Aysha

After 10 hrs of waiting in to get in. I finally got in my room and went to the my first group. In the middle of the group one of the coumselors calls me out and tells me that my ins company says I dont fit the criteria for inpatient. Why dont I fit? Because I dont have a medical condition resulting from using.
But it's ok that I have almost 20 yrs of addiction. A very serious suicide attempt. Many jail arrests. Almost killed nimerous times. Lost many jobs and I dont even want to get into the amount of money spent over the years.
WTF???!!!! But if my blood pressure was a little high they would have taken me. That is total F***ing bullshyt!!!
When he told me that I just broke down and cried so hard.
Now I am so angry.
I dont understand.
I just dont get it. The one time I thought I was ready to do whatever it took. And they turn me away.
What does soemone have to do to get help?
It makes no sense to me.
I am not goin to lie. If I had money right now I would go smoke until I couldnt smoke anymore. Would that get their F***ing attention?
Or maybe I could kill someone or myself. I am sure that would spark a little bit of interest.
I hate this ****!!!
I am not goin to do any of the above. But you better believe tomorrow someone at that ins company is goin to wish they called out.
I am at a friggin loss right now.

TTOSBT

Chiy,
I am sorry that this has happened and that this did not get dealt with by them before you were admitted. I am sure you are extremely disappointed. But if what I highlighted above is true, you will find the lesson in this, take the steps you need to take to get sober and stay sober, no matter what!
I wish you the very best in your process :ghug

Gypsy Feet

I'm sooooo sorry honey. Please hang in there. There must have been a screw up at the ins. co.

Anna

I'm sorry that happened, Trish.

You can get through this and begin to recover. It's just a setback, that's all. And, don't forget, I gave you the link to the Salvation Army's free rehab program.

shaun00

I dont understand either.....i hope you get it sorted in the morning..

Try to stay calm on the phone.....you may get further with them if you do...

Ahhh man ....im real sorry to here that..

Im sure your get it sorted.......god be with you...........trucker

least

That sounds like so much bs... I'm sorry this happened to you but don't let it stop you from beginning your recovery. I love you hun and wish I could be there in person to let you scream and cry and yell and vent.

:ghug3

WLDKATZ

Smoking isnt the answer sweetie and you and I both know it i was on the phone with Amy when I seen this and read it to her she sends her love and will be on when she gets off of work ( all hell breaking lose there and she might get fired tonight................I will be heading to GA if it happens) so you got me.........
the 3 of us, me you and Amy have been to hell and back together......and one way or another we have always come threw, if they wont take you then fine we will figure something else out I sware we will, but right this moment lets get past the wanting to use because they said no.......just because THEY did doesn't mean that YOU have too, sweetheart tie another knot in your rope and hang tight PLEASE you mean way too much for us to lose you back to the drugs........some of us really need your love and support..........hold tight if you want my number just hit me up and it is yours and ya know it!!!!!! Or I can call you..........just take it one second at a time right now.......
I love ya girl!!!!!


Pamm

serenityqueen

OMG Trish, I am so sorry! You're right, that is complete and utter bull sh*t if you ask me. There has got to be something that can be done. Don't give up and for God's sakes, don't give in to the urge to use right now. I know we tend to think things like, "Yeah,I'll show them, I'll get so f*cked up they won't know what happened." But as you know, the bottom line is, the only person who this effects is you. When I was trying to get into detox in July of 2005, I kept getting turned away each day, basically the old, "there's no room at the inn" deal. (I had been there so many times, detoxing for me was a revolving door) They'd give me some Ativan and a small script for more and tell me to come back again tomorrow morning. This went on for days. When I finally did get admitted, they tried to tell me that I had to have opiates in my system in order to get admitted and I guess the amt in my system was pretty low. Well, of course you idiots! I told you I was serious and wanted to quit. I was sick as a dog, but I hung on. The only thing that kept me from getting booted was the fact that my blood pressure was through the roof and my labs came back abnormal.

You have been putting up one hell of a fight against this disease lately, please please don't give up! Don't get high! I don't have any suggestions at the moment other than to call your insurance company first thing in the morning and ask to speak to a nurse and explain all of this. It is ridiculous that insurance companies can do crap like this.

Until then, please stay on here all night if you need to. I noticed your green light is off, I'm going to be sending out a lot of Prayers that you come back on here and be with us right now. We love you and want to help in anyway we can right now.

Prayers Galore,
Judy

Aysha

tHX EVERYONE...I am just so ..I dont even have words.
My heart sank and I felt sick. I tried not to cry. But when I couldnt hold it anymore it just exploded.
I dont understand why. They will mandate people who most of the time could care less.
And another thing why they denied me is because I referred myself and not a professional. I would think that me wanting to go on my own would be better.
I am not goin to use.
But I have to figure something out.
Ins says I only qualify for outpatient.
I have done that already twice.
I feel so sorry for the ones that are worse off than me. And get the same reaction.
Its pretty friggin pitiful.
I will be ok for now.
I am goin to call and beg foir my job back in a couple days.
And until then figure somehting out.
I am definately goin to an NA meeting Fri or SUN.
As much as I dont like them. I have to at least really give em a try.
I know I can not do this alone or my way.

Aysha

Oh and I am ghostin..Thats why no green light.

Mariposa18

Trish I'm so sorry to hear this Sweetie! I know how badly you wanted this and I hope it gets sorted out and you can go. I don't know what to say, just know you are in my thoughts and prayers Darling~

serenityqueen

Glad you're here with us, Trish. Ok, have you signed up for outpatient? If not, do that first thing tomorrow, before you call the insurance co. Remember, you are going to any length! If you have to do outpatient, then so be it. I had done outpatient more times than I can count but I went through IOP this time, hit Meetings hard and found a ton of support. You already have several tons of support here!

Use your bull headed stubborness and determination to kick this disesases a$$ by not using. There were so many times that my sheer anger at this disease kept me going. Visualize your disease and tell it that there is no way it is going to win ever again! Use that pent up anger in a positive way by beating the crap out of this thing and taking a little more of it's power over you each and everyday by not using.

By the way, I am very proud of you for handling this the way you are. It would have been very easy to somehow find some money to get high. Us addicts have our ways, you know that. Instead of feeding into the demon, you stood up to it, one more time, and came on here where you are loved by so many.

I got my boxing gloves on for you, Trish!

Love ya,
Judy

Dee74

well ****


I can't believe the BS sometimes, Trish. I really feel for you and anyone else in that position.

I'm really proud of you, cos I know what my first reaction would have been.
Your attitude is amazing. way to go, my friend.

Somehow I know this will all work out.

hugs
D

adore79

Hi Trish, sorry to hear about this I know you were going there determined to make it work. I like SQ's suggestion of doing OP again and bring the same determination. Also the meetings are a good idea, the fact that you dont like them might be sign that you need them, that is usually the way it is for me. Hang in there hon. xx

orviske

Trish,

I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I was spending time in Fand F of A's and therefore did not see your post. I feel like an idiot for asking what was going on with you!!!! And here's a whole post!

It is so good to get connected again. I want you to know that I am here for you. If you need anything I am just a phone call away. You are strong and stubborn.....you can beat this!



HUGS!!!

K

suki44883

There are ways to get help. I don't know how it works in New York, but here in Texas, we have MHMR (Mental Health/Mental Retardation), which can supply a pdoc and all of your meds for little or nothing. My daughter uses them. She also filed for SSI (Social Security Insurance) because she can't work. That gives her medicaid, which will also pay for meds along with therapy, doctor visits, and even inpatient help, if she needs it. Look on the internet for drug rehab in whatever city you are close to. There should be several places where you can admit yourself.

seemethrough

there are no words to explain the kind of strength and courage you have shown.

suki44883

I don't know what towns or cities you live close to, but check out this link...


Addiction Search - Alcohol And Drug Abuse Information And Treatment in NY

ANGELINA243

Chi--your willingness to get some help for yourself says alot--let me tell you. I am so proud of you. I remember once being turned away from a center--a few people in the program took me there. I was upset after I was turned away. I said "Well, if they don't think I have a problem....then maybe I don't". (Deep down inside I knew I really needed help though.) Another member present said maybe it was just to see if I was willing to go through with it. I had mentioned going to treatment before but had always backed out at the last minute. I did get through it....I just did the next right best thing>put one foot in front of the other. Who knows? Perhaps there might be another opportunity at another facility soon? (should you still need to go) We don't know what the future holds...only God does (or HP--whatever you believe). I do know one thing for sure --when we use, we lose.

sfgirl

I am so sorry. I don't even know you and that sh*t has made my blood pressure rise. If I could I would go in there and fight for you. Our health insurance system is in such pitiful shape and it is the most frustrating and demoralizing thing to come up against a wall especially when you have been fighting such an internal struggle as well. I both can and cannot imagine how you felt and are feeling today.

You should check out the Salvation Army that Anna mentioned above. I didn't know they offered free rehab, that is kind of awesome. There is this program here in SF and they have other locations called Delancey Street— I don't know that much about it but it is another free program to look into. It is a rehab of sorts but a little different. You can check the website: Delancey Street Foundation - Home Otherwise I don't know much about rehabs and ways to work the system. I wish I could help more. My heart goes out to you.