CoDieNOmore

Some background.... I belong to a online support chatroom for a heath issue I have. It has been very helpful since I'm homebound do to melanoma treatment. The guy I have been seeing has a ex wife who also involved with a differnt online chatroom. I made a point not to go in that room. I think everyone needs there own space for friendship and support. ( I know many of you can see where this is heading) Last week his ex found out we were back together and she tried to get back with him. When this did not work out she has been in the chatroom that I go to every morning and have coffee with my online buddies. Yesturday is the first day I have ever seen her in there. She blasted her ex in open form and she does know who I am.. Because she never used his real or online name there was nothing anyone could do. She was really trying very hard to bit me. I did not go there with her in the room or in IM. It was hard..... but I just can't go there. I was determend not to let her run me off. I updated my page with some pics... of my car.. She posted 21 new picks of herself and of course her car. I know this is very silly but just seeing her face first thing in the morning really hurts.
I now feel like I can't post anything in there anymore. She is not in recovery so I'm pretty sure she is not on this site. Whew...
One of my friends was like..... I wonder why she is here.... she has not been in the chatroom in months... Then today (one day later) my friend said that my cancer treatment is making me paranoid.
I know that I have to do what is best for me and right now and that is leaving the chatroom for awhile. I'm left with feeling she has won and I'm griefing the loss of one of my support groups. Then since I know I can only take care on MY side of the street... I'm wondering if I'm overracting and just paranoid. Hence the feeling of being crazy. What are some healthy things I can do to not let all that drama enter my life. Sometimes I let myself get sucked in and then become part of the problem too. The old me would just blow up that room with pics of he and I.. Talk about how wonderful he and I are doing.(truth or not).. So on so forth.. Kinda like what she is doing..... I just don't like that kind of pain anymore. I had to realize that I did like that drama because I would stay in it and cause it too. I had been a player, not a victim. It just really hurts to have to walk away from something that has been so helpful while I'm sick from high doses of interferon for my skin cancer.... What have you all done when faced with issues like this?? O, and am I crazy?? LOL

flutter

Luckily there's lots of chat rooms out there.. I think personally, I would move on.. maybe send a quick note to your friends there that you would love to keep in touch via email, or a new chatroom for now. Maybe once the drama wears off for her, she'll just leave anyways. Maybe spend some time finding a new place to 'hang out' while you're figuring out the rest

shaun00

To be truthful im not great with relationship advice........but you said

"Sometimes I let myself get sucked in and then become part of the problem too."

So maybe do.....nothing.

You trust your partner right?.........if you dont... why not .

She is an EX right......history right.....

You cannot do her thinking.....or stop her doing what shes doing...

Im sure with time it will blow over..

Maybe shes hurting......let her have her blast.....

Got to the sites you wanna go to and rise above it all.

More importantly......look after yourself......and get better real soon.

god be with you....trucker

CoDieNOmore

He and I had some issues last year and we both made some mistakes. We have since got back together but we are both working on some trust issues. But we are both commented to working it out.

serenityqueen

CoDieNOmore

Thanks for your reply Judy. I tried to make a comment on your page but I have not done enough post yet. Still learning how this site works. There are not that many ACTIVE chat rooms for ppl living with HIV. Some ppl that go to one also go to the other. This is how she found out I was on there. I always use my real name. I think I started the spark when I posted one pic of he and I. I was unaware at that time that she came in that site. Never saw her there.... I think I'm just going to give that room a break for a week or so and see if she has moved on.