Day 6, so many new things
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 98
Day 6, so many new things
How did I live so drunk for so long?
How did I do my job, be a mother, work at a charity?
I realize now that my disease was so selfish. I have neglected my 14 year old son who needs me so badly. He has learning disabilities so I just let him fail and did not help him. Drank away the guilt thinking he was hopeless and the school should deal with him. I was always waking up late, mad, inpatient, cause I had to drive him to school...out the door, no breakfast, messy, teeth unbrushed cause he was so rushed....and then today, as I dropped him off, I saw the other kids getting out of the car, with their lunches in brown bags, and I realized that I haven't made him lunch all year, I would rather put money on his card, cause I am selfish.
I thought my drinking hurt no one, even when he asked me to stop, and cried when he could not wake me up on the couch, or would beg me to come to bed as for some reason, he thought if I was in bed,,,then I was ok. Now when I punish him for bad behavior, he is shocked that all week, sober, I stuck to the punishment, and did his homework with him...and studied with him and made sure things were done correctly. Because in the past, I would get drunk, forget the punishment and let him sit on the computer or video games all night. both of us escaping the horrible truth of neglect.
Today, I straightened up the house before I left for work, so he does not come home to a sloppy house. Because I alway put dinner on the table, I thought that was enough...and I was put upon and had to work. Even after my husband got a cleaning later every two weeks, I still couldn't keep the house together.
There is so much coming to light for me now, and this is a scary time, because this is usually when I surcome and drink...day 6, 7 or 8 are the worst.
Love,
THe lady:praying
How did I do my job, be a mother, work at a charity?
I realize now that my disease was so selfish. I have neglected my 14 year old son who needs me so badly. He has learning disabilities so I just let him fail and did not help him. Drank away the guilt thinking he was hopeless and the school should deal with him. I was always waking up late, mad, inpatient, cause I had to drive him to school...out the door, no breakfast, messy, teeth unbrushed cause he was so rushed....and then today, as I dropped him off, I saw the other kids getting out of the car, with their lunches in brown bags, and I realized that I haven't made him lunch all year, I would rather put money on his card, cause I am selfish.
I thought my drinking hurt no one, even when he asked me to stop, and cried when he could not wake me up on the couch, or would beg me to come to bed as for some reason, he thought if I was in bed,,,then I was ok. Now when I punish him for bad behavior, he is shocked that all week, sober, I stuck to the punishment, and did his homework with him...and studied with him and made sure things were done correctly. Because in the past, I would get drunk, forget the punishment and let him sit on the computer or video games all night. both of us escaping the horrible truth of neglect.
Today, I straightened up the house before I left for work, so he does not come home to a sloppy house. Because I alway put dinner on the table, I thought that was enough...and I was put upon and had to work. Even after my husband got a cleaning later every two weeks, I still couldn't keep the house together.
There is so much coming to light for me now, and this is a scary time, because this is usually when I surcome and drink...day 6, 7 or 8 are the worst.
Love,
THe lady:praying
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
I'm a lil awestruck by your post/thread! I relate wholeheartedly! LadyB.... I'm hugging you huge right now! :ghug3
I'm SOOOOOO glad you're here! Tough dayz are right here and now,..... but YOU CAN get through to the other side!
Your son?..... God bless him! He's got an angel of a mommy today!
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 16
Please dont stop for him, my mom menr stop for me wvwn when I woke her up n her own pee passed out o n the floor every night when I was his age and then at 17 she left our family. Now yesterday my husbands asks me to stop drinking becasue he has been woth me sicne high school, knew her, and asked me not to be like her , please dont. I am trying so haard right now please keep t up with me.
I am in so much painb and I have to go to a job interview on a recommendation for I have bothering a person I previousy worked for to give and he finally gave it the day I dtopped drinking I got the call. How does that happen?
I am in so much painb and I have to go to a job interview on a recommendation for I have bothering a person I previousy worked for to give and he finally gave it the day I dtopped drinking I got the call. How does that happen?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
lady.......ahhhhh.....that is a fanstatic post...
Im having a grey day today..reading that has lifted me back up.
Hearing about your son and how its changed.
Imagine how your son feels........to have mom back..
You truly are a miracle...........god be with you and your family...trucker.
Im having a grey day today..reading that has lifted me back up.
Hearing about your son and how its changed.
Imagine how your son feels........to have mom back..
You truly are a miracle...........god be with you and your family...trucker.
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