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HELP NEEDED, Really Bad Day - 1 Week

Old 03-06-2009, 11:15 AM
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Exclamation HELP NEEDED, Really Bad Day - 1 Week

It is only one week, and today is a really bad day. I guess for a long time because of guilt I just really let people treat me poorly and I mean the people around me. I guess I just put up with it thinking, "I'm an alcoholic, they put up with me, so I need to just put up with them...but now sober a week, I realize what crap it is, and today I feel like my head is going to explode and I realize that alot of it is partially my own fault.

I have a toxic sister who is so damn manupulative and sends me e-mails that are really bad, and hurtful, I am a graphic artist and her son asked me to do something for him, without having anything to do with her, and she is sending me biting e-mails about due dates and being on time...none of her affair.

My son's are uncooperative and do not help and take advantage.

Normally, I would drink away these feelings of inadequacy and defeat. Please give me some helpful advise and words before I get out of work and head for the bottle.
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Old 03-06-2009, 11:24 AM
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Hi Ladyb.
It is too bad that you feel used. Perhaps you are a little too sensitive. right now.
Do not use this as an excuse to drink.
Were your sons cooperative and helpful when you were drinking? How old are they?
Can you give them a list of things that you expect them to do? are they dependant upon you for any of the money they get?
Maybe it is time to make some rules for them to folloe. I am asuming they live under your roof.
As for your sister, emails can be left unanswered if they are bothering you. It is time to stand up to her and not let her influence your recovery negatively.
You definitely don't have to drink though and you know this.
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Old 03-06-2009, 11:53 AM
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I'm sorry you are going through this. As fubarcdn said, emails can go unanswered and so can the phone for that matter. Just take care of yourself and remember that drinking will make nothing better, only worse. Good luck!
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Old 03-06-2009, 12:11 PM
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It seems like you are extremely raw and sensitive to everything around you. Of course! You have just begun your new journey and are living sober! That's a great thing, and most other recovering alcoholics I know are increasingly able to cope with reality as time goes on.

We are pulling for you lady.

Much love.
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Old 03-06-2009, 12:49 PM
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:praying FOR YOU, LADYB!!! :praying
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Old 03-06-2009, 12:54 PM
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Originally Posted by TheLadyb View Post
It is only one week, and today is a really bad day. I guess for a long time because of guilt I just really let people treat me poorly and I mean the people around me. I guess I just put up with it thinking, "I'm an alcoholic, they put up with me, so I need to just put up with them...but now sober a week, I realize what crap it is, and today I feel like my head is going to explode and I realize that alot of it is partially my own fault.

I have a toxic sister who is so damn manupulative and sends me e-mails that are really bad, and hurtful, I am a graphic artist and her son asked me to do something for him, without having anything to do with her, and she is sending me biting e-mails about due dates and being on time...none of her affair.

My son's are uncooperative and do not help and take advantage.

Normally, I would drink away these feelings of inadequacy and defeat. Please give me some helpful advise and words before I get out of work and head for the bottle.
Im sorry you are feeling like this. I know how hard it is to stay sober when you have a sister that makes it hard for one reason or another.
Hang in there & just know the nephew is the one that wanted your help!
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:27 PM
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hi lady

hi lady, i know you are going through a tough time right now, but believe me drinking on these problems will only make things a hundred times worse, you have been sober 7 days , which i think is a real achievement, you should be proud of yourself. being sober can be tough, but being a drunk is worse. just remember that when the going gets tough you have friends on SR that will support you, and whom care for you. please dont be too hard on yourself. give yourself a break . you are worth that much xx
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:33 PM
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emails can be left unanswered if they are bothering you
you can also simply not even read these emails !!

either way there are rough times as we begine to change and as we begin to wake up to what it happening around us and inside us.

keep up the good work
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:46 PM
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There is nothing so bad that alcohol can't make it worse. Just don't drink for today. Put it off. And when tomorrow becomes today, just don't drink for today.

The more sober time you have, the easier it gets. And tho it can have rough spots, our worst times sober are better than our best times drinking.

:ghug3
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:51 PM
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Hi ladyB---my name is Jali. First off let me say you have my support---it is great that you have been sober for one week---you can do this---I do not have a computer at home or I'd check in on you----you might laugh, but today is my first day to be sober---I've been drunk every night for many, many years---a heavy drinker for some four decades but dead drunk every night for 15 years----today I had it---my wife and I have been separated for three years -----she now has entered into a separation agreement that spells out a settlement------my son, who is 15, has seen me drunk for his entire life----he loves me very, very much so is supportive of my sobriety------I have joined AA.
Thank your sons for anything good they have done for you at any time----maybe there can be reconciliation---------when I have been sober one week, I'm going to write you---by the by a Jali is the name given to a type of music from west Africa that I play on an instrument called a Kora---also have played guitar, banjo,. mandolin and sitar since the 1960's---I'm in your corner-----think great thoughts tonight--you're a good person or you would not be here---this will be a hard night for me----I've drank and played music every night since the late 60's-----here comes the first step toward a healthier lifestyle
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:56 PM
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My Friend,
Lets focus on the assistance that you need for the problems in your life. We can all make a change with some help and some changes. I am sometimes the dart board for my parents issues, and they live 3 hours from me, I know how hard it is to deal with others when our cup is overflowing.
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Old 03-06-2009, 09:13 PM
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Thanks so much for posting. I know how you feel. I won't say that drinking will make these your situation WORSE, but it certainly will help them remain unchanged.
You used to numb yourself out with alcohol to avoid these bad feelings, now you're not drinking and everything is very real right now.
I have a very toxic sister myself who really threatens my sobriety and sanity when I'm around her and so I had to cut off all ties with her. I highly recommend this.
It sounds like your sister is really infringing on your well-being and I would recommend cut her off and like others have said don't answer any more emails or phone calls for awhile.
Thanks for posting and I look forward to seeing you around some more!
Hang around here and you will find the kind of family that you deserve.
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Old 03-06-2009, 09:21 PM
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Good advice you've been given so far here. I won't repeat it all - just wanted to let you know I agree and wish you well.

Congratulations on a sober week.
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Old 03-06-2009, 09:40 PM
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Welcome. I'm so glad you are here.

Drinking never made anything better for me. You're doing awesome, just go minute by minute if you have to. Keep coming here. I love it. I can read and post 24/7 if I need to.
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