self-comforting measures. And distractions like movies or walks.

50 mg of Seroquel is a nice low amount. I take 300. Just for some comparison.

It will still have a strong effect on you, no doubt. Like I said, be all ready for bed when you take it.

I do feel a little groggy in the morning. But it was worse when I first started and less invasive now.

Hang in there. How are you feeling now? Good job not DRINKING!! You can't drink while taking Seroquel. That would be very dangerous.

Bamboozle

I think I just made a verbal one of those today. She told me I need to promise her that I will either talk face to face to my mom or dad or give her (the therapist) a call before I do anything stupid.

I think I'll take a pill tonight and see how I feel tomorrow. I have an appointment with my cardiologist, but other than that I'm free and I'm going to try to relax.

I'll see how it goes and make some calls if this isn't working...and if I'm still scatterbrained, I'll ask my therapist to find out some info for me (based upon the suggestion she made today).


Thank you.