Has anyone ever gone to sober livivng?
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Has anyone ever gone to sober livivng?
I would like to hear some experiences of people who have done this.
I already know a condition of me staying in treatment for the full month will include sober livivng afterwards. I was made to leave by my ins last time after a week because I wouldnt do it. I need to do any and evrything asked of me to benefit fully from this stay.
I would like to know.
Whats it like?
How much freeeodm do you have?
What is expected of you?
Do they allow you to find a job?
Just whatever I should know.
I am scared to do this for some reason. I know most sober houses are right in the middle of the chaos. I am sure I could look out the window and see everything it is I am trying to get away from. I guess that may be the point tho. I dont know. Any way..Any insight is apreciated.
I already know a condition of me staying in treatment for the full month will include sober livivng afterwards. I was made to leave by my ins last time after a week because I wouldnt do it. I need to do any and evrything asked of me to benefit fully from this stay.
I would like to know.
Whats it like?
How much freeeodm do you have?
What is expected of you?
Do they allow you to find a job?
Just whatever I should know.
I am scared to do this for some reason. I know most sober houses are right in the middle of the chaos. I am sure I could look out the window and see everything it is I am trying to get away from. I guess that may be the point tho. I dont know. Any way..Any insight is apreciated.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
imho - they can be a real positive transition. i would support anyone in doing it. i wish there were MORE sober living facilities. even in our big city, hard to find!
my daughter stayed in 2 - first one was actually a 3/4 house (hazelton place) and they had a lot of freedom - late curfews, onights approved, etc. they even let the folks there work in places that served alcohol, which surprised me. male/female on different floors and all ages. she had to go to meetings - both aa and house counsel meetings. they did random drug testing. no tolerence, first violation out on the street with no real back up plan.
2nd one was after her 2nd rehab and it was sponsored by the place she had been in there in treatment. more rules, more meetings, had to have breakfast meetings each day with her treatment counselors, earlier curfews, etc. it was a nice support group, since the folks she was living with were folks she had met in treatment. that one was set up with women in one apt and men in another down the road. they would take folks that relapsed back to treatment, if the insurance/money was there.
we looked at a lot of them and found each place was very different. so ask all your questions about each place, and weigh out what you need.
hope that helps! k
my daughter stayed in 2 - first one was actually a 3/4 house (hazelton place) and they had a lot of freedom - late curfews, onights approved, etc. they even let the folks there work in places that served alcohol, which surprised me. male/female on different floors and all ages. she had to go to meetings - both aa and house counsel meetings. they did random drug testing. no tolerence, first violation out on the street with no real back up plan.
2nd one was after her 2nd rehab and it was sponsored by the place she had been in there in treatment. more rules, more meetings, had to have breakfast meetings each day with her treatment counselors, earlier curfews, etc. it was a nice support group, since the folks she was living with were folks she had met in treatment. that one was set up with women in one apt and men in another down the road. they would take folks that relapsed back to treatment, if the insurance/money was there.
we looked at a lot of them and found each place was very different. so ask all your questions about each place, and weigh out what you need.
hope that helps! k
Retired Pro Drunk
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
I lived in a sober house for 4 months a couple years ago. Great experience, would do it again.
In my area, there are lots of sober houses and they all had different rules.
Also - a "sober house" in my area consists of a sober living environment, usually a large house with anywhere from 6-14 people, where everyone in the house is in a recovery program for alcoholism/drug addiction. There are no medical services provided.
For the house I was in:
You were expected to get full-time work, go to school, and/or volunteer (or any combination of that to take up 30-40 hours per week) as soon as possible.
We didn't have curfews while I was there, but that changed after I left. 10 or 11 PM on weeknights and 12-1 AM on weekends was typical. And this was flexible for people with work schedules that conflicted etc.
Everyone was assigned a chore that rotated each week. Chores didn't take any longer than 30 mins per day, if that. Things like sweep/mop the kitchen. Take out the garbage. Cig butt police outside. General cleaning stuff.
Each floor had its own bathroom. The guys on each floor were collectively responsible for their bathroom cleaning.
Everyone did their own dishes. No dirty dishes were allowed to be left in the sink at any time. Kitchens were shared.
Attend 3 outside AA/NA meetings per week, plus one in-house meeting per week.
Have a sponsor.
No drugs/booze allowed.
Opposite sex folks were not allowed in your rooms. But we could have guests pretty much at any time so long as they didn't disturb your roommates.
"Quiet time" would conicide with curfew. But this didn't mean lights out or anything. It was more about not disturbing your roommates at night.
We were allowed to have TVs and computers in our rooms if we wanted. House had cable hookups and high-speed internet included with rent.
My rent was $550 per month. That included all utilities, pretty much everything. There was also a $20 per month incidental payment that went toward coffee for the house, paper towels, light bulbs, etc. I had my own room. But I understand this is uncommon. Most other folks I knew usually had to share a room with one other person.
No gambling in the house.
The house had a "house manager." This was someone with at least one year of sobriety. They sort of took care of whatever, assigned chores, conflict resolution. They would also administer UAs at their discretion with or without cause. Any refusal to take a UA was considered to be a positive test result.
Folks had to provide the house manager with their regular schedule. Not every living moment, just generally - work from 8-4, meeting at 6, etc.
You had to let the manager know if you were not going to be staying at the house on any given night. This was subject to his approval, but as long as there was a legitimate reason (even going on vacation to visit family or whatever) was fine.
You were expected to check in with the house mananger every day you were not staying at the house.
Come and go as you please during the day/night. Just check in if missing curfew and have a decent reason.
Like I said, great experience. The guys I lived with were great. Made some lasting friendships. There was a little drama here and there, but it was mostly petty stuff. Things never festered long and gosh hashed out during weekly house meetings usually.
Edit to add: the recommendation from my counselor at rehab was stay 3 months. After 3 I wanted to stay longer, so I stayed a 4th month. I wanted to stay a 5th or even 6th, but I had family responsibilities and it really was time for me to move back home. If I was single, I would probably still be living there.
In my area, there are lots of sober houses and they all had different rules.
Also - a "sober house" in my area consists of a sober living environment, usually a large house with anywhere from 6-14 people, where everyone in the house is in a recovery program for alcoholism/drug addiction. There are no medical services provided.
For the house I was in:
You were expected to get full-time work, go to school, and/or volunteer (or any combination of that to take up 30-40 hours per week) as soon as possible.
We didn't have curfews while I was there, but that changed after I left. 10 or 11 PM on weeknights and 12-1 AM on weekends was typical. And this was flexible for people with work schedules that conflicted etc.
Everyone was assigned a chore that rotated each week. Chores didn't take any longer than 30 mins per day, if that. Things like sweep/mop the kitchen. Take out the garbage. Cig butt police outside. General cleaning stuff.
Each floor had its own bathroom. The guys on each floor were collectively responsible for their bathroom cleaning.
Everyone did their own dishes. No dirty dishes were allowed to be left in the sink at any time. Kitchens were shared.
Attend 3 outside AA/NA meetings per week, plus one in-house meeting per week.
Have a sponsor.
No drugs/booze allowed.
Opposite sex folks were not allowed in your rooms. But we could have guests pretty much at any time so long as they didn't disturb your roommates.
"Quiet time" would conicide with curfew. But this didn't mean lights out or anything. It was more about not disturbing your roommates at night.
We were allowed to have TVs and computers in our rooms if we wanted. House had cable hookups and high-speed internet included with rent.
My rent was $550 per month. That included all utilities, pretty much everything. There was also a $20 per month incidental payment that went toward coffee for the house, paper towels, light bulbs, etc. I had my own room. But I understand this is uncommon. Most other folks I knew usually had to share a room with one other person.
No gambling in the house.
The house had a "house manager." This was someone with at least one year of sobriety. They sort of took care of whatever, assigned chores, conflict resolution. They would also administer UAs at their discretion with or without cause. Any refusal to take a UA was considered to be a positive test result.
Folks had to provide the house manager with their regular schedule. Not every living moment, just generally - work from 8-4, meeting at 6, etc.
You had to let the manager know if you were not going to be staying at the house on any given night. This was subject to his approval, but as long as there was a legitimate reason (even going on vacation to visit family or whatever) was fine.
You were expected to check in with the house mananger every day you were not staying at the house.
Come and go as you please during the day/night. Just check in if missing curfew and have a decent reason.
Like I said, great experience. The guys I lived with were great. Made some lasting friendships. There was a little drama here and there, but it was mostly petty stuff. Things never festered long and gosh hashed out during weekly house meetings usually.
Edit to add: the recommendation from my counselor at rehab was stay 3 months. After 3 I wanted to stay longer, so I stayed a 4th month. I wanted to stay a 5th or even 6th, but I had family responsibilities and it really was time for me to move back home. If I was single, I would probably still be living there.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I wont be paying for my sober living. It is state funded and the ones I will be offered are in a big drug city. And most of them are right in the middle of the madness. I am not sure what any of them are about. It would be great if I got my own room. But I know thats not goin to happen. I would be looking for one with a small occupancy. Thats why I am goin to the rehab I am goin to. Not that many people. MAybe 10 to 15 tops. 20 at the most.
First rehab I went top had 40 women on one floor. 3 people to a room. OMG..I hated it there. Too much high school drama. It was like being in jail. I dont like being around alot of people.
I wont know until I go and am offered. Last time I didnt want to hear anything about it. I wasnt going. I think they take you to visit for a day at the house before you go too.
This week is goin soooo slow. I wish Mon would get here already so I can get this show on the road.
Thx for your replies
First rehab I went top had 40 women on one floor. 3 people to a room. OMG..I hated it there. Too much high school drama. It was like being in jail. I dont like being around alot of people.
I wont know until I go and am offered. Last time I didnt want to hear anything about it. I wasnt going. I think they take you to visit for a day at the house before you go too.
This week is goin soooo slow. I wish Mon would get here already so I can get this show on the road.
Thx for your replies
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
i doubt you'll have a private room 
but i guess you can HOPE..
just make the most of it, chiy. you're lucky to be given the opportunity. and if it helps you stay clean, really really worth it.
proud of you.
hugs, k
but i guess you can HOPE.. just make the most of it, chiy. you're lucky to be given the opportunity. and if it helps you stay clean, really really worth it.
proud of you.
hugs, k
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