Back to the beginning again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Guelph, Ontario
Posts: 640
Back to the beginning again
I screwed up again just used. SO I'm back to day 1 again. This is a lot harder then I thought I haven't been out of treatment for a week and I've already messed up twice. I'm not sure what to do or how I'm going to get better. I suck at this. :wtf2
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Pink, just keep at it. I started trying to quit last October. I had 2 or 3 days, then I'd be back to it. Then maybe a week. I've been at it 5 months and right now I'm on day 24. I even got up to 8 weeks once and... *whoops!*
It's normal. You're going to get it to work. Keep posting, keep trying. It's a learning curve. Not only do you learn how not to drink or drug, you learn how to recover from a relapse and put it behind you, with renewed ambition for staying sober. Use the slip as a reminder of why you are quitting. Good luck.
It's normal. You're going to get it to work. Keep posting, keep trying. It's a learning curve. Not only do you learn how not to drink or drug, you learn how to recover from a relapse and put it behind you, with renewed ambition for staying sober. Use the slip as a reminder of why you are quitting. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hey pink, we talked in chat one time recently. It's good to see you posting. In treatment you saw that you could stay clean and sober for a period of time - apply the principles that you learned while in there, and don't use, no matter what. I know it can be a whole lot different when we get out, I do, but it can be done.
I saw a shrink for a while, too, and attended a relapse prevention group. I also attend 12-Step meetings which help a lot and I met some great sober women. It's so much easier having supportive friends to help me when I falter.
Keep reading, posting, and never ever give up. You can do this.
I saw a shrink for a while, too, and attended a relapse prevention group. I also attend 12-Step meetings which help a lot and I met some great sober women. It's so much easier having supportive friends to help me when I falter.
Keep reading, posting, and never ever give up. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Originally Posted by pinkgurl87 
I screwed up again just used. SO I'm back to day 1 again. This is a lot harder then I thought I haven't been out of treatment for a week and I've already messed up twice. I'm not sure what to do or how I'm going to get better. I suck at this. :wtf2
Why did I go to treatment?
Did it teach me nothing?
I'm sure the treatment place gave you something to use while on your own. Now you just have to really use those things. If you found that they didn't agree with you then you have to find another way to make this happen.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Don't stop trying. Keep moving forward one day at a time. You can stay clean. Work at it, give it your best effort. Figure out what your triggers are for using and work on a way to get past the triggers without giving in. It can be done. Learn from your relapse and keep moving forward.:ghug3
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Pinkgurl are you following ALL of the suggestions they made in staying clean and sober from the folks in treatment? I know when I was in detox they suggested that I go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor along with IOP and a counselor.
I drank every day as a result my couselor in detox told me to start working my recovery every day....... Just kind of made sense to me, if I drank every day then an AA meeting every day seemed like the thing to do. That was 2 1/2 years ago and have not touched a drop since.
I drank every day as a result my couselor in detox told me to start working my recovery every day....... Just kind of made sense to me, if I drank every day then an AA meeting every day seemed like the thing to do. That was 2 1/2 years ago and have not touched a drop since.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Guelph, Ontario
Posts: 640
I screwed up yesterday so back to day one again. Today was so hard to get through the day without using but I made it. At least now the cravings don't seem to be as bad. Sometimes I wonder whether or not I'm an addict because I don't use everyday and stuff though I am really struggling to stay clean, I know when I was in inpatient they diagnosed me with an addiction. The leader at addiction groups says I'm an addict and that I'm in denial. It's hard to except. It's like whenever I use I except I'm an addict but when I'm not using I feel like because I'm not using I'm not an addict. Sometimes I think I'm not that bad compared to other people. Though I don't know how I'm going to stay clean for longer periods of time. Idk about all this. This whole addiction thing is hard I'm not sure what to think about it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((pinkgurl)))
I could "not use" for a period of time, too. However, I couldn't STAY that way. I'd always go back to using. Normal people don't do that. I also realize that if I had to question myself on whether or not I was an addict, I had a serious problem, but that's just me.
I had months without using, but then relapsed for a week and just about lost everything. That's when I finally accepted that I was an addict and just could not use. I had already been locked up, lost everything, been homeless, etc....gotten clean for 4-5 months at a time, used, got clean again, and I still wouldn't accept it. I guess my relapse brought about enough consequences that I finally just gave in and accepted it.
Getting to acceptance is an individual thing. I just wanted you to know, I understand and I hope you don't have to go as far as I did to get to that point.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I could "not use" for a period of time, too. However, I couldn't STAY that way. I'd always go back to using. Normal people don't do that. I also realize that if I had to question myself on whether or not I was an addict, I had a serious problem, but that's just me.
I had months without using, but then relapsed for a week and just about lost everything. That's when I finally accepted that I was an addict and just could not use. I had already been locked up, lost everything, been homeless, etc....gotten clean for 4-5 months at a time, used, got clean again, and I still wouldn't accept it. I guess my relapse brought about enough consequences that I finally just gave in and accepted it.
Getting to acceptance is an individual thing. I just wanted you to know, I understand and I hope you don't have to go as far as I did to get to that point.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Guelph, Ontario
Posts: 640
I had something interesting happen today. I almost used went downtown and stuff but then I ran into someone from NA and talked to her for a bit then I had this feeling that I wanted to leave and go back home instead of staying to get drugs but I didn't know how to get out of it. So I prayed help me God and guess what I ended up running into someone I knew from church and took the bus home with her so I didn't end up using.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Hi,
Never give up the fight to get sober...It is the only way life can be meaningful...
I had a hard time forgiving myself,and this kept me stuck for awhile...
Once I forgave myself, I was able to remain sober...
Don't let anything get in your way.
YOU can do this..:ghug2
Never give up the fight to get sober...It is the only way life can be meaningful...
I had a hard time forgiving myself,and this kept me stuck for awhile...
Once I forgave myself, I was able to remain sober...
Don't let anything get in your way.
YOU can do this..:ghug2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Guelph, Ontario
Posts: 640
Thanks guys it means a lot for your support. Right now just went to addictions group it was good helpful. Killing more time before another group I'm going too. So two days down now starting day 3.
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