What would you do?
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Well..I put 7 applications in. I hit every hotel I saw from here to the one that was advertised for hire.
I just attempted the call. Her voice mail. I didnt leave a message because I want to speak to her. I dont want to leave a message and leave it in her hands.
I will try again later when I think she will be in her office.
It has nothing to do with working steps. And I feel this is something that should have been done already. I dont feel waiting to call any longer would be a good idea. Its not like it is a friend or a family member. I only worked there a short time. And its just to own up for my wrong. Nothing more.
Thx everyone.
I just attempted the call. Her voice mail. I didnt leave a message because I want to speak to her. I dont want to leave a message and leave it in her hands.
I will try again later when I think she will be in her office.
It has nothing to do with working steps. And I feel this is something that should have been done already. I dont feel waiting to call any longer would be a good idea. Its not like it is a friend or a family member. I only worked there a short time. And its just to own up for my wrong. Nothing more.
Thx everyone.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Dang yall..I really feel good today. Happy and hopeful.
I feel like my old self again. Thank goodness. The depressing Trish is no fun and pretty pitiful.
Tried calling again. But no answer. I will try again in the morning when I know she is at her desk. When all the boards are out and she is there just doin comouter work. Good Plan.
I always sing this in the shower..I always have..I dont know why. But I do..I FEEL GOOOD!!
I feel like my old self again. Thank goodness. The depressing Trish is no fun and pretty pitiful.
Tried calling again. But no answer. I will try again in the morning when I know she is at her desk. When all the boards are out and she is there just doin comouter work. Good Plan.
I always sing this in the shower..I always have..I dont know why. But I do..I FEEL GOOOD!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 58
I think its a good choice to call her. But, I would also say, don't let this thing bother you as much as it seems to be. If she doesnt answer her phone, I wouldnt wait around and let it affect my day and moving on with my life. Just try again after a few days or a week and if she still doesnt answer than I leave a voice mail explaining myself and move on.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I am too scared to call again today. UUUGGHH>
I am juts goin to call later and leave the message. And probably better to just go ahead and leave it in her hands whether she wants to call back or not.
I keep dreaming and obsessing about this. I dont know why.
I will just leave a message saying that I apologize and that if she would like she can call me back and that I would like for her to call me back. Then its out of my hands and I can stop being such a freak over this.
IOP appt set April 9th.
I am juts goin to call later and leave the message. And probably better to just go ahead and leave it in her hands whether she wants to call back or not.
I keep dreaming and obsessing about this. I dont know why.
I will just leave a message saying that I apologize and that if she would like she can call me back and that I would like for her to call me back. Then its out of my hands and I can stop being such a freak over this.
IOP appt set April 9th.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Oh yes..Here it is..The rest of the financial reprecussions of my last run.
When will I learn? I have a speeding ticket I got while out on my self destruct mission for $210 due in 2 weeks. And also DMV is making me pay $375 because I have accumulated over 6 points in an 18 month period. Due in 3 weeks. I have no job. The job market is almost nil. I sure as heck cant borrow any money. I am so screwed here. I will more than likely lose my license now and end up having to pay even more to get it back. My inspection is due this month. I dig deeper and deeper everytime.
Money is both my trigger and my biggest stresser. Everything is about money.
I feel sick.
When will I learn? I have a speeding ticket I got while out on my self destruct mission for $210 due in 2 weeks. And also DMV is making me pay $375 because I have accumulated over 6 points in an 18 month period. Due in 3 weeks. I have no job. The job market is almost nil. I sure as heck cant borrow any money. I am so screwed here. I will more than likely lose my license now and end up having to pay even more to get it back. My inspection is due this month. I dig deeper and deeper everytime.
Money is both my trigger and my biggest stresser. Everything is about money.
I feel sick.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish)))
I totally understand on both counts..calling the boss AND the money thing. My relapse cost me close to $4000....in 8 days. Part of that was my brand new laptop, which was stolen.
I don't know what to tell you. I was lucky...dad covered my a$$ because I started working with him (on my 2nd job) and I went back to work 3 weeks later. I do remember, though, before I decided to go the restaurant I work at now, applying for a zillion jobs and feeling like I was NEVER going to get a job..I must have applied for 50 online, in addition to all those in person. I prayed a LOT!
One more thing about my old boss. She is the type, who if you make her mad, will hold a grudge FOREVER. I still go to that restaurant, as my friend, Desirae works there, and I used to pick her up and take her home. I ran into my old boss, one morning as I was picking up Des. I said "hi" to my old boss, and talked to her as I normally did. I then asked if I could talk to her, in her office.
I apologized to her, and was honest about what happened (she knows all about my history, as I was locked up when she hired me). I told her that I honestly felt worse about letting HER down, than my dad, as I could make it up to my dad, on a daily basis, but the only way I could make it up to HER, was to do the best job I can, at the restaurant I'm at...she asked if I was doing that, and I said "yes". To this day, I think I am the only person, who has ever made her REALLY angry and she has forgiven me...she sees me and gives me a hug. I didn't do this right away, but it was something I felt I owed her. Just something to keep in the back of your mind, okay?
Hang in there, sweetie. I know it's tough and it sucks. The consequences we bring on ourselves just get worse and worse. I think I just got tired of dealing with the f'ing consequences, in all honesty, and that's what led me to recovery...whatever works, right?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I totally understand on both counts..calling the boss AND the money thing. My relapse cost me close to $4000....in 8 days. Part of that was my brand new laptop, which was stolen.
I don't know what to tell you. I was lucky...dad covered my a$$ because I started working with him (on my 2nd job) and I went back to work 3 weeks later. I do remember, though, before I decided to go the restaurant I work at now, applying for a zillion jobs and feeling like I was NEVER going to get a job..I must have applied for 50 online, in addition to all those in person. I prayed a LOT!
One more thing about my old boss. She is the type, who if you make her mad, will hold a grudge FOREVER. I still go to that restaurant, as my friend, Desirae works there, and I used to pick her up and take her home. I ran into my old boss, one morning as I was picking up Des. I said "hi" to my old boss, and talked to her as I normally did. I then asked if I could talk to her, in her office.
I apologized to her, and was honest about what happened (she knows all about my history, as I was locked up when she hired me). I told her that I honestly felt worse about letting HER down, than my dad, as I could make it up to my dad, on a daily basis, but the only way I could make it up to HER, was to do the best job I can, at the restaurant I'm at...she asked if I was doing that, and I said "yes". To this day, I think I am the only person, who has ever made her REALLY angry and she has forgiven me...she sees me and gives me a hug. I didn't do this right away, but it was something I felt I owed her. Just something to keep in the back of your mind, okay?
Hang in there, sweetie. I know it's tough and it sucks. The consequences we bring on ourselves just get worse and worse. I think I just got tired of dealing with the f'ing consequences, in all honesty, and that's what led me to recovery...whatever works, right?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I am tired and exhausted. I cant do this anymore.
When does it effect me enough to finally stop the BS?
I mean for goodness sake..Over the years I ahve lost so much and started over so many times. Almost died countless times. Locked up hurt myself, my family. What does it take to make me say enough.
Hopefully this timewill be it.
I am getting too old for this ****. i am over the street adrenaline chaotic crap.
I dont care whats goin on over there or who's doing what and all that anymore.
I am so sick of it all I just want to forget everything and everyone I have ever met out there. I cant my brother tho.Not my real brother. And there are one or two others that I met out there that I still keep in contact with. And have known for a very long time. These are people that are like family and want me to get it together too. I have even considered detaching from them too. But I cant do it.
I am goin to social services when I can get enough gas to get there and apply for temporary assistance and they help you find a job when you get that service.
As much as I hate to do it. I have no choice at this point.
Sucks living in a huge county in the middle of nowhere because everything is so far away.
I will not sit here and feel sorry for myself. I did it to myself. I cant say I deserve it. But I definately need to own up and do what I have to do. It happened. there aint **** I can do about it except take care of it. Worrying as hard as it is not to. Isnt goin to do anything except make me crazy.
I did however get a call back from an online work at home employer I applied to. they are not hiring as of right now but have put me on the waiting list. I am filling all the paperwork out now.
Just do the right thing and everything else will work itself out..Right?
When does it effect me enough to finally stop the BS?
I mean for goodness sake..Over the years I ahve lost so much and started over so many times. Almost died countless times. Locked up hurt myself, my family. What does it take to make me say enough.
Hopefully this timewill be it.
I am getting too old for this ****. i am over the street adrenaline chaotic crap.
I dont care whats goin on over there or who's doing what and all that anymore.
I am so sick of it all I just want to forget everything and everyone I have ever met out there. I cant my brother tho.Not my real brother. And there are one or two others that I met out there that I still keep in contact with. And have known for a very long time. These are people that are like family and want me to get it together too. I have even considered detaching from them too. But I cant do it.
I am goin to social services when I can get enough gas to get there and apply for temporary assistance and they help you find a job when you get that service.
As much as I hate to do it. I have no choice at this point.
Sucks living in a huge county in the middle of nowhere because everything is so far away.
I will not sit here and feel sorry for myself. I did it to myself. I cant say I deserve it. But I definately need to own up and do what I have to do. It happened. there aint **** I can do about it except take care of it. Worrying as hard as it is not to. Isnt goin to do anything except make me crazy.
I did however get a call back from an online work at home employer I applied to. they are not hiring as of right now but have put me on the waiting list. I am filling all the paperwork out now.
Just do the right thing and everything else will work itself out..Right?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Originally Posted by chiynita 
I am tired and exhausted. I cant do this anymore.
When does it effect me enough to finally stop the BS?
When does it effect me enough to finally stop the BS?
Originally Posted by chiynita
Just do the right thing and everything else will work itself out..Right?
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Well...I left a message. Told her I felt I owed her a huge apology and somewhat of an explanation. I would like to talk to her but if she doesnt want to call me back I comepletely understand. And thats it. My part is done as far as I am concerned.
Timew to move on and focus on what I need to do to make all this right again elsewher. Where it counts more. Recovery. How I am goin to stay there this time.
I am really stressing on the job thing. But like always. Eventually ...somehting will give.
I struggle with patience alot. I need to practice it more often. And accepting I cant make certain things happen. Especially ones out of my control.
Right now at this very moment I have evrything I need to survive.
Maybe a little lapse in employment will help me stay focused on recovery. If I lose my license. I cant go to the spots. Perception. Its all in my perception.
Again..The best words I heard lately. I will not be a victim. Not of my own doing. Thats for sure.
Timew to move on and focus on what I need to do to make all this right again elsewher. Where it counts more. Recovery. How I am goin to stay there this time.
I am really stressing on the job thing. But like always. Eventually ...somehting will give.
I struggle with patience alot. I need to practice it more often. And accepting I cant make certain things happen. Especially ones out of my control.
Right now at this very moment I have evrything I need to survive.
Maybe a little lapse in employment will help me stay focused on recovery. If I lose my license. I cant go to the spots. Perception. Its all in my perception.
Again..The best words I heard lately. I will not be a victim. Not of my own doing. Thats for sure.
lunarlovelunar
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 674
HUGE :ghug3
Have I mentioned that I think
I think its great that you are taking the time to do this. I hope that she calls back and that you get to say what you feel ya need to.
I know this may sound weird but I remember one time when I was hurting financially and I knew I had some things coming up that I just couldn't cover. I decided to try and positive my way through it. I did everything in my power to come up with the money while keeping in my head that whatever happens...things will be fine....the money will be here or it wont...I am doing what I can.....I will not perish if I dont come up with this money. I have issues I am realizing while writing this that I guess I am afraid of money....not having enough and having too much...hmm something for me to look into...thanks for helping me learn something new....
:ghug3
Have I mentioned that I think
I think its great that you are taking the time to do this. I hope that she calls back and that you get to say what you feel ya need to.
I know this may sound weird but I remember one time when I was hurting financially and I knew I had some things coming up that I just couldn't cover. I decided to try and positive my way through it. I did everything in my power to come up with the money while keeping in my head that whatever happens...things will be fine....the money will be here or it wont...I am doing what I can.....I will not perish if I dont come up with this money. I have issues I am realizing while writing this that I guess I am afraid of money....not having enough and having too much...hmm something for me to look into...thanks for helping me learn something new....
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish)))
I am NOT a patient person, but darned if I haven't had to learn it anyway. I absolutely HATE being in limbo...even more when I put myself there.
There aren't any shortcuts...we just gotta do that left foot, right foot, repeat thing. I'm glad the fighter in you is back
I knew it wouldn't be long.
Something will work out..it always does, as long as you're doing the right thing, and you know it. You're attitude is improving by the day, and that's half the battle.
Hugs, prayers and love!!
Amy
I am NOT a patient person, but darned if I haven't had to learn it anyway. I absolutely HATE being in limbo...even more when I put myself there.
There aren't any shortcuts...we just gotta do that left foot, right foot, repeat thing. I'm glad the fighter in you is back
I knew it wouldn't be long.Something will work out..it always does, as long as you're doing the right thing, and you know it. You're attitude is improving by the day, and that's half the battle.
Hugs, prayers and love!!
Amy
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