Paulos

My mother, whenever she drinks... she's a smart drunk I call it, because when she drunks somehow she seems to semi wake up out of nowhere and get defensive... she isn't one of those slurring, banging into walls drunk, she's always prepared to fight orally if she must... she asked me while she was intoxicated "Why are you avoiding me" ... I mean jeez. How can you be so ignorant after I've told her so many times in the past... sigh. I don't know if I'm being over judgmental but ...she asks me what's wrong, well I didn't bother to tell her because she would have gotten angry and gotten in her fit that could last for days... so ... :'(... I am sad now.

Texasblind

Here I am reading your posts. I was the same kind of drunk. I couldn't function unless I had a few in me. The desire to fight was first on my mind too. I had to change my environment.

parentrecovers

have you thought about attending any alanon meetings? hugs, k

Paulos

yeah parentrecovers but we have no alanon meetings on sr...

Anna

Paulos,

I don't know what the answer is for your situation, but please know that you are in my prayers.

splendra

I am sorry you are having to deal with this (((((Paulos))))) but like they say in alanon "take care of you" and "keep the focus on yourself"

Angelic17

Hey Paulos, my mom was an alcoholic. I understand what your going through. Its so tough to deal with someone who is intoxicated. Did you ever try talking to your mom when she is sober? Maybe she would be willing to listen. Sober is definitely the only way to talk about something so touchy. You can start by saying mom, when your drinking you do such and such, and it makes me feel so bad. Either way, if she does listen, or if she doesn't. We are here for you. And we will listen. Don't be sad. Everyday is a new beginning. Hang in there. :ghug3

parentrecovers

so maybe spend alittle time over on friends and family, if you don't already. or go to the alanon website for good readings, etc.

hugs, k

Paulos

Ang17 she doesn't think her drinking is a problem... I've talked to her when she was sober about this over 50 times, there's no point in continuing... she knows how I felt about last night, she understood, however she STILL DRANK tonight... so as you see I can't win.

Jules62

It's not about you-her drinking I mean.

You know what it's like-until you accept you have a problem no one else can tell you.

Sounds like you need to detach.And parentrecovers made some good suggestions.Al anon would be of benefit to you. Look them up online or even better-maybe seek out a face to face group?Might be good for you to get out of your room.

Tazman53

Paulos wish I could tell you something magical that would work, but I really can't. There are some things in life I have found that I have absolutely no control over, one of those things is other people. I have found that I just need to accept them for who and what they are and simply turn it over to a power greater then myself.

The best thing you can do for your mom right now is to be the best sober Paulos you can be. When your mom is annoying you due to her drinking if you can just leave, go to your room or what ever.

One day she may ask you why you have changed, this is the time when you can tell her that you have changed because you are no longer drinking and instead are working on Paulos and becoming a better person. She may ask you more, she may not, but you will have planted a seed. One day she may get tired of her drinkig and come to you for help, stay sober to where you can be there for her when she needs you.

Angelic17

Hey Paulos, My mother did that to me for years and years with her drinking. I tried to talk to her so many times. She didn't change. She died an alcoholic, and she just couldn't stop, not even for her kids. At that time I didn't understand that it was a disease. I felt she chose alcohol over her children. And I was angry at her for that. But, now, today, I do understand that she had a disease, and she couldn't control it. You know, when you know better, you do better. It seems to me you know better, You have alot of knowledge about addiction, and you need to use some of those tools, to help you get through. Most addicts or people with drinking problems, don't think they have a problem. That's a common trait with addiction. You might need to seperate yourself from the situation. I always say, Love the Addict, Hate the disease. Hang in there, better days are coming. Naranon is a great tool for coping with a loved ones alcohol or drug use. I'm not sure if it can help you find Peace, with your present situation, but maybe it will help you to know, that your not alone.