How do you nurture your sobriety?
 

I now have a few months without drinking and am finding that my thinking about being sober gets lax some times - like I am kind of getting used to being sober but also know the urges still hit. I have a few things I try to do regularly - using SR a lot, reading some particular books that feel real supportive, talking with 2 specific people who are my support system about drinking, writing in my journal..

I want to know what others do to support and nurture their sobriety. I am not in any f2f groups and am not looking for that particular kind of support right now (have tried it numerous times)..

As I grow into these sober days I am finding that this way of living is quite a treasure and I want to nurture it, support it, and keep from losing it!

You all here at SR have been a big support to me - really huge in keeping me on this journey.

Thanks!
KB

Sounds like you're doing pretty well by using literature and SR, I depend on those things too to nurture my sobriety, they're an addition to my 12 Step program in AA.

I'm pretty relentless with myself about recovery, it's almost a 24/7 commitment for me. Each day begins with a small pile of meditation books while I eat breakfast, then I'm off to work where I spend any free time I have on SR. In the afternoons I take in a meeting and do service work. Prayer time for me is any time during the day when I feel the need. Go to bed sober, wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. It's worked for quite awhile now so I haven't felt the need to change my routine.

I think it's great that you're aware of the urges that hit when you're "lax". I've always felt that if I see myself moving in the direction of a drink, I can take the necessary action to get re-centered and focused on my sobriety.

Thank you for your thoughtful posts and inspiration!

Hi Kindbird,

I have found that balance is the key to my sobriety.

I try to get some kind of exercise every day, walking outside if possible. I try to spend some 'alone time' every day. I know that the peace and quiet are crucial to me. I spend time on SR every day, and am usually reading something that helps me in a spiritual way.

Congratulations KB ...good to know your doing well...:yup:

Sorry...my sucessful recovery may not benefit you
but I share in hopes someone else will be helped.

I stay connected to God...AA....SR
I find helping another keeps me moving forward.

For me mostly just waking up in the morning without a hangover is all I need to remind me how grateful I am for my sobriety and how proud I am of myself. Sharing at meetings or just with co-workers or friends also lifts me up tremendously. My co-workers mostly weren't aware of my alcoholism but most all know that I am now in recovery because yes I do brag about it!

Within just a couple of months of getting sober I was offered the opportunity to do the administrative work for a group that is essentially AA and NA for professionals within the particular professional sector that I work in. We get referrals from the State Board for people applying for licenses in the profession that have past DUI's, PI, violent acts ect. and in order for them to sit for the exams to obtain their license they have to meet with one of the volunteers in the program. The volunteers in the program are all recovering addicts/alcoholics etc who are themselves professionals in this field. I was and still am very proud to have been offered the opportunity because I could not do this work if I was still drinking. Working with this group is an ongoing reminder of how far I've come and I am not going backwards.

Congrats on your New Life. I have to admit, away from my normal forum, that I do not nurture my recovery. If truth, I beat my recovery regularly. Yes, I understand the consequences for my actions could be, well, terrible, but when my recovery gets out of line, I whoop the hell out of it, send it to it's room and refuse to give it dinner. I do not recommend this pattern of behavior to anyone, but you see I am completely powerless in this regard. :)

Before I started drinking I was really into fitness.. Love lifting weights and going for walks. Now that I'm not hungover or tired all the time I can go back to my hobbies.. Has been very rewarding.

Thanks for all your replies. This is really helping me see where I am and what else is there for me as this journey continues.

I do appreciate all the sobriety points from the AA side too - hope my original post did not seem off-putting to those in AA. I get so much wisdom from those in AA who share here on SR.

:ghug

I remind myself daily that I am an alcoholic and I ask God daily to continue to give me the power to stay sober another day and when I am presented with an opportunity to do His will I will be able to see it and have the power to do it. I meditate in the mornings and pray. I read recovery literature almost daily. I come to SR

I work with other alcoholics to help them maintain or find sobriety. I do things with my family and friends. I try to always keep my side of the street clean by making amends as soon as I realize I have wronged some one. I help others when ever the opportunity presents itself.

I eat well, I relax. I thank God nightly for another day of sobriety & I go over my day reflecting on it, seeing what I have done well, what I need to work on, & to see if I owe amends to anyone.

I go to meetings 3-4 times a week. The urges have been gone for a very long time now, it is rarely even a fleeting thought.

Kindbird you did not put me off at all, all programs & individuals in recovery have similar methods of recovery they all share.

I learn a great deal from non AA folks both in and out of recovery. In AA people are encouraged to seek out all methods to help one in recovery. That is one of the great things about meetings, getting to share with others all kinds of different literature and activities.

Humble Pie
 

There are days even though I have been clean and sober for quite awhile I find myself alone with me. This can be a scary neighborhood.
I have a routine, things that I do on a daily basis that normally take me out of myself and put me in the right frame of mind. Then there are days were I just have to sit on my hands.

I ponder these off days and try hard to focus on the cause, for it is days like these that I have to be careful.
One thing I know is I go through burnout in my job and I have to let it go when I'm unable to save the world. I have to remind myself that the success rate in this field will never come close to 100%.

Another reason I think is when someone doesn't see things my way and I get angry. The danger is it creeps up on me and then bang I realize a resentment has been building.
This happens sometimes when I am trying to wave the AA/NA banner, thinking that people are not getting it unless they are doing these programs.

On days like this I wake up, pray, read the daily medetations, eat, pray some more and still feel lost in self. The phone, the big book, the Bible, all seem like they weigh 500 lbs. Making the choice to pick up a drink or drug is not an option, for this is choosing death. Therefore my only option is to find the root of the problem and it always boils down to three words everytime;
"losing my humility!!" I'm either not getting what I want, or, getting what I don't want which is normally some "Humble Pie."

Please don't roast me for saying this. Just a question/observation of mine.. Whatever recovery method that works for people is good for them..

But isn't going to meetings 3-4 days a week still letting alcohol govern your life?

Me, I accepted I had a drinking problem, separated myself from that past and moved on.. Now again, I know that isn't right for everyone, just an observation..

Everytime I want a drink I reflect on my past and it keeps me sober. I am a new person, reborn to make postive decisions not involving drinking and raising trouble like my past. Do what makes you feel proud and not regreat anything.

AA is not the only way but for me it saved my life. So I go to meetings to try and give back what I was freely given. My hat is off to those that find other ways. For me through trial and error I found anytime I let up on the principals of AA I start backsliding. I truly believe that I am powerless over alcohol and that I have a healthy fear of it.

I chose to stop experimenting many years ago.

"The result was nil untill we let go absolutely."

I look at it as taking out an insurance policy on my sobriety, at the whopping price of $1 per day or more if I can afford it. Not to say that it guarantees I'll stay sober, it just puts the tools of the program in front of my face. It's up to me whether to use them or not.

As each day passes, it seems to be more about living a good life, not so much nurturing my sobriety.

I am trying to maintain a simple, balanced approach to life:

Physically - good sleep, exercise everyday, better nutrition
Mentally - reading, leaning from others, keeping an open mind
Spiritually - prayer, mediation, AA meetings (to grow spiritually, stay grounded, and help other alcoholics), practicing spiritual principles on a daily basis (eg. kindness, compassion, patience, honesty, gratitude)

It may sound like a lot but it isn't really. Most of my day is spent living life - working, trying to be a good dad & husband, being there for my family & friends.

I also think that it is important to be kind to myself, to relax and have fun -everything doesn't have to be about "recovery" - eg. take time off from work just to relax, concerts, football games, fishing, visiting friends, movies, night's out with my wife/friends, etc.

Keep at it! I'm sure that you will find what works best for you. Best wishes!

Many thanks to Gravity for that post - it jumped off the page at me! I am just under 4 weeks sober, but have suddenly realised that I am all out of balance. I have been working and working - perhaps as a way of not thinking about drink? - but now it is time to find time for the good things in life as well - like exercise, spirutual growth, learning, and just being!

I want to try and introduce some new routines and behaviours. Maybe try some meditation as a way of calming my day. Anyway, thanks again.

DB

I used to think the exact same thing - or rather, such meetings would be an incredible amount of time to commit to in order to stop drinking. But that was when I was drinking and before I decided to stop.

I've only been sober since the start of February and joined AA about the same time. When I decided that I wanted to stop drinking for good (rather than one or two months), the decision was a bit overwhelming. Stopping for one month was easy - like being asked to tread water for 3 hours in a pool. Stopping for good was scary - like being dumped in the Atlantic and not having any clue when you might be picked up or not.

I had a good friend whom I knew had been sober for 10 + years and understood he went to about 3 AA meetings a week. At the time, I thought "well, I am glad AA helped him get sober, and he is a great guy etc but honestly I could just not imagine myself going to 2 or 3 meetings a week! What a shame he needs to do that in order to remain sober..." When he suggested I accompany him to an AA meeting in response to my question, I also thought "well, he's a great guy but my impression of AA is that the meeting will be mostly burnt-out losers moaning about their problems. What the Hell does that have to do with me?" Anyways , I agreed to accompany him.

As far as I was concerned, I had never had a rock-bottom experience, drank only 1 to 2 times per week (down from 2-3 times), never "craved it" and did not drink at home or in the mornings like I heard some people did. My concern was that incredibly annoyingly persistent one in five times when I would end up over-drinking in a one-nighter regardless of what my original intention had been earlier that evening. ("just a few drinks, and I'll be home soon, honey"). Partial black-outs and sometimes plain crazy judgment calls.

My first AA meeting dispelled all my negative stereotypes. I met other professionals like myself (and my friend) and they were far from being burnt-out ... more like energetic and happy. Also, very supportive. I realized my problem was not so unique and that even though mine was not a problem every single time my lips touched booze, it was a problem that unchecked would lead to one of those 'rock bottom' stories.

What about the problematic issue of attending 2 to 3 meetings per week? Well, once I realized and accepted my problem, my mind did another instant calculation ...

• Time spent drinking 1-2 times per week: 4 - 12 hours
• Time spent attending 2-3 AA meetings/wk: 2 - 3 hours

Factor in time or efficiency lost to hangovers, and the gap becomes even larger. For anyone who drinks more frequently than I did, I am certain the math will prove even more in favor of the meetings.

And, it's not just the matter of time. You questioned whether attending the meeting was allowing alcohol govern one's life ... well, in my case, I realized how subtly I allowed my priority on social drinking to govern my life. I recently was invited to apply for an adjunct teaching position at major university that I am now considering. Previously I would have rejected it immediately out of hand as there was no way I could ever see myself give up my Thursday or Friday evenings for after-hours drinking. Only now do I see how short-sighted that was.

Although my period of sobriety has been only about one and a half months, after the first two weeks of mentally adjusting to the change, I have found maintaining sobriety easy to do - and this was thanks to AA. Otherwise, I know I would have simply struggled with one month of sobriety, persevered and then relapsed. Somehow I am not struggling anymore, sobriety is something I really want. I never thought it would be possible for me to go to a rowdy St Patrick's Day party and remain comfortably sober or enjoy a long dinner party with friends while forgoing the offers of wine without reservation and downing ice teas instead. Even when I feel like **** in the morning due to stress, illness or crappy weather, the reminder that I would feel at least 5 times worse if I were hungover perks me up instantly and makes me grateful to be sober.

As I explained to a friend who questioned whether it was 'difficult not to have at least one drink'... it's relatively easy for me to not drink alcohol at all. What would be absolute Hell for me would be to have me just one or two drinks at dinner or a reception and fighting myself the rest of the evening from downing 7 to 17 more drinks.

One might argue that if I feel that way about my current sobriety, why I need to keep going. The answer is simple - fear of relapse. All my 'drunk dreams' ( which I never had before I decided to quit ) have me at some enjoyable dinner party and then suddenly realizing with horror the wonderfully refreshing G&T in my hand has been my 5th or 7th drink and that I have relapsed.

The other unexpected factor was that I found myself really truly enjoying the fellowship in the meetings. In a way, that was what I was probably seeking in the first place when I drank to excess with friends and strangers.

Hey SHawk25,

Please don't take this the wrong way, but your post made me laugh. You say that you accepted you HAD a drinking problem and then moved on. Dude, hasn't it only been like a week or two? Either way, your posts are awesome and you are dong a great job. Just thought it was kind of funny.

Well it's been 5 days for me, and all you guys at SR have kept my head from falling off. Even though I've never met any of you guys, I'd like to put a big thanks out there from me... THANKS!

I also just keep repeating the words...

"Just don't drink today"

And right now in the early stages, just keep the mind busy with other things.
Thant and going nowhere near any situation that might tempt re-lapse. A De-Tox of sorts, if you will.

I also tend to have about 2 or 3 baths a day, just to relax. yeah, big water bill, but no blackouts/hangovers/embarrasments/loss.... etc....
Video Games also keep me busy at night.
And holy crap, so much more food is being eaten!!

:jail

^^^ That stuff, and I just wrote a blog.
I also re-watched Dan Amens program, and just seeing the damage alcohol does to the brain, puts me off- every time I see it...