Eidetic

Let's see. Every time I've come back here, it's been out of desperation to find some way of help with staying sober, and every time, I've stopped coming here after a week or so because I haven't been able to stop.

One of my "I nevers" came true this week. I got a DUI. In my brand new car. I'm very lucky I didn't kill or hurt anyone, or myself. I am losing my license for a year though, and my parents (who I've lived with since attempting to start recovery) won't let me drive even though I don't have to surrender my license yet.

Irony: My court date is one year to the day that I broke down and called my parents and said I wanted to check myself into rehab. Lot of good that did me.

I don't have any answers right now. Just that I have to take it one hour at a time. I have a million logistical things to figure out, such as how to get to work, and how to get to AA meetings (I'm desperate enough right now that I really really want AA to work)

I have to go meet with a lawyer today. I've already looked up the penalities for DUIs and I know how much fines I'm facing - yeah, great timing after I just bought a car, and just got on a payment plan for it. I'm sick to my stomach with how I'm going to afford this.

So that's it. I know I deserve this; I played with fire and I got caught. I'm also the idiot who drove on St. Patricks Day, OF COURSE I was going to get caught. I wish I had been in the right state of mind to refuse the breathalyzer. Lose your license for longer, but no huge fines associated, but I was getting yelled at by the cop, and they gave me literally 30 seconds to read the statute on it. Anyway, it's my fault anyway. If I hadn't been drinking this wouldn't have happened.

I don't have a conclusion. I could just really use some good thoughts today. That the lawyers office doesn't take all day so I can go to work this afternoon. I already told my bosses I'd be late and didn't know how late, but my job is basically the only good thing in my life right now, and I really can't afford to lose it, especially now.

parentrecovers

so are you ready to quit drinking?

hugs, and i am glad too that you did not physically hurt yourself or someone else by driving drunk.

keep reaching out, k

Taking5

Well since you are in NYC metro, commuting is easy and there are AA meetings everywhere. Count your blessings. A lot of us have no public transportation system.

Keep posting here, there is great support here.

sailorjohn

Well, you didn't kill anybody. We had an incident on Sunday, 4 teenagers got killed by a 47 year old woman, drunk driving. Her life is pretty much over at this point, at least for the next 20 years or so.

Hopefully you'll see the upside down the road, this may have been the best thing that happened to you.

CarolD

I do so hope this is your time for sobriety.

jamdls

Remember to breath, take really deep breathes and then let them out. Be greatful that you did not harm anyone else and that you're not sitting in a jail cell. The next year will likely be difficult, you won't have the freedom you are used to but you can do this. Hugs to you.

J


"The more people I meet the more I like my dog"

flutter

Sure ya do

least

I hope you have hit your 'bottom' and won't continue drinking. You are blessed that no one was hurt or killed. This would be a good time to work on making your life better.

:ghug3

Anna

Hi,

I hope you know that this can be the turning point for you. Yes, you have to deal with some messes at this point. I think that's true for all of us here. I could hardly face myself, but there was no other choice.

You can do this!