stone

I think there is a mental attitude of recovery and I know when I have it and need to work on being able to get it back when I lose it because that is when I drink.

First of all is a committment to recover, then there is the willingness to do the necessary stuff, for me this involves practicing mindfulness, trying not to be judgemental, being compassionate, being less self-obsessed, thinking of others, being grateful for things, not dwelling on negatives, keeping busy and not being lazy, keeping things in the day but still planning things for the future.

I think that is the general mental approach I try to take on a good day, lol.

I would love to hear other peoples mental approaches to recovery......

Anna

I think you're right Stone. It takes daily work.

For me, it's about balance in my life. I do something physical, like going for a long walk. I spend time on SR. I spend time with myself quieting my mind by listening to music or reading. I try to manage the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of my life each day. It doesn't always work, but it's my goal.

Fubarcdn

I am working on tolerance, patience and empathy right now to improve my own personal level of contentment. I have always planned, perhaps to the point of overplanning, for the future so I agree that that is important for me.
I would add physical fitness to increase your mental attitude and self confidence and proper diet and other healthy lifestyle changes such as not smoking or taking in too much caffein so you will mentally feel you are treating your body right.

stone

Balance of mental, spiritual and physical makes sense, thanks Anna.

Tolerance! Good point Fubar. Also true about exercise being good for our mental state, amongst other things.

parentrecovers

be humble, stay grateful.

least

Self confidence is something I am sorely lacking. I am always working on accepting myself as I am and loving myself. It's hard work and I'm not always successful.

Aysha

I think where I fall short all the time is I get too comfortable. Not like I got it beat or under control. Just that I feel that the waters are calm and I dont need to stay on top of it kind of a thing.
I never stay commited to recovery as far as doing work. I have this idea that as some time goes on and I feel the obsession lift. That now it has all magically disappeared and now I can just live without thinking about addicton or recovery. And for me its so tiring to think about recovery as much as addiciton.
BUT..Thats when it all goes down hill. When I THINK I am in the clear. I need to accept I will never be in the clear and can relapse any moment if I am not aware of myself. No matter if I have a day or a a million days clean.
I am stuck with this for life. And I have a hard time accepting that.

Tazman53

All of the above to the best of my ability, the only thing I see left out and yet I know you all do daily is workiing with/helping others.

Basically I try and practice the spiritual principles I have leaned so far on a daily basis to amintain my spiritual fitness.

Toomutch

If everyday I could manage to work on and balance all the above, life would be grand...

mamabin

I have a long way to go. I haven't started exercising. I'm eating ok. I mean, I don't eat junk, but I'm not putting any effort into finding new and healthier things to eat. It takes alot of effort being vegan, and I'm just not putting in the effort. I thought I would have more energy. I thought not drinking would fix more things than it has.

I need to deal with my frustration. I'm fine with the person I am, but I am not fine with the rest of the world. I haven't found that place where I fit in. I guess that was part of my drinking. I have a problem with confomity and diversity. This world is too materialistic and selfish for me. People are too judgemental. Not caring. I can't find the balance. I try not to watch t.v., it's just so biased out there. People believe the media without really thinking for themselves. I have a huge problem with that.

four812

This thread has covered it all. A real Pump-me-upper.

I'll add "stay in today", although it's been covered with "mindfulness'.

thanks everyone

Tommyh

when I am grateful to be sober I really do not want to drink.Gratitude gives me a kind of energy and a love of sobriety.

Dee74

The only thing I'd add, and it's kinda been covered anyway, is perspective...drinking is not my life, and I am not drinking....paradoxically, an acceptance that I am an alcoholic helped a lot with that LOL.

I have so many more things I should be doing than drinking or thinking about it - and for me its not just keeping busy - helping others, like Taz says, is great...its a good and right way to live my life, not merely to stay sober.

I made a commitment with myself not to drink - sometimes that's easy, sometimes not - but every thing works back from that IMO.

D

sfgirl

For me, I would describe it differently. I don't want to say that "I am working" on this aspect or another because moving away from that mentality has been a key shift in my recovery.

Before I stopped drinking, I was constantly working to make my life better. I would change some aspect. I would try and work on a part of my personality or character that I thought was flawed. I was always working towards some end goal. And I never got there and would get all in a tizzy in my head. Life was always around the corner and not now.

I think the most important part of my recovery is my surrender. I have talked about this in other threads and it is hard for me to put it into words because I do not quite understand it. Surrender to whom? to what? I'm not sure. But when I quit drinking, I gave up on trying to fix myself and my life.

And in turn I have had major shifts happen in a lot of areas. I am more relaxed. And I sort of let things and changes come as they will. I don't beat myself up if I am too judgmental or if I don't go to the gym regularly because I have this sort of faith that if I keep going on track everything will workout for itself. And so far so good. Change doesn't happen over night. And I could not will change very well. Now, it is about letting out who I truly am, regardless of how others or society would like me to be. If I am doing something I don't like or seems "bad" I will notice it but I am done getting worked up over it. And I feel if I spend enough time noticing my behavior and understanding myself negative aspects slowly disappear. Although, of course, they cannot do so completely, because I am not perfect. It isn't really about creating a wholesome personality for myself but accepting and figuring out the one I was given.

So when I feel like I am working in my recovery, it is usually to try and banish those old thought patterns which die hard.

stone

Thanks everyone.

Sfgirl, I know where you are coming from and it is an interesting point. I find if I am living in the moment (mindfulness), which really is my main thing right now then I feel like you describe, it is a sort of surrendered state, a state of acceptance.

I am not striving to be a different person, I have always felt like I was doing that all my life too and it never worked.

Somehow bringing mindfulness into things lets me see my behaviour at the moment and alter it if I feel the need but it isn't like I have this goal of attaining some kind of wonderful, shiny personality in the future. I just try to adjust certain things right now, in the present moment.

Laziness is an obvious example, when I notice the lazy attitude I just think, "you are being lazy, just do it", I am not down on myself about it though. Also, sometimes I do let myself be lazy and sometimes I might not be mindful enough to notice I am being lazy, I am not perfect and that's ok.

stone

Thanks Trish, I know exactly what you mean.