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hello sorry for a long rant to start

Old 03-31-2009, 09:12 AM
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hello sorry for a long rant to start

Well a few reasons i am posting here, is that i don't want to be a drunk
yet i sort of sliped in to being one, maybe, did not drink today, first
day in a while. like 8-12 weeks. before this i was drinking a bit, hard
any where from 1/4 to a 1/3 of a 750 a night. not even for the buzz
just to shut down the brain, got some stuff in my life, was tired of
tossing and turning for hours on end working and re-working this
stuff. land lady, bull ****, bored, the girl is out of town for work
it was winter, kinda snuck up on me. woke up yesterday like
whoa dude, look at what you been doing.

Want to nip what i see could be trouble in the bud before it is an
big issue. Did not start off doing up to 1/4 to a third in a night,
guess none us of here did. The tolerances thing, had it happen to me
about 7-8 years back. cleaned up, been ok, I KNOW i have to keep
an eye on this, check it now.

mostly how i found this place, is had a bit of a bad spot this past
week, and was drinking WAY to much. this past week and this
wekend, YIKES! between Saturday night, and sunday night i killed
a 750, and a 12 pack of beer. Hey i know this is just an excuse,
but last sunday i got dumped by my girl of over 3 years, out of the
blue. We HAD an open/pollyamerious non committed non monogamous
best friends, play friends relationship, or so i thought, work took her
out of town for the past 3 months, been so missing her, so looking
forward to be with her, sit in thesun do our nailes. Well then on
Sunday, march 222nd just after we ordered brunch she tell me out
of the blue, just dumped, not just dumped me, but told me she is now
in a committed, exclusive,monogamous, long distance, lesbian relationship with an other woman

spent the past week like a zombe, was buying a 750 a day, not drinking
but getting damm close, sobbong about her, thought we loved each
other, or so i thought. Then get slammed hard.?

This brings me to how i ended up here, after my drinking this past weekend
i was feeling it and looking for "cures" to hands vibrating, why i am sweating
puking. After reading a lot of posting here i can see why. seems to be a common thread .

was up all night surfing the net. doing the test i found here and other
places, you all know the ones, are you drunk test, on most all, i am just
one number over, on one i was 2 over, i think it was how the questions
are set.

No drinking for now, for a while yet, And a lot of people know people
who are going over some hard times and drink too much for a while the
clean up and move on. put her behind me. None for tonight either, have
been up for 24 plus hours, sleep should come easy tonight.

so talk to me folks, what you people think, this is a small problem for
now, easy to make small problems go away with rather than deal with
big trouble later.

I have spent the past night, reading and looking over a lot of stuff.
What an amazing place the interweb is. I see some very big mistakes
i was starting to make, No more drinking alone for a long time. never
have had any troubles haveing a few drinks in clubs and bars, there
i have a frame or referance, You are standing up moing arounding, you
know when you are starting to have to much, your dance moves are
off, you can't chat up your friends, or even worse the hotty in the blue
top.

sorry to rambel and rant
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:17 AM
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us!

I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for. It sounds like you're not sure if you're an alcoholic or not, and that you think you have just a small problem?

If you are going to stop drinking, you really should talk to your dr because detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous. If you want to stop drinking and live a sober life, there is lots of support here.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:18 AM
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Glad you are hear, keep reading and posting.

My best to you,

BA
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:18 AM
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Welcome to SR xge, hopefully you can find some answers here.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:21 AM
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Hi and welcome. If you stick around I'm sure you'll find some of the info and support here invaluable.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:33 AM
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Glad you are here.
Noone need hit bottom to stop.
This is a great place with lots of support.
Hope to see more of you.
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Old 03-31-2009, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by 51anna View Post
Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us!

I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for. It sounds like you're not sure if you're an alcoholic or not, and that you think you have just a small problem?
i am trying to fiiger that out as well, I am not sure either, was hoping to find some insite here. see what you peole thing. It kinda caught me off guard a bit has well, knew that it was more than i should, never saw it has a "problem", no killer hang overs, no waking up covered in puke, then when i look in to how much it really was it was like oh my. Like dang you !

That and my "family" my community amazing artist,bright creative, hippies freaks and weirdos came to me, and supported in about the break up. sometime around 4am today, it happened, no more zombie over her. Her heart is with another, that and i need some time do deal with other stuff in my life

A bit of me started to put her behiind me on firday, was on my bicycle
rode down to deep in the mission, to a dive bar, a friend of mines new
band was playing (The front man is this 6 foot 230 pound total gutter
punk rock guy, who has the most amazing voice, he does a cover of
Johny Cash folsom prison blues) there i was, 52, in the mosh pit, slaming
to live punk rock at midnight, yup life is going to be ok.

In some ways she did me a huge favor by dumping me, yeah, if she
did not kick me to the curb like she did, would have not got so trashed
this past week, and may never seen what i see today.

I need some time, she needs some time, i know she is in the deep new
think with the new girl, could not last? yet allow me time to get my act
back together.

Q. ok, so what do lesbians do ona 2nd date?

a. rent a moving truck.

xoxo
belinda
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:00 PM
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Originally Posted by 51anna View Post
Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us!

I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for. It sounds like you're not sure if you're an alcoholic or not, and that you think you have just a small problem?
i am trying to fiiger that out as well, I am not sure either, was hoping to find some insite here. see what you peole thing. It kinda caught me off guard a bit has well, knew that it was more than i should, never saw it has a "problem", no killer hang overs, no waking up covered in puke, then when i look in to how much it really was it was like oh my. Like dang you !

That and my "family" my community amazing artist,bright creative, hippies freaks and weirdos came to me, and supported in about the break up. sometime around 4am today, it happened, no more zombie over her. Her heart is with another, that and i need some time do deal with other stuff in my life

A bit of me started to put her behiind me on firday, was on my bicycle
rode down to deep in the mission, to a dive bar, a friend of mines new
band was playing (The front man is this 6 foot 230 pound total gutter
punk rock guy, who has the most amazing voice, he does a cover of
Johny Cash folsom prison blues) there i was, 52, in the mosh pit, slaming
to live punk rock at midnight, yup life is going to be ok.

In some ways she did me a huge favor by dumping me, yeah, if she
did not kick me to the curb like she did, would have not got so trashed
this past week, and may never seen what i see today.

I need some time, she needs some time, i know she is in the deep new
think with the new girl, could not last? yet allow me time to get my act
back together.

Q. ok, so what do lesbians do ona 2nd date?

a. rent a moving truck.

xoxo
belinda
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:31 PM
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Belinda,

Nice to meet you! Welcome to SR! You'll find some great support here! Stick around.

Love,

Lenina
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:45 PM
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welcome!!!

Michigan Alcohol Screening Test

There are quite a few self-evaluation tests you can take.
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 03-31-2009, 11:52 PM
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>There are quite a few self-evaluation tests you can take.
>Keep coming back, you'll find a Lot of support here.


yeah i checked that one one out. have an issue with the way question
# 2 is worded

2. Have you EVER awakened the morning after some drinking the night before and found that you could not remember a part of the evening?
YES or NO

in world i live in And i do not live in a world of alcoholics well over 90% of "normal" drinkers would have done this one time or another. if it was often i would be ok with it that. Have the same issues with, 3, 7, with the same wording. Hell i would have failed this test in my 20s, I am 52 now. i think you take any group of 20 somethings, if they are honest and 100% truthful about test and if they read it has it is written. well over half would be "Early or middle problem drinker"

That and all the questions have the same point value seems a bit off to me. questions 16 to 19 have the same value as the first 3?. Not remembering part of an evening? that it is the same value has having delirium tremens or your being hospitalized in a psychiatric ward? nope? I was very honest and failed 1, 2 and 5. I have been drinking more than normal of late, fell asleep in a cab and i am getting a beer gut. and feel bad about it makes me a problem drinker?

That said, and i do tend to call out stuff when i see it, i have found some very good things on this site so far.Never knew about drinking and high blood presser. the whole neuron transmission thing was cool to learn, Now i know. Last time i did "e" it did not work,Why cause i partied
kinda hard the night before. I have learned and now understand, my recent increase in use over the past winter, mostly out of boredom, and the need to back off for a bit. not allow the beginnings of a chemical in- balance to be the start of a very slippery slope indeed.

Someone earlier had ask why I am hear, looking for tools, I am many things, stupid is not on that list. I noted an increase in the amount and frequency of my drinking and noted the issue with tolerance. I been using more of late and need to stop, give some time to allow the body to heal and return to its previous state. Much of it is my fault, even this evening poking around here i continue to learn and to respect. learn how if un check how devastating it can be, and respect that when you consume it wisely you will be fine. Respect my self, and not become short sited again, be strong and learn to take the higher road rather then the easy pass low pass it will seduce you into. That i saw the tolerances starting to
build, to find the tools so stop the escalation, before it would begin to grow at first by the square then by the cube is the knowledge i seek

I think i have found the tools required for the task at hand, i'll stick around here for a bit more, More in the form of the ever vigilante
firefighter ensureing that every smolding ember of the averted inferno is dead and cold.
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:24 AM
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Hello and welcome, if I can ever be of any assistance just let me know.

Peace,
Lep
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Leprechaun View Post
Hello and welcome, if I can ever be of any assistance just let me know.

Peace,
Lep
sort of stumbled on to this place last night. have found some of the tools
i need, a key tool is found, is useing other things to help me relax and sleep
alas i was using to much booz to turn off my head and sleep. A Wicca friend of mine gave be some teas to try. Also give it some time, allow the body to heal allow the synapses return to there original state.
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