stone

I am on anti-depressants.

Barb, what Pub?

Sher, tea?

LOL

Language probs!

gypsytears

What is going for a nip then? Is it like a short nap???

I'm glad you canceled that outing babes. Getting out is usually a good idea but not if it's going to stress the hell out of you!

I have a book I ordered used from Amazon sitting on my desk. I have only just flipped through it, not had enough time to read it yet but you may be interested. What I did peek at was quite readable: Yoga for Depression by Amy Weintraub. You might see if your library has it. Or... wait for my review but it may be a while.

Hugs :ghug3.

stone

Nip out, like pop out. Go somewhere and come back quickly.

Thanks for the book suggestion Gyps. I need something, the depression is getting worse and worse. Finding it really hard to do anything. I want to hide and sleep all the time, I am fighting it as hard as I can, doing what I can, when I can.

nelco

Hiya Stone.......I just nipping in to say hello!! Good your still sober. Sorry to hear your depression is worse. Are you talking about it to anyone? I hope you can focus on positive things this evening. Did you ever consider joining something like a night class or drama group or something?? Something that might take you out of self and distract you from negative thoughts

stone

Hi Nelco, tomorrow I am going to see about counseling. I will have to pay this time but if I can get the counsellor I had or another good one then it is worth it.

A drama group is soooo not my thing! However I know where you are coming from and right now I am too far down in the depression to do anything like that. I am forcing myself to do small steps, it is the best I can do right now. Who knows, tomorrow might be slightly better?

nelco

That sounds good.... What about the garden?? I find working with the earth very therapeutic and you get all that fresh air too which always helps with sleep and keeping a healthy mind.

stone

I don't garden either. Sorry if it seems like I am shooting down your suggestions I don't mean too!

Fesh air IS good, you are right. Tomorrow is as far ahead as I can plan when I feel like this...and I have stuff that I have to do and stuff that I could put off to another day as well. I will do the stuff I have to do and hopefully some of the other stuff too. It is hard because I am so exhausted all the time, the depression adds to that but there is a physical component too, the folic acid deficiency, which I make worse each time I drink.

Looking on the positive side, I am sober and I have no urge to drink despite depression being my main trigger.

Thanks Nelco.

parentrecovers

i prolly would have had a nervous breakdown by now if it weren't for weeding.

nelco

looking on the positive side your also taking an action tomorrow. I hope it goes well for you. dare i mention tomorrow is tuesday and I think its your home group......will you do you think??

Dee74

I'm glad you going to see about counselling tomorrow Stoney.

I'd get that started ASAP mate. You may not feel like drinking now, but you know feeling weird and depressed has always been your trigger - it'd be mad to ignore that I reckon.

Try and get to the meeting too IMO - getting out and being with people, and getting a bit out of yr own head, will do you good - even if it's the last thing you want to do.

D

Rowan

Paul I'm glad to see you here talking about your depression. Good call on cancelling the plans with your father. I knew what you meant about nipping because I used to be married to an English kaniggit.

I don't know what the heck I'm going through. It's depression, but not the way it usually is. I'm out and about and not staying home/hiding like I usually do. I'm just mad at everybody and feel really irked. My sponsor suggested I try yelling in the car so I did that on the way home (making sure no cars were nearby). I screamed my guts out for a minute or two. I didn't feel better - I felt like I was on the verge of tears that wouldn't come. Anyhoo. Just my way of saying I'm putting one foot in front of the other - just like you.

Gonna hit a meeting tonight if I can. It's in the plans - all depends on daughter and what she's got going on. I'm gonna meditate later on, too.

Thinking of you. Hugs.

stone

Hi Dee, yea I am getting the counselling going asap, if I can't get my old counsellor back then I will do what is necessray to get a new one.
I will be doing that tomorrow and also I have an appt. to do with getting my Govt. pittance, if I have any energy left by the evening I will go to the meeting.

Hi Ro, That is all we can do sometimes. Depression suuuuucks.
I think I have mentioned before that mine is cyclical, I haven't had a low this low for a long time, I am totally bleak. If it carries on I will have to start thinking of changing meds or something. I really don't want to have to do that.

stone

I used another Jon Kabat-Zin CD tonight, this time it was just an ordinary guided meditation, no body scan. It was another 45 minutes session, doing it without a CD I am lucky if I can do more than 10 minutes.
Anyway, it helped.....a little, lol.

It is weird how your depression is manifesting differently this time, could it be a side effect of the meds? When I increased my Cipramil last year I was angry and irked all the time.
If it's not the meds then maybe talking therapy might help you too? Are you doing anything like that lately?

least

Hey Stoney, I had a fleeting desire to drink today but I talked it away and reminded myself of how awful I felt the last time I 'had a drink'. I came here and read and posted and it passed quickly. I'm serious about my recovery too. Want to get my six months back. I did it before so I know I can do it again. Thanks for helping!:ghug3

Glad you're taking steps about your depression. We can't let it get us down for too long or too badly!

Rowan

Hi Paul thanks for your comments - yeah I remember last year when you went all irk-like when you increased your meds. Maybe it's not even depression that I'm experiencing? Maybe I'm just calling it that because it's troublesome? I ain't gonna change my meds quite yet. I'm not seeing a counsellor. I tried one at a women's resource centre that offered free counselling but I didn't jibe with the lady. She was a feminist and put a lot of the focus on empowering myself and I'm just not there yet. Ya know? So I canned that deal for now.

I'll continue to talk to my sponsor and friends in the program - all are good supports.

I have to use a CD to meditate, also. On my own I'm all over the map.

Got to the meeting tonight which was good - and had some cake afterwards. Yum.

Keep this thread going, okay? No matter what! This is good stuff you've got going on here.

Sleep tight.

gypsytears

I know it sucks but...depression is no reason for drinking.

Just sayin'.

Good for seeing about counseling. That's a pro active thing to do babes. I'm proud of you. Try and find that book cheap or at the library. I'm sure there's something useful in there. It's about yoga after all.

Also... look into something called EFT. It's a tapping technique that can help with many areas of your life. I'll splain it you you if you want or you can just google.

Rella927

Stoney So sorry that i have not checked the boards all around until today really been wrapped up in my own drama!

I want you to know that I'm so proud of you doing all of this! I read all 15 pages! And this is awesome! I know you can do this and will because it is serious! and I have faith in you!

I have heard of this EFT my brother actually is doing this Gyps and I think it would be a great idea for Stoney to look into!

Keep it up Stoney Love ya sweets

IO Storm

Stoney...

Thanks for the 'splanation of "nipping"..now I know an Anglish word!

I have to agree with Gyps..depression is not a reason for drinking..alcohol is a

depressant and only makes it worse. You know..running around with undiagnosed

bipolar disorder for who knows how long..I "treated" the lows and highs with alcohol

and amphetamine pills..no saint here.

I am treated. But recovery is what sustains me on a daily basis. My doc told me

today..because of the PTSD stuff with the stalking ex, even now that I have the

permanent order..I am "somewhat unstable"...so I have to work even harder on

this recovery thing..moment by moment. I was told at a meeting tonight..

"Don't let anyone screw up your sobriety." Great advice.

Love ya Stoney...so much, just do what you must.

And no, you don't have to take my advice.. lol.

But it is working for me. Keeping it serial...

stone

That is how I am dealing with my fleeting desires too, I know how bad it will be if I do.

This thread is helping me too, Bottoms wasn't the place for this stuff.

I will not drink today.

stone

You gotta jibe! That is why I really want my old counsellor back, I realise this may not happen though.

I will keep this thread going, it is saving my arse right now.