Leaving for now
Resident Awesome Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
Leaving for now
Everyone,
I am leaving SR for a while. I have relapsed too many times and I feel I am doing you all a disservice by coming here again and again after failing. I started Antabuse yesterday and I am not going to show my face on this site till I have at least 30 days to 6 months sober. I thank you all for the kind words and the love I could feel through your posts, but I am just tired of bringing the board down. I will be hopefully be back better than ever. See you all again.
Chris
I am leaving SR for a while. I have relapsed too many times and I feel I am doing you all a disservice by coming here again and again after failing. I started Antabuse yesterday and I am not going to show my face on this site till I have at least 30 days to 6 months sober. I thank you all for the kind words and the love I could feel through your posts, but I am just tired of bringing the board down. I will be hopefully be back better than ever. See you all again.
Chris
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 602
C23...I don't feel that you are bringing the board down.
Right now I only have 6 days in...I've relapsed many times.
There have been times when I had a few and was sitting here on the board reading away. Now mind you, I didn't say much because maybe I was embarrassed.
But I can't bring myself to stay away from here and I don't think you should either.
Again, even though I have 6 days in...I can't promise anymore time than today.
This is all I have is today, who knows what tomorrow will bring.
I really don't think you should check out yet or even at all.
As long as you keep trying, that is all that matters.
You are apart of us, apart of our family.
I really don't want to see you go...even if its for 30 days or more.
Please reconsider your decision.
I hope you stay no matter what happens.
:ghug3
XOXO
Right now I only have 6 days in...I've relapsed many times.
There have been times when I had a few and was sitting here on the board reading away. Now mind you, I didn't say much because maybe I was embarrassed.
But I can't bring myself to stay away from here and I don't think you should either.
Again, even though I have 6 days in...I can't promise anymore time than today.
This is all I have is today, who knows what tomorrow will bring.
I really don't think you should check out yet or even at all.
As long as you keep trying, that is all that matters.
You are apart of us, apart of our family.
I really don't want to see you go...even if its for 30 days or more.
Please reconsider your decision.
I hope you stay no matter what happens.
:ghug3
XOXO
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 49
Hi Chris! I see you are of the January class, I am in the March class, 14 days sober today. I do not have a wealth of info to share on sobriety at this point but I certainly do on relapses. I have just started going to AA meetings and even the old timers can contribute to "going out" AND coming back and starting all over again. The one and probably most important thing I have learned thus far is that you can always come back but the important thing is to come back. Especially here at SR, I sign in for the nightly chat meetings and there are many things shared, people who have gone out and come back a day later and there is nothing but support, no judgement. I think the most important thing that you and only you can answer is " do you want to stop drinking"? I took for granted that I had "free choice" in the matter and I would do it when...when..?
There is always a disturbing thought process for an alcoholic like ourselves, a good day and a reward, a bad day and you dont want to deal. You know, those situations are a part of life and can be managed without picking up that drink. I have read some of your posts and there is a reason you are here and you should remain. I do hope that you will give this decision of yours some thought! I truly wish you the best!
There is always a disturbing thought process for an alcoholic like ourselves, a good day and a reward, a bad day and you dont want to deal. You know, those situations are a part of life and can be managed without picking up that drink. I have read some of your posts and there is a reason you are here and you should remain. I do hope that you will give this decision of yours some thought! I truly wish you the best!
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I am the relapse poster child. I pretty much held newcomers hostage with my whining and self pity for the last couple weeks. So your not alone. Antabuse is good and all. But what about support? I believe we all need others to correspond with in times like this.
We are here to help and share. This is not an "I got my **** together and everything is lollipops and gumdrops" forum.
This is what we are here for.
Use it.
We are here to help and share. This is not an "I got my **** together and everything is lollipops and gumdrops" forum.
This is what we are here for.
Use it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hey C23!
I really know how you feel. I won't go in to the whys and wherefores now, but I posted a thread entitled "The gift of Desperation" last Oct which explains my mindset at that time. Anyways, I just wanted to add my 2 cents...I have been on Antabuse and it has helped me do what I was unable to do for myself. I think that you will find, after a period of "forced abstinence", you will be able to stand on your own. At least, this is what happened to me. But although Antabuse can force you into abstinence, it does nothing for the cravings or the resultant emotional roller coaster of early sobriety. FOR THAT REASON, please stick around! The beauty of SR is that you can talk and read about others' issues and not feel alone in this struggle.
Stay, Please?:ghug3
I really know how you feel. I won't go in to the whys and wherefores now, but I posted a thread entitled "The gift of Desperation" last Oct which explains my mindset at that time. Anyways, I just wanted to add my 2 cents...I have been on Antabuse and it has helped me do what I was unable to do for myself. I think that you will find, after a period of "forced abstinence", you will be able to stand on your own. At least, this is what happened to me. But although Antabuse can force you into abstinence, it does nothing for the cravings or the resultant emotional roller coaster of early sobriety. FOR THAT REASON, please stick around! The beauty of SR is that you can talk and read about others' issues and not feel alone in this struggle.
Stay, Please?:ghug3
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Chris I know you may not beleive this, but I need you here as well as everyone else needs you here. For me you take me back to where I was when I was trying to stop drinking and stay stopped, you remind me of where I was at and that helps me to stay where I am at right now.
You also help others when you share what has worked for you and what has not worked for you.
You are not alone, being alone makes the possibilty of relapse even greater, I know that the last 5 years of my drinking were done alone, so in early sobriety me being alone was the worst place I could be, this is one of the reasons why I went to at least one AA meeting every day, just to where I would not be alone, but instead I was among people who had been right where I was at then and had found a solution for their drinking problem. They gave me hope then and still do.
One interesting thing I have found in the program has been that working the steps has allowed me to come to a point in my sobriety where I can be completely alone and at peace with the world and myself, this took time & work, but it is an absolutely awesome experience to be alone and not thinking about my past or worried about my future.... today I can just BE and that is a good thing.
Hang around there may be something one person says that may be just what you need to get over the hump & you may very well say what helps some one else get over the hump.
You also help others when you share what has worked for you and what has not worked for you.
You are not alone, being alone makes the possibilty of relapse even greater, I know that the last 5 years of my drinking were done alone, so in early sobriety me being alone was the worst place I could be, this is one of the reasons why I went to at least one AA meeting every day, just to where I would not be alone, but instead I was among people who had been right where I was at then and had found a solution for their drinking problem. They gave me hope then and still do.
One interesting thing I have found in the program has been that working the steps has allowed me to come to a point in my sobriety where I can be completely alone and at peace with the world and myself, this took time & work, but it is an absolutely awesome experience to be alone and not thinking about my past or worried about my future.... today I can just BE and that is a good thing.
Hang around there may be something one person says that may be just what you need to get over the hump & you may very well say what helps some one else get over the hump.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
SR is another tool to use when working
my program. Having people around u at
a face to face meeting where u can
hear and see those that r speaking is
what i need to help me also stay sober.
Like many have said, u dont have to
go thru recovery alone.
There is a guy that speaks frequently
at one of my meetings that shares
about how many slip chips he picked
up before he finally began to collect
a few days at a time together to get
him where he is today. Clean and sober
for 18 yrs.
Sometimes it takes a number of slips
before someone will finally undertand
what the program of recovery is all
about.
After people get a small taste of recovery
they realize that if thet return back out,
that it definitely screws up their drinking
career.
It just will never be the same.
Hope u stay in SR.
my program. Having people around u at
a face to face meeting where u can
hear and see those that r speaking is
what i need to help me also stay sober.
Like many have said, u dont have to
go thru recovery alone.
There is a guy that speaks frequently
at one of my meetings that shares
about how many slip chips he picked
up before he finally began to collect
a few days at a time together to get
him where he is today. Clean and sober
for 18 yrs.
Sometimes it takes a number of slips
before someone will finally undertand
what the program of recovery is all
about.
After people get a small taste of recovery
they realize that if thet return back out,
that it definitely screws up their drinking
career.
It just will never be the same.
Hope u stay in SR.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Amarillo, Texas
Posts: 49
C23,
I new here and don't think you should leave. I come here every day, I may post, I may not. But I loved reading everyone’s post. I get many different sides on the issues. Stay and at least be a lurker. Some one may write something you may need.
Just my thoughts.
Tuco
I new here and don't think you should leave. I come here every day, I may post, I may not. But I loved reading everyone’s post. I get many different sides on the issues. Stay and at least be a lurker. Some one may write something you may need.
Just my thoughts.
Tuco
A new dawn and new chapter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
I know how you feel. I was on and off this site for a couple years. When I was serious about getting sober I would come here and post, but as soon as I relapsed I would leave thinking I didn't belong here as long as I kept running off and drinking. But looking back if I used this site more wisely instead of just abandoning it at first sign of trouble I might just have a longer sobriety time today. So I hope you reconsider.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Hey Chris.
Don't know if you remember but we came here on the same day or close to it back in January.
If you don't feel comfortable on the main board because you feel you might hinder someone come and post in the class of January support. We have had a few slip a few times and keep coming back and we support them each time. Some may accuse our class of being enablers but we collectively feel that this is the way we are.
Please do not leave SR as others have said the site is all about support for those of us who are struggling.
If you do decide you must take a break make it for the 30 days and not the longer time frame and don't forget to take your antabuse.
Good luck.
Don't know if you remember but we came here on the same day or close to it back in January.
If you don't feel comfortable on the main board because you feel you might hinder someone come and post in the class of January support. We have had a few slip a few times and keep coming back and we support them each time. Some may accuse our class of being enablers but we collectively feel that this is the way we are.
Please do not leave SR as others have said the site is all about support for those of us who are struggling.
If you do decide you must take a break make it for the 30 days and not the longer time frame and don't forget to take your antabuse.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Chris - I hope you will reconsider leaving SR. Drifting away from your support system will do nothing but make this struggle harder on you IMO. Stay with us, we need you too...Coming here and sharing when life become's hectic and out of control helps so much.
If you decide to leave we will look forward to hearing from you again... God Bless.
If you decide to leave we will look forward to hearing from you again... God Bless.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Now is the time you need SR and the love, support and friendly pushes from those who have been there and done that, and have "relapsed time after time. The struggles of all here are just as important, maybe more so than the victories over the demons.
You leaving will not only leave a big hole in your life and battle with your problem, it will leave a big hole for us as well.
Please give it another thought and I hope you decide to stay with it.
God bless you
You leaving will not only leave a big hole in your life and battle with your problem, it will leave a big hole for us as well.
Please give it another thought and I hope you decide to stay with it.
God bless you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Smithfield, VA
Posts: 521
C23, bro, I hope you get a chance to read this. At the risk of sounding redundant, stick around bro. Even if you have slipped up it's okay, no one's perfect. Stick around. All the support you can get is definitely needed and a huge help. A lot of us here care about you and want to support and help you succeed. This life and no one in it is perfect, we're all gonna f**k up from time to time but if we keep trying to make it better it's not a loss at all. We just have to learn from it so we can make a new approach to making it through the obstacle in our way. So, I hope you choose to stay around here instead and keep on trying to hang in there the best you can.
Wes
Wes
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