sfgirl

Insurance companies give my body this visceral reaction. The whole business does. Okay, I finally found a listing thing for rehabs that is not selling anything and allows you to search by radius of miles around your city. It tells how payment works, if it can be sliding scale. It is provided by the US government:

Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator

Hopefully this helpful. But by now you are probably tired of the whole thing.

Horselover

I wish you wouldn't go away Trish and I stand by what I said about venting. Its fine to do and it is necessary. You can do this thing and even if this thing is just getting through this tough moment in your life. It is tough and there is no denying that fact. I wish we could change that for you, but we can't. We can be here for you. We can throw suggestions into the air. We can offer prayers and support. (Frankly that's where I'm at.) I am praying for you. It helps me and I think it will help you. Again, sorry Trish.

Aysha

I am not goin away. I am however goin to quit postin about my own crap for awhile.

It took a really good friend to take me aside and tell me what some of you have been saying. And thats to not be a victim. I have been on the pity pot and I think its time to get off.

They say when people feel like their backs are against the wall they either fight or flight. Well I always fight. I dont know if thats a good thing. But I know I need to put that fight where it is useful. And whining and acting like I have is not the way.

I am sorry to all of you for being a drama queen. I didnt mean to be. I am kust scared and confused and dont know how this all happened so fast. I dont think I have ever been really serious about this before. As many times as I claimed to be serious and done. I wasnt. I am at that point right now. So thats why all of this has got me so crazy. Because now that I am truly ready. I am running into walls.
I know everyone is on ym side and is telling me some real stuff here. And I let my anger and frustration blind me to that.
So SQ...I am sorry for being an ass. I didnt mean it. I always like to hear your advice. You are always ther to support me and I would never want to push you away.
Or anyone else for that matter. There isnt one person here that I can say I dont like. EVeryone has been more than generous to me here.

I am goin to do IOP. I am goin to do it with an open mind and give it everythuing I got. I have to. Its my only option and I need to take advantage of it this time. Jobs and life other than recovery is goin to have to take a backseat to my gettin gbetter.
If I want it bad enough I will get it. And I do want it more than anything.
I am going to show myself that I can do it. I will do it and I am not a victim and I never will be one. Not if I can help it.

I am goin to drop it right here and let it go. I am done talking about it and I am just goin to move forward from thins point on.

I let my anger at other things make me take it out on everything and everyone else. I am sorry for that. One of my character defects. I have alot of work to do. And as I have said before. If yall have tolaerated me this long. I have nothing but respect for that. I am alot to deal with and honestly. I cant say i could have dont the same thinng with someone like me.


So on that note,,,No more feelin sorry for myself. And no more being angry and lashing out. I am just goin to do what I have to do with what I got.

Thx again. And I am done with this topic.

RobbyRobot

Hey Trish, i'm sad it's going rough but that only shows what your made of girl and it's all fine and you're solid with what you're doing. You can beat all this run-around-game. Bet your life on it. It takes more than some dummies to keep you down and strung out.

You have faced worse. We both know it. Still sad and tough though i know it. I don't know you but i do know it. Walk the talk baby and you'll be fine as rain.

You don't have to f up. You don't. It's gonna be a rough and bumpy ride for the next few months no matter how it plays out with how you manage your recovery. At the end of the day many paths bring us to recovery... and usually its more then just one single path forever imo. Take what works each day, hold on to it, let it go when another path brings you what you need and want for your life. It's all about you and no problem with that.

I know you really want it clean. Its gonna happen. It already is happening. Just do it. The way this is going is the way your recovery is happening. Hang on and remember its the ride of your life. Its okay to laugh through it too....

Rock On.


RR

Emily2002

Good job hanging tough, ((((Trish)))). Hope you're getting some sleep tonight, too!

serenityqueen

robc

Hi Trish,

I have read several of your posts and I think you should vent as much as you want. People can choose to read your posts or not. I get a little tired of people that post certain things and just make excuses, but your are the opposite. You are trying so hard to get help and it sucks that you can't. If venting helps, then vent away. I don't blame you at all and I hope things get better soon.