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Is your relationship going to make it?

Old 03-12-2009, 10:10 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
mle-sober
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Wow. It's very interesting to me to read your replies. Thank you.
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Old 03-12-2009, 11:25 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
I'm just a little unwell
 
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SS, my hub didn't want to go to Al-Anon, either. It was even his idea, and when I said I thought it was a GOOD idea, he backed off! Once things came to a really ugly head for us, though, he agreed to give it a shot. Lo and behold, he didn't hate it. He even came home from one meeting (either his 2nd or 3rd, I don't remember) and a few days later told me that he had been bothered ever since the meeting because he realized that some things he heard there were true and he never wanted to admit it. Things started hitting home for him and he didn't expect that. Until that point he had been very much of the opinion that, "SHE'S the one who's sick, what do *I* need help for?!"

He hasn't been in 2 weeks and I'm not sure if he'll go next week or not, but I'm thankful that he went to the ones he's been to so far. It definitely gave him a new perspective on things.

And the first meeting he went to is the one that made him come home and hug me and say, "Wow, I realize now that things could have gotten much, much worse than they did. More than anything, this meeting made me grateful."

Oh yeah - another thing he's said after a meeting that caught my attention: he said the people at the meeting were talking about how long they'd been going to Al-Anon and most of them had been going for SEVERAL years (10, 20, some more). He thought to himself, "Hrmph. I don't want to be going to these meetings for the rest of my life!" He said then he paused and thought, "Hmm. Well I guess TSH doesn't want to not drink again for the rest of her life either. Huh." An aha moment for him.
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Old 03-12-2009, 05:17 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Wow. I have gotten so much from this thread and can relate to all of you in some way, shape or form. The strong bond between my husband and myself, his disinterest in Alanon, the weird, albeit dysfunctional, way my drinking bound us, the "my problem" vs "our problem" and knowing that I'd be OK no matter what. Amazing. Thank you all for sharing! :ghug2
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