I was never an everyday drinker.. I used to try to do just "special occassions" only... But I couldn't stick to that.

I think some of my problem was my environment. I hang out with people who drink alot, and give me a hard time if I don't wanna drink.. I'm 32 and I was getting peer pressure to drink, what the crap is that? Part of me thinks it was their jealousy that I was trying to better myself and they couldn't. But I have spoke with a couple of them recently and they agreed that things need to change. If someone wants to cut back or quit drinking they should support their decision and not make fun of them..

Hey Steve~ Welcome to SR! One thing I've noticed is when people make fun of you, over not drinking, not eating a certain thing, is because it makes them examine their OWN habits. Your Friends seem to drink the same way, maybe it makes them feel uncomfortable because they don't want to hear "Steve quit, why can't you?" know what I mean? You do what is right for YOU! It sounds to me like you love your Fiancee and are willing to do what it takes to save your relationship =) Good for you!

By the way, REAL friends won't make fun of you for making changes that make you better. They'll cheer you on, support you, and sometimes some will come along for the ride =)

Hey Steve,

I can't add much more to "Leasts" first post but would check out the link OzSandy provided. There are alternatives to AA such as SOS and Life Ring. I don't know where you live but you can google those two and get a listing of where they are.

I think the one common thread with all of us that abused alcohol, is there is a reason underneath. It's not stress, it's not hard times, it's not worry, it's not because we're out with friends and just having a good time etc., while it often looks to be that superficial in nature. Drinking is often just a symptom of a problem. It doesn't mean there is anything serious, but you may want to speak to your Dr. to discuss what's been going on and work on any issues you may not be aware of, fix the underlying cause should any exist.

I wish you well and hope things work out the way you hope they do.

Before my first AA meeting, I was told to read "The Doctors Opinion" and "Bills Story" from the AA Big Book. Maybe check it out and see if you can identify with it. Can't hurt! :wink:

Big Book Online Fourth Edition

Also, I had an alcohol/addictions counselor once tell me that my drinking was just a bad habit. Umm...deciding to go out for a couple of beers and ending up drunk for 3 days is just a bad habit?

No. I'm an alcoholic. Normal people just don't do these things.

Hey there Shawk--
I see a lot of myself in your original post. Beers with the guys (sports teams especially) ... turns into all night bender with the fellas. And--being the good sport you are, when SoandSo is out of cash, or the bar doesn't take debit cards or w/e--pretty soon I'm out 200 bucks, drunk off my a$$ and in the morning have a pile of ATM receipts, and a nicely depleted account. Am I close here?
Of course this is just the weekend--at first. We're all individuals but my social/sports drinking escalated over time into drinking on weeknights. Over time, I realized that once I started drinking--there wasn't really any point--ever, while drunk--that I decided I'd had enough. Took a long while to realize that is pretty screwed up behavior. I thought it was part of the fun.
What wasn't fun was how it progressed--and became the focus of my life. Getting drunk was a goal--because it became the way only way I felt "normal".
I'm rambling now--but wanted to let you know you're not alone in it--and you've come to a great place. SR is my program too--and has kept me sober since Super Bowl Sunday. Weird...I was drinking that day...
Best.

Hey S,
I don't think it has anything to do with what days you don't drink rather then the affect it has on you and others. Here is some information I found real helpful and I hope you do also.

Here's how alcoholism typically progresses:
SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.
WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks.
EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.
BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.
CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.
Source: American Medical Association

I have just a couple of comments for you. I see you question whether you are an alcoholic or not. Don't bother with the label. It prevents some people from eliminating that which is causing many, many problems in their lives.

I did the comparison thing years ago and I left AA because I thought "I'm not one of them." I wasn't an every day drinker, I hadn't lost anything due to drinking . . . I did have a problem stopping when I started. I did say I wasn't going to drink on such and such a weekend, but then I would any ways.

I would end by saying that almost 20 years later I did become a daily drinker and my alcoholic voice can and sometimes does say, "It wasn't that bad. You didn't withdraw when you stopped drinking. You weren't drinking in the mornings." Blah Blah Blah! Should I wait another 15 years, IF I am alive then and test the theory to see how close I am to the sterotype of an alcoholic?

I am in no way talking disrespectful to you and I hope you don't take this wrong, but I see you in me. I was a great weekend party girl. I could out bar hop the best of them, but I would LOVE it if you would not take the long detour I did.

Hugs to you and life WILL get better if you stop drinking and find other ways to celebrate life. I think its so much more awesome without the sunglasses on that I used to wear when drinking.

Welcome to our family, S. It's wonderful you've found us. It's all pretty much been said, and I completely agree with Horselover, don't wait to see what another 10 or 20 yrs. of trying to control it might bring. I was like you once, it was all so much fun and a lovely escape from problems. In the end it was a living hell, I drank 'round the clock and racked up 3 DUI's, ruined relationships and my health. Congratulations on reaching out for help at a young age - you never have to go on the horrific journey many of us have.