Complicated
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Complicated
Feeling incredibly low and unmotivated. I have to get my son to his cello lesson in a few minutes, go to my daughter's open mike night at a local cafe afterwards, and then go to a beef and beer -- a fundraiser and second one in three weeks, but I skipped the first. I know I won't drink at this one, because I don't want to lose the days I've worked so hard to earn (on day 19) and I've been running that tape through all day long. Tomorrow I've got to be at two soccer games and Sunday will be spent in the car driving my other son back to college -- 5 hours one way.
Thing is -- all I want to do is sleep. BUT I CAN'T!!! I'm too busy. Feel like I'm a hamster on a wheel. The world keeps spinning and I can't get off. Running every moment of every day, and I soooo want a break.
Thing is -- I'm kinda happy (because at least I'm making some progress lately), overwhelmed, stressed, down, and pretty darned lucky to have all that I do have -- ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to deal with all of these freaking emotions. I've been numbing for so long that I'm not too sure how...
I know I haven't conveyed what I'm feeling but needed to vent.
Thing is -- all I want to do is sleep. BUT I CAN'T!!! I'm too busy. Feel like I'm a hamster on a wheel. The world keeps spinning and I can't get off. Running every moment of every day, and I soooo want a break.
Thing is -- I'm kinda happy (because at least I'm making some progress lately), overwhelmed, stressed, down, and pretty darned lucky to have all that I do have -- ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to deal with all of these freaking emotions. I've been numbing for so long that I'm not too sure how...
I know I haven't conveyed what I'm feeling but needed to vent.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Venting always helps me.
Alot of times I dont need a response from anyone. I just need to let it out.
Hang in there. Hopefully things will slow daown a little and you can take a break.
Alot of times I dont need a response from anyone. I just need to let it out.
Hang in there. Hopefully things will slow daown a little and you can take a break.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Oh yes you have conveyed it very well L. We, moms, understand the demands of being the taxi service, the cook, the cleaner, the appointment keepers, the person that locks up the doors at night, makes the coffee for the next day, folds the last load of laundry, and then starts all over the next day. It can be so very overwhelming L and believe me when I say I know how you feel. I too numbed the stress out, but then I lacked the energy to complete the tasks at hand and then felt enormous guilt. Please, please, please do take time to do something just for YOU. You need to fill your cup every so often and then when you are overflowing it is so much easier to give with a happier heart. I do understand and wish I could give you a hug today. Here's a virtual hug though my dear. 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Ok........ running late. Well -- my son is, so I just got to read your responses. You all made me smile knowing you understand. I feel your love. REALLY.
I recognize the grips of depression and anxiety and I'm trying so hard to stay afloat -- without the booze, though.
I'll check in after the beef and beer. Don't want to stay long... just put in an appearance.
I recognize the grips of depression and anxiety and I'm trying so hard to stay afloat -- without the booze, though.
I'll check in after the beef and beer. Don't want to stay long... just put in an appearance.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Originally Posted by Horselover 
We, moms, understand the demands of being the taxi service, the cook, the cleaner, the appointment keepers, the person that locks up the doors at night, makes the coffee for the next day, folds the last load of laundry, and then starts all over the next day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Liz I hope you are able to either get some help taking care of this stuff or shelve a couple of activities. Early sobriety can be a very difficult time, and while it's great to be able to have all those things to do, I think it's important that you take time to rest and to nurture yourself. Your body is craving sleep by the sounds of it - I hope you heed the call soon enough.
I've had to learn to set different priorities in sobriety. Tonight my daughter and I are both tired so I'm skipping my meeting, she's skipping jiu-jitsu, and we are staying in to eat pizza and just chillax. I'll get to an extra meeting this weekend and she can go to her class tomorrow if she likes. Taking care of my mental and physical health is key.
I look forward to catching up when you check in later on.
I've had to learn to set different priorities in sobriety. Tonight my daughter and I are both tired so I'm skipping my meeting, she's skipping jiu-jitsu, and we are staying in to eat pizza and just chillax. I'll get to an extra meeting this weekend and she can go to her class tomorrow if she likes. Taking care of my mental and physical health is key.
I look forward to catching up when you check in later on.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
I too sometimes feel like a hamster on a wheel. A good way to put it, cause I feel like I'm running and running but not going anywhere.
Try to allow some 'down' time for yourself. EArly sobriety can be a bit rough so go easy on yourself.
Try to allow some 'down' time for yourself. EArly sobriety can be a bit rough so go easy on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 100
Oh I get ya buddy....
I feel the same way, plus I know all my friends are at the bar right now, and my partner will be having drinks tommorow night. So it'll be a nice evening of sitting completely alone, knowing everyone else is out having fun...
Think I might sleep all weekend... hahah!
On an upnote, my career is shifting up, so I guess I can't complain...
Yeah these emotions seem to hit us like a fish to the chops...
Just be proud of DAY 19!!
I feel the same way, plus I know all my friends are at the bar right now, and my partner will be having drinks tommorow night. So it'll be a nice evening of sitting completely alone, knowing everyone else is out having fun...
Think I might sleep all weekend... hahah!
On an upnote, my career is shifting up, so I guess I can't complain...
Yeah these emotions seem to hit us like a fish to the chops...
Just be proud of DAY 19!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,316
congrats on 19 days Liz :bounce
I dunno what to tell you - I'm not a parent but I know a little what it's like - often there is nothing to cut out when people are depending on you.
Sobriety is important - sure - but so are those who depend on us. It's a tough balancing act.
I think it's really important tho, like HL says, to fill your cup every so often...and vent here as much as you like
and bring me back some beef.
D
I dunno what to tell you - I'm not a parent but I know a little what it's like - often there is nothing to cut out when people are depending on you.
Sobriety is important - sure - but so are those who depend on us. It's a tough balancing act.
I think it's really important tho, like HL says, to fill your cup every so often...and vent here as much as you like
and bring me back some beef.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Liz,
I so understand *hugs*
I owe you an e mail too so I'll do that later tonight-I have some pics of Merlin you have to show your two goldies as well It won't change anything but it may make you smile and it sounds like anything that does is a good thing right now.
I'm proud of you for the 19 days.You and I have shared so many similar struggles on this journey.Your support of me has been such a godsend when I thought hardly anyone here understood me.I hope I'm offering the same to you too.
Hang in there and trite as it sometimes sounds-this WILL pass.I hope you make some time to do something just for you soon too.I know it makes a world of difference to me-even if it's something small.You're worth it.
I'm thinking of you and you know you can contact me anytime,
Much love,
Julesxox
I so understand *hugs*
I owe you an e mail too so I'll do that later tonight-I have some pics of Merlin you have to show your two goldies as well
It won't change anything but it may make you smile and it sounds like anything that does is a good thing right now.I'm proud of you for the 19 days.You and I have shared so many similar struggles on this journey.Your support of me has been such a godsend when I thought hardly anyone here understood me.I hope I'm offering the same to you too.
Hang in there and trite as it sometimes sounds-this WILL pass.I hope you make some time to do something just for you soon too.I know it makes a world of difference to me-even if it's something small.You're worth it.
I'm thinking of you and you know you can contact me anytime,
Much love,
Julesxox
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Hi New Leaf!
It is nice to "meet" you and congrats on the 19th days!
It's great to meet another overachieving alcoholic!
You are going to have to MAKE some time for you and for down time.
It is a REQUIREMENT to staying sober.
Do not let yourself too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
Your mind, body and spirit is going through so much right now. You have to take care of yourself.
I know exactly what you are going through. I was there 11 months ago.
You know what is a trip? I have learned how to take care of myself. Really take care of myself. And my family has gone through growing pains over it but we are all SO much better for it. My 9 year old daughter still whines sometimes over me going to "those meetings" or going to a yoga class. But she gets more of ME now than she ever did when I was home being super Mom, drunk off my ass.
One other piece of advice? Learn that No is a complete sentence and it is okay to use it, often. And make sure that you plan some time for yourself, ASAP. It would be nice if it was a whole afternoon, but even it is an hour in the bathtub, take some time for yourself!
:ghug2
It is nice to "meet" you and congrats on the 19th days!
It's great to meet another overachieving alcoholic!
You are going to have to MAKE some time for you and for down time.
It is a REQUIREMENT to staying sober.
Do not let yourself too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
Your mind, body and spirit is going through so much right now. You have to take care of yourself.
I know exactly what you are going through. I was there 11 months ago.
You know what is a trip? I have learned how to take care of myself. Really take care of myself. And my family has gone through growing pains over it but we are all SO much better for it. My 9 year old daughter still whines sometimes over me going to "those meetings" or going to a yoga class. But she gets more of ME now than she ever did when I was home being super Mom, drunk off my ass.
One other piece of advice? Learn that No is a complete sentence and it is okay to use it, often. And make sure that you plan some time for yourself, ASAP. It would be nice if it was a whole afternoon, but even it is an hour in the bathtub, take some time for yourself!
:ghug2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
I'm about to fade here, big time. Can hardly keep my eyes open... For all intense and purposes I'll be getting to bed at 1:30am, and I've got to be up in about four hours to get the soccer player to her games.
(((Ro))) So much for my recent goal setting, right? My getting to bed early.... lol Glad you took time to hang with your daughter!
Dee -- even though you're not a parent, you always seem to get what I'm trying to say and where I'm coming from.
Jules -- thanks for reminding me to send pictures of Reilly and Lucy. They still kinda smell good from last week's grooming.
Told you I was feeling a little more positive about making it longer this time. Hope things are going better in that respect for you too.
HL --You DO so totally get it, especially the part about the guilt.
Ken -- That picture really did make me feel better earlier this evening. I MEAN IT! I think I'll take another look, actually, before signing off.
And Anna...Don't think I'll be able to lessen the load just yet, but I will take time tomorrow to think about reordering my list of priorities. I promise you and Least I'll try to take some down time -- even if it's sitting (or snoozing) in my car between games.
Trish and Original -- I know I thanked you in your threads tonight (at least I think I did) but thanks again anyway.
You guys are awesome.
(((Ro))) So much for my recent goal setting, right? My getting to bed early.... lol Glad you took time to hang with your daughter!
Dee -- even though you're not a parent, you always seem to get what I'm trying to say and where I'm coming from.
Jules -- thanks for reminding me to send pictures of Reilly and Lucy. They still kinda smell good from last week's grooming.
Told you I was feeling a little more positive about making it longer this time. Hope things are going better in that respect for you too.HL --You DO so totally get it, especially the part about the guilt.
Ken -- That picture really did make me feel better earlier this evening. I MEAN IT! I think I'll take another look, actually, before signing off.
And Anna...Don't think I'll be able to lessen the load just yet, but I will take time tomorrow to think about reordering my list of priorities. I promise you and Least I'll try to take some down time -- even if it's sitting (or snoozing) in my car between games.
Trish and Original -- I know I thanked you in your threads tonight (at least I think I did) but thanks again anyway.
You guys are awesome.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: MD
Posts: 64
My goodness! It sounds like you are doing so much. No wonder you are tired, perhaps a little "you" time can be possible soon. I have to say I have a lot of energy and that is one of the best things in my life.
I blame it all on the vitamins I take, as cliche as that may sound. I did not believe in vitamins like, FOREVER! I thought if I ate well, I did not need vitamins. However, I am a changed woman.
I take GNC Active Womens Multi Pack and Be-Hot Excersize Enhancing pack. It has helped so much with my energy level, the Be Hot is brand new, it helps maximize your workouts.
Eating well and excersize are paramount to upping your energy level. Diet of veggies, fish, fruit, and whole grains will do wonders. I hike or run as much as possible, if you customize your workout to YOUR interests it can actually be fun. Swimming, tennis with your kids, whatever your "thing" is, excersizing will help your energy level.
I am a mother too, I completely understand running around for others all day long. If I don't have time to work out I throw in a couple jumping jacks or sit ups during the day. I figure I at LEAST have time to do 30 sit ups and that gets me going. While making dinner I have time to at least 10 plies. I fit in mini work outs wherever I can.
Good luck, take good and special care of yourself, and don't forget to treat yourself well.
Beach Angel
I blame it all on the vitamins I take, as cliche as that may sound. I did not believe in vitamins like, FOREVER! I thought if I ate well, I did not need vitamins. However, I am a changed woman.
I take GNC Active Womens Multi Pack and Be-Hot Excersize Enhancing pack. It has helped so much with my energy level, the Be Hot is brand new, it helps maximize your workouts.
Eating well and excersize are paramount to upping your energy level. Diet of veggies, fish, fruit, and whole grains will do wonders. I hike or run as much as possible, if you customize your workout to YOUR interests it can actually be fun. Swimming, tennis with your kids, whatever your "thing" is, excersizing will help your energy level.
I am a mother too, I completely understand running around for others all day long. If I don't have time to work out I throw in a couple jumping jacks or sit ups during the day. I figure I at LEAST have time to do 30 sit ups and that gets me going. While making dinner I have time to at least 10 plies. I fit in mini work outs wherever I can.
Good luck, take good and special care of yourself, and don't forget to treat yourself well.
Beach Angel
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 49
Yeah these emotions seem to hit us like a fish to the chops...[QUOTE]
I am pretty certain that I did not do the "quote thing" correctly but I have to acknowledge a great quote when I see one....great visual, it shall keep me going when next faced with a dilemma....LOL!
THANKS TO ORIGINAL FOR A DEEP HEARTFELT LAUGH...THANKS FOR THE POST...CONGRATS ON THE JOB
I am pretty certain that I did not do the "quote thing" correctly but I have to acknowledge a great quote when I see one....great visual, it shall keep me going when next faced with a dilemma....LOL!
THANKS TO ORIGINAL FOR A DEEP HEARTFELT LAUGH...THANKS FOR THE POST...CONGRATS ON THE JOB
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