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What do you think? Do I need AA

Old 03-31-2009, 06:06 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I left AA after six months of sobriety, and I haven't looked back. I felt that AA was doing me more harm than good (still feel it was). But. If I'd felt that I didn't need a sober network, that I was recovered enough to do things on my own, you can bet I'd have taken that as a red flag and I'd still be going to meetings. I'll never be "fixed," and if I ever start to think I am, that's a sure sign of trouble.

Just my two cents. Have you tried asking your sponsor about it? I consulted with my sponsor before leaving AA and she agreed that it wasn't the right thing for me. (Condescendingly and with the implication that I'd be cursed to drink again if I left the program, but in her own way she did confirm that I was doing the right thing.)
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Old 03-31-2009, 06:14 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I've been sober for about the same time (Feb 2 2009 was my last drink), and I have a similar situation regarding the urge to drink. It's just no longer there. Last week, the waiter misheard my order for a ginger ale and handed me a gin & tonic instead. Not even a moment of hesitation nor temptation which I might have had during my 'quit for a month' periods. And, today I even made a traditional coq au vin with a bottle of Burgundy. Not even a fleeting urge to even take a sip.

However, I am still going to AA and about to do a 4th step with my sponsor. I have a number of reasons for continuing... I remember my initial fear of recidivism via drunk dreams and the like during my first two weeks of sobriety - I don't want to get too cocky. Also, I'd like to go through and complete all 12 steps - especially if it will allow me to help others as they have helped me. Finally, I confess I enjoy the fellowship and that is part in why I keep coming back.
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Old 03-31-2009, 07:41 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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In AA it is a feeling that you must go for ever, is it possible that there are just a few out there that can get what they need from it and leave, and still be successful in sobriety?
Is there any particular reason you're not interested in passing on this gift to a newcomer? What if you had gone to your first AA meeting only to find out that everyone had their desire to drink removed and had gone home. The room would be empty.
Contrary to the BS youy may hear in meetings, AA is not a "Selfish Program"!
AA is about Alcoholics helping Alcoholics. Not Alcoholics helping Me.
Stay in AA and pass it on!
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Old 03-31-2009, 08:47 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Wow, a lot of great support here as always on SR.

I love being able to get all these different opinions.

The underlying reason for me not wanting to go anymore is.
I am to independent and these meetings and calling my sponsor is contradictory to my person. I was fine when I knew I could not do it by myself
but I feel like I can now and have to get back to being independent, I can't keep feeling like I am Dependant on AA, and thats the way it feels when I'm at a meeting.

I will not cut it out completely I will continue the big book study I am in
and I am going to talk to my sponsor and see If we can just talk every so often.

Again Thanx to all of SR for all the help!!!!
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:26 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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As others have said only you can decide if you can make it w/o AA. I only went to AA during the first 2 months of sobriety, just once or twice a week; I never got a sponser because I'm extremely independent and rather a loner (and the temporary sponsor annoyed me). I continue to read the AA literature and the bible and promised myself that if I ever have an urge to drink I will go to an AA meeting. I've been sober for 19 months so it's working for me.

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Old 03-31-2009, 09:31 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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HWF just keep in mind if you do decide to stop going that the doors of AA are never closed and you will always be welcome back with open arms.
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Old 03-31-2009, 01:59 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Cool

Originally Posted by Pinkcuda View Post
Is there any particular reason you're not interested in passing on this gift to a newcomer? What if you had gone to your first AA meeting only to find out that everyone had their desire to drink removed and had gone home. The room would be empty.
Contrary to the BS youy may hear in meetings, AA is not a "Selfish Program"!
AA is about Alcoholics helping Alcoholics. Not Alcoholics helping Me.
Stay in AA and pass it on!
...not interested in passing on the gift? ...a totally empty AA meeting room? ...not gonna happen. There will always be those for whom this is their way of 'giving back' their way of 'carrying the message.' ...and yes, AA is about alcoholics (recovered/recovering) helping other alcoholics, but AA meetings is not the only way....

I went to AA meetings for about the first 4 years of my recovery, but early on I didn't have a life....nor did I have a job or a place to live. After a while, when I started getting a bit of my life back, I realized that my meeting attendance was slacking off.....to a point when I just wasn't going any more. I had a life, and I was living it. Does this mean that I wasn't giving back, that I wasn't carrying the message....? Absolutely not! I came to the realization that there were many ways to 'carry the message' and sitting in the rooms of AA waiting for folks to come to me just wasn't my way....I preferred to 'carry' it out in the real world....I was a living, breathing, a walking, talking Big Book.

For me it's all about the motive; what was my motive for not going to meetings....? ....was there some kind of fear involved....or what? I came to the conclusion that, although I found them invaluable in early recovery, I really never 'needed' them (I never could figure out what was to 'need' about a meeting). I didn't 'need' meetings to get sober, and I definitely didn't 'need' them to stay sober, and I found lots of way to 'give back' and 'carry the message' outside of the rooms of AA.

...and quite frankly, I really didn't want to spend an hour (at minimum) up to 3+ hours (maximum) of travel time for a one hour meeting, and perhaps some fellowship afterwards. So, for me, I guess one could say that I do work a relatively 'selfish' program, but only when it comes to official meetings; I still socialize with folks at the Lambda center where I first got sober; I still do the dances, and the fashion shows, etc. But when it comes time for the meeting, I'm off to Katz's Deli for a nosh of chopped liver and bagels, herring in sour cream, or a bit of gefilte fish.....and I'm a happy camper...... (o:


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Old 05-07-2015, 10:57 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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LeavingAA Yes

Hi There,
1) You donít have to stay in AA to stay sober.
2) You donít have to be completely sober to have a life.
3) Despite it all, sometimes the loneliness can be crushing. I feel you there.
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Old 05-07-2015, 11:05 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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what I've found in my journey is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.... AA, that is.

I was never able to successfully moderate alcohol - but I've found that moderating AA is actually a really helpful thing for me.

AA became repetitive and consumed time that was also scarce. I am a single father and have a challenging career and an active lifestyle. Too much AA was at some point becoming a burden that was challenging my balance. It had to compete with time that also needed to be rationed for other self-nurturing activities.

Now, I still use AA when I feel called. I use the big book. I have a sponsor. I have intent to complete the steps - though I've been stalled for some time (yet a lot of thought and a little pen to paper happens, bit by bit. Just that is enough to keep my awareness attuned and growwing in my step work).

While for many, AA needs to be a constant, even daily, consistent rock of foundation - for some it is one tool among many. I'd encourage you to think about the overall balance of your recovery and think about intuitively finding for yourself what that right balance is, and where AA may fit into it.
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Old 05-07-2015, 11:08 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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to SR Leaving AA.
This is an old thread from 2009 and the OP has not logged in to SR since May 2013.
I'd encourage you to think about the overall balance of your recovery and think about intuitively finding for yourself what that right balance is, and where AA may fit into it.
This is really a very good piece of advice FreeOwl.
Finding balance and contentment while remaining sober.
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Old 05-07-2015, 11:19 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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switch up your meetings......hit some in other areas.......
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Old 05-07-2015, 12:25 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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It is very common to leave aa and stay sober. Lots of people do it and there are plenty of forums specificAlly for that purpose
. A lot of people "taper off" aa so to speak., I think what everyone said is good, only you can decide if you want meetings or not, but they will always be there if you need em.
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Old 05-07-2015, 12:45 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LeavingAA View Post
Hi There,
1) You donít have to stay in AA to stay sober.
2) You donít have to be completely sober to have a life.
3) Despite it all, sometimes the loneliness can be crushing. I feel you there.
I tried #2 - it didn't work. Today I go to #1 because for me there is a solution and I don't have to deal with #3!

Leaving - glad you're here on SR
Keep coming back!
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Old 05-07-2015, 01:11 PM
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Originally Posted by LeavingAA View Post
2) You donít have to be completely sober to have a life.
.
Ummmm......
??????????
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