tuco70

OK, I know, I have a drinking problem. My wife and my oldest daughter give me looks every time I open a beer.

I should go to AA, but .......

I'm not depressed, I just know I need to change, but the addiction wants me to savior every minute with her.

I drink every night. 4 to 5, maybe 6 beers. It has become habit to drink, starting a 5 and ending when I can't walk. I crave the relaxation of the first two beers and try to maintain that buzz through out the night.

I need to stop, but I fear I will no longer know who I am. How much will I change? I've been drinking since 15. This is part of me. Funny, I like the taste of beer. Do I put something in its place?

I have not really tried stopping. I have stopped drinking for a week or two just to say I could.

Well, enough rambling, I just needed to start venting my feelings.

Thanks for reading.

Mark75

I am 6 months C&S. I drank for 39 years, the last several like you drink, maybe more. You fear that you will no longer know who you are... with all due respect and with personal experience in this matter... how does one know one's self if they drink every day until they can't walk?

At 6 months I have already begun to experience some gifts of sobriety... one of them has been to reintroduce myself to myself... scary?, yes, but wonderfully so. I no longer fear myself.

Fear... so often the cause of alcoholism.

If you have a desire to stop drinking, go to AA. Notice you don't have to actually stop, just that you have the desire....

Hey... Like your avatar!!!

Mark

readyforhelp

I'm glad you are here. You can start stopping now and yes, you will want to start finding other things to do. Hang out here a little bit--- it will assist you on your journey.

KenL

Have you ever thought that whoever you are sober is someone you might like? Toomuch had a thread on fear in newcomers. You may want to take a peek at it.

Peace and good luck.

Ken

Fubarcdn

Welcome to SR tuco.
If you want to stop there is plenty of support here.
Is your drinking causing any problems with your wife and daughter or is it they just don't like you drinking?

shaun00

the trouble with active alcoholism is it told me all this negative stuff...

"Your never do it"...or "life wont be worth living without booze"...

or "nobody does total abstinance"...its gonna be this or that"
.......lie...lie....lie...lie..

Once you sober up you see the lie for what it is......

Let me tell you this....IT IS POSSIBLE TO LIVE A HAPPY CONTENT LIFE WITHOUT BOOZE...this forum is full of them.....take a look.

But i needed AA.......i found a program of recovery that worked for me..

Lastly.....i spent many many years talking about stopping....every time i got drunk id talk about stopping.......instead of stopping.

Dont waste years like me...........You could be living a happy sober life..

trucker

tuco70

Thanks guys. I'm going to count today as day one.

Trucker, I seem to think about stopping when I am drunk too.

I was drinking when I wrote the post. After re-reading, WOW how negative and not the "I got it all together" person that I perceive myself during the day. A Jeckle and Hyde thing. Again WOW!!.

Cubile75, I have played guitar for 23 years. I'm in the house band. (I play at my house.) lol.

adore79

I dont think, and many people here will agree, that will power can make a person stop drinking. It takes changing your habits/lifestyle/thinking and taking it one day at a time of not drinking. Welcome to SR!

Mark75

Me too! The rest of my band is off to college, darn, I miss her... She's one lucky young lady, she majors in jazz guitar... I play folk/bluegrass/blues...

I always had it "together", or thought I did... If you are going to quit, give yourself completely to a program... AA works for me, and, I have found some meetings I like and actually look forward to going to!! (not unusual, many recovering alkies say the same thing...).

Glad you're here... keep coming back!

Mark

Dime

Hi and Welcome!
Please do hang around and post. Many of us had similar thoughts about losing something if we didn't drink. Many of us were not instant alcoholics and had a slow progression that took years. I for one could stop drinking very easily whenever I wanted to. The bad part about alcoholism is that it is a very progressive type of thing. I just drank a few beers in the evening for many years thinking I had to have it to relax. The thing I found out is that many alcoholics discover they have a problem before the consequences get bad, take action, remain sober and avoid the inevitable nightmares.

There are so many people here that can help you avoid that nightmare which is pretty much guaranteed if have the same problem I do. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

I like your avatar too!

flutter

Welcome

Anna

Welcome!

I am glad to see that this your day 1, that's great!

For me, drinking was a symptom and I needed to make other changes in my life in order to recover. How will you change your evenings, now you are no longer drinking?

Maggot4Life

I can relate to your story because that is the type of drinking I was doing, started when I got home from work right up until I went to bed, or passed out. When I was at home just watching tv and the craving for beer hit, i just had to satisfy them.

I've been reading tons of posts from other members and I can see the light now...3 days sober for me so far.

resentful wife

Welcome to SR!
I'd like to chime in from your wife and daughters side.

Don't worry about the looks that their giving you. That will all stop as your need for more grows, they won't give you the "LOOK" any more because they will start to realize that it's not working.

Then they will start not making any plans for things to do that include you.
They won't plan dinner out, they won't plan going to the movies and they won't plan chores to get done or holidays to be celebrated. Because they will start to know that you won't be there, no matter what you say or what you promise, once that first beer is opened all plans are off.

Once they learn that they can no longer depend on you to say what you mean, they will start living their own life, making their own way, doing their own thing. They'll still love you and try to include you but they will no longer expect it to happen.

Then it won't be the looks anymore, it will be the silence, with the exception of the sound of that first beer opening. And I can tell you it is deafening.

I'm glad that you want this to be your day one, your so worth it.

Linda

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

tuco70

Again, thanks for the replies. Makes me feel welcome.

Adore79 and 51Anna, I have been thinking about the change in lifestyle and what change I can do in the evenings. I'll ask the wife, I'm sure she has many things to keep me busy. lol. Thanks

Maggot4life, You describe what I do. I've been doing it for years. I just so tired of it. Thanks for the reply.

Maybe this forum will become my past time?

Dave

CAPTAINZING2000

Beer is one of the most popular and fashionable drinks which contains a great amount of natural elements. Millions of people like beer, thousands of those drink it almost every day, and hundreds of those are sure that they are doing right! They are convinced that beer has a lot of minerals and vitamins, which are, undoubtedly, very useful for our body and can promote healthy life. Is it possible to call beer “a natural remedy”? I say, no! No way! Never! See the myths and facts about beer - and be the judge.

MYTH 1. Beer is a useful natural drink. Some people are sure that beer is a very useful drink, which must be added to our daily diet. Certainly, there is alcohol in beer, but it is used in small concentrations and, if consumed in reasonable doses, can be even necessary for everyone.
TRUTH. In real, beer must be considered more harmful than wine or vodka, because it contains a lot of harmful and dangerous composites that appeared as a result of fermentation. These poisonous composites (usually the wastes of fermentation) include aldehydes, fusel oils, methanol, ethers and so on. Besides, the content of alcohol in beer is not always low and sometimes there can be up to 14% of alcohol. Also, beer alcoholism is very fast to be developed.

MYTH 2. There is no such thing as beer alcoholism. There are millions of people who drink beer every day and do not develop any sort of alcoholism.
TRUTH. Beer alcoholism is a hard psychological disorder, which is frequently accompanied with anosognosia, or denial of own dependence and the absence of a drive to get rid of this bad habit. Usually, it doe not take a lot of time for developing a psychological dependence on drinking beer. This addiction is also boosted by availability of this drink, as well as by the absence of ethical limitations for drinking beer (people drink beer practically everywhere and at any time).

MYTH 3. Beer is useful from social point of view, because it helps people switch from drinking vodka, whisky or other alcoholic drinks. For many people, beer can substitute heavy alcoholic drinks and this way it fulfills an important social function.
TRUTH. From this perspective, beer contributes greatly to our self-deceit. If you drink 3-4 bottles of beer a day, you receive the same dose of alcohol as you could receive after drinking a bottle of vodka. However, you are psychologically protected, because the one who drinks a bottle of vodka per day is an alcoholic person, but the one who drinks 2-3 liters of beer a day is a normal guy! For example, in the nineteenth century the British decided to fight with increasing alcoholism by stimulating beer consumption, however, this law was abolished very soon since alcoholism went on blossoming.


МYTH 4. Beer is useful for our brains. Beer contains silica, which can prevent brain atrophy, speech impediments and other problems.
TRUTH. Actually, alcohol destroys our brain cells, and this process is especially fast in teenagers and youth. Regular beer consumption affects human intellect and learning abilities. People who suffer from hard forms of beer alcoholism usually have sheer mental problems and are inclined to oligophrenia.

МYTH 5. Beer is useful for our heart and vessels.
TRUTH. Beer causes very harmful changes in physical shape and work of human heart and whole cardio-vascular system. Beer contains great amounts of carbon dioxide, which goes into our blood very fast and causes problems with vessels, such as varicose, etc.

МYTH 6. Beer has a pleasant taste and is useful for our digestion. It contains natural composites of starch, which advantage digestion and producing gastric juice.
TRUTH. No matter how many useful properties are attributed to hops, it contains very dangerous tars, which are proven to have carcinogenic properties. Studies showed that drinking too much beer increases risks to have colon cancer. Besides, beer contains such element as cobalt, which is known for its properties to trigger inflammation in esophagus and stomach.

МYTH 7. Beer is useful because it has a lot of vitamins. Some beer lovers are convinced that by drinking 1 liter of beer a day you can obtain your daily norm of all necessary elements and vitamins.
TRUTH. Actually, beer has almost no vitamins at all. During the process of beer manufacturing all the vitamins that initially exist in natural ingredients are gone. As a result, 1 liter of beer contains only 0,005-0,15 mg of thiamine, 0,3-1,3 of riboflavin, etc.


MYTH 8. Beer can boost sexual function.
TRUTH. Alcohol is always bad for sexual function, both in men and women. Alcohol inhibits production of androgens in your body that can substantially lower your sex drive. In addition, beer contains a series of toxic elements, including the composites of heavy metals, which can cause harmful changes in endocrine system.

MYTH 9. Beer is useful for our nervous system as it has calming and relaxing effects, helps to relief stress and so on.
TRUTH. Beer affects our nervous system since it contains certain psychoactive elements, which make beer act as a dangerous intoxicant. Besides, beer has sedative properties, which affect memory and our sensorimotor activity.

MYTH 10. Beer is useful for kidneys due to its diuretic properties.
TRUTH. Beer washes out proteins, fats, carbs and useful elements form our body, especially potassium, magnesium and Vitamin C. A lack of potassium can cause changes in our heart rhythm, dry skin, pains in legs, etc. A lack of magnesium brings to sleep disorders, irritability and nervousness. A lack of Vitamin C in our body leads to problems with immunity, attention deficit and other mental imbalances.

So, are we still talking about useful properties of beer?



Myths and Truth About Beer



I call it an obssession to my mind and an allergy to my body

Richard54

AAhhhh yes, Tuco, beer was my drug of choice, for many years.

In my early drinking years, a 6 pack a night would suffice quite nicely, but that was long ago.

For the last 15-20 years a 6 pack was little more than a warm up. I'd drink at least 15 beers a day, and if it was a day off work a 24 pack or more.

I had a beer going literally all day long, and in the wee hours of morning, I'd get up about 4am and have a couple.

It's strange for me to look at old photographs now. Every picture taken with me in it, I'm holding a Budweiser.

Eventually, something snapped, clicked inside. I just decided I don't want to do this anymore. Some call it a moment of clarity.

After the initial 3 or 4 days of hellish withdrawl, I found it most helpful to have my beer glass in my hand all day and night as usual.

Only it was filled with fruit juices.

I went through a couple of gallons of juices a day initially, I'd mix my own blend, a little pinapple, a splash of apple etc, etc. It helped me personally to hold on to a drink all night long sipping.

Good luck on your sobriety! You've found a great place here at SR so stick around.

When your moment of 'clarity' hits, you'll find your desire to NOT drink is stronger than your desire to drink.

Until I found myself with the desire to not drink overpowering the desire to drink, any attempts I made at quitting or cutting back never worked. Willpower certainly plays into it, but personally, I needed more than just willpower.

This site helps immensely.