gofish13

I started drinking as a teenager, like most I tried and used other "recreational" drugs but when I married my childhood sweetheart I stopped those. We had 3 kids, right out of highschool and it was tough at times, growing up with your children can challenge you. I was very immature and my wife was the rock. I was lost and she was found. While I worked 60 and 70 hours a week she was cooking, cleaning and raising our children, alone. She even managed to teach them about their Creator, took them to bible studies and to church and did a really good job. Then when the youngest was about 8 she started to join me in binge drinking, we would go out and get shloshed and wake up the next day and say...never again! Then about 12 years ago she didn't stop, she would hide it very well for long periods of time, months of "normal" until there was no control and I had to say enough. 4 trips to rehab, 6 weeks in the hospital, having her stomach pumped, our 10 year old calling 911 and on and on. In between there would again be months of "normal", where I thought we could drink together and it would work. Only to finally say I needed to sober up and watch as she decended into hell. The kids are grown and gone, we have a beautiful grandaughter now, I have been sober for 6 months, only had 1 night of drinking (with my wife) in almost a year and I have had to move out of my home.
She had almost 5 months sober when she chose to drink 9 days ago, she hasn't stopped.
I wish there was some way to force her to get and stay sober, tonight when I went to the house to make sure she was still alive she asked me to help her stop. I don't know if it's considered enabeling but I will help her stop, and then we will seperate for at least 6 months, or as long as it takes her to commit to soberiety.
I will not drink, with or without her.
I think it's my turn to be the "found" one in our relationship but all I feel is alone and lost.
At least I didn't drink today

BKP

Stay strong at least you have the power of soberity right now ignoring the temptation, being the rational one and doing what you need to make right. Godbless in this struggle.

shaun00

If only we could sober up the people we love...

My experience was AA and the twelve steps was the answer to contented sobriety.

I had brief periods of sobriety.......only to return to drinking..

I finally sat down in AA and was prepared to do anything to stay sober
BUT not only sober but comfortable in my own skin sober..

But only she can do that.......you can give her the imformation..ie phone number to AA helpline........the rest is gotta be up to her..

AA...will probably send someone to visit her in her home.....

It may be wise to advise her to seek medical help before stopping...im sure you are aware that alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous.

Have you concidered AA for yourself?.......

I went to AA some years ago and havent touch booze since..it worked for me.

maybe it could work for both of you.

God be with you both.............................trucker

CarolD

Prayers going out to both of you

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, gofish. are you going to any alanon meetings?

you can't control her addiction.

hugs, k

Fubarcdn

Stay strong gofish.
It sounds like she has made an effort to quit and making it 5 months is a good start for her. With your help perhaps she can succeed.
Are your children supportive?

jamdls

My prayers go out to you as well. Like others have said you can't do this for her and whatever you do make your own sobriety your first priority. Hugs to you both.

J