Might night last night p.s. dont start drinking if you dont want to go through this
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Might night last night p.s. dont start drinking if you dont want to go through this
So here a story for you that I want to write about for you so that I can share my experience of what my first night witout drinking in at least a year was. Well my daughter is 2 and 1/2 so to be hones at least 2 and 1/2 years slowly strating, only having drink beer and with my husband and best frind of 15 years (I am 32). I first must apoligize of any spelling errors as I am using a laptop I dont normally use ans the keys are space differently then the one I normally use so it causes errors and I dont have time to fix them this morning becasue I have to go so an interview for a 2nd job, so we can keep our house becasue the Dr's office I work for is now closing a week so I can do facials (I have an esthetics license) on that day and Sayurdays (goodbye weekends)
The I am trying to focus on the alcohol but will tell you that also pregressivly since I had my daughter and they gave me Percoct (for NO reason) I had no pain, an easy labor, no C-sec. but a husband who loves pain pills once in a while but the last 2 and 1/2 years have been a crazy fog that had lead us botj to a pain clinic that prescribes us both up to 80 mg's a day oxycontin and 48 each percocet each every 3 weeks. Obviously the ox's are crushed and snorted sooner and sooner and the percocets are just taken when that is gone to hold us over to the next time we go to the Dr. Well we cant go to hoim anymore becasue I am stopping the madness....I was so wacked out I quit my well paying job for another better paying job (and new something was wrong with my back becasue my husband had been peeling me off the bed for 6 monts and I knew I had a degenerated disk nothing to be done that helped I felt fine throughout my 14 hour days of work but mornings were hell. Isntead of taking a medica leave andreturning to the job I love I took another one and was going to prove myself for about 6 months and get on their insurance and then have the surgery I needed. Well my body had another plan and I woke up paralyzed form the waist down and needed emergency spinal fusion so I couls walk, and I could he cvery next day THANK GOD, but I lost the job, my old one tried to place me but they alreay hired someone in my pklace and there we a fer people with how abrubtly i left, but I was taking higher doses of pain meds and I bet if I foungt a little harder they would have found somehting for me but I though I had another job to go back to as they wished me well into surgery, told me to take care of mysef and then I would start fresh with them (I had only worked 1 day) now (b/c I know I have no job there) I have caled 100's pf times to the regional manager that hired me, the HR manager, the locaiton I was supposed to wrok at all who do not take my calls and completey ignore me. So I now work for 1/3 of what I used to and need a 2nd job to keep house hence 2nd interview today. Luckily the Dr I a major ******* and loves the fact that I have dealt with his type and keep coming back redargless of his harrasement (no offense to anyone of middle easter decent) but he is Pakistanian and he says the rudest things about woman and that s everyone that works there so no one will work for him, tells people to shut up when he is talking, used to offer it makes the same $ he used to becasue I do his books and cut everyones pay and pulled insurance "becasue of the economy excuse" except for his "girlfriend" second wife obviously that he pays VERY well and provides with insurance, but I dont mind becasue after my surgery I could get a job anywhere AT ALL for 3 months and I was looking for 6-8 hours a day 6 days a week and I work in a VERY specialized field so I could always get a job in a day or 2 before when needed in high management, now that those businesses are faiing and I f-d up and burnt too many bridges, I must work with this jerk and do the job 5 people used to do but he lets me take days off to whenever I want (becasue he doesnt want to pay me) basically in the week and on surgery day as long as I show up I am good and I guess thats the type of a job a drug addict and alcoholic needs? OK so thats out and my head hurts.
I guess I just needed that rant, so now to today, right now I havent drank (my usualy 6-16) beers last night along with 2-8 somas, up to 160 mg oxy snorted, 6 percs, 6 klonapin, which are prescribed for recreational use, if you know what I mean.
Well yesterday my husband who has been my partner in crime for all fo these years told me I HAD to stop drinking I told him then he= HAD to stop taking pills, each our preference. Then he pulls as usual, no body can tell he is taking the pills and I am getting really bad with drinking (which I appreciate him telling me b/c my mother is a alcholic who left my family to persue drinking to full time my senior year og HS and sice i have been with him since then I asked to not ever let me get like her) so yester he said I was, falling over every night, surring, not attractive. I did not know because when I would drink beer after I dropped my daughter off at daycare and had an etire day to myself to drink I would start at 8:30 am drinking beer and drink all day until he came home and wouldt be that messed up so by the night time after the oxy and whatever else I would be a wreck. I have been feeling immense guilt becaue I assist this Dr with surgery 1 day every week and feel really bad for the people we are. Sorry my husband just called and I have to finish this later becasue I have to go to the interview and I haveint even showered yet. oops
The I am trying to focus on the alcohol but will tell you that also pregressivly since I had my daughter and they gave me Percoct (for NO reason) I had no pain, an easy labor, no C-sec. but a husband who loves pain pills once in a while but the last 2 and 1/2 years have been a crazy fog that had lead us botj to a pain clinic that prescribes us both up to 80 mg's a day oxycontin and 48 each percocet each every 3 weeks. Obviously the ox's are crushed and snorted sooner and sooner and the percocets are just taken when that is gone to hold us over to the next time we go to the Dr. Well we cant go to hoim anymore becasue I am stopping the madness....I was so wacked out I quit my well paying job for another better paying job (and new something was wrong with my back becasue my husband had been peeling me off the bed for 6 monts and I knew I had a degenerated disk nothing to be done that helped I felt fine throughout my 14 hour days of work but mornings were hell. Isntead of taking a medica leave andreturning to the job I love I took another one and was going to prove myself for about 6 months and get on their insurance and then have the surgery I needed. Well my body had another plan and I woke up paralyzed form the waist down and needed emergency spinal fusion so I couls walk, and I could he cvery next day THANK GOD, but I lost the job, my old one tried to place me but they alreay hired someone in my pklace and there we a fer people with how abrubtly i left, but I was taking higher doses of pain meds and I bet if I foungt a little harder they would have found somehting for me but I though I had another job to go back to as they wished me well into surgery, told me to take care of mysef and then I would start fresh with them (I had only worked 1 day) now (b/c I know I have no job there) I have caled 100's pf times to the regional manager that hired me, the HR manager, the locaiton I was supposed to wrok at all who do not take my calls and completey ignore me. So I now work for 1/3 of what I used to and need a 2nd job to keep house hence 2nd interview today. Luckily the Dr I a major ******* and loves the fact that I have dealt with his type and keep coming back redargless of his harrasement (no offense to anyone of middle easter decent) but he is Pakistanian and he says the rudest things about woman and that s everyone that works there so no one will work for him, tells people to shut up when he is talking, used to offer it makes the same $ he used to becasue I do his books and cut everyones pay and pulled insurance "becasue of the economy excuse" except for his "girlfriend" second wife obviously that he pays VERY well and provides with insurance, but I dont mind becasue after my surgery I could get a job anywhere AT ALL for 3 months and I was looking for 6-8 hours a day 6 days a week and I work in a VERY specialized field so I could always get a job in a day or 2 before when needed in high management, now that those businesses are faiing and I f-d up and burnt too many bridges, I must work with this jerk and do the job 5 people used to do but he lets me take days off to whenever I want (becasue he doesnt want to pay me) basically in the week and on surgery day as long as I show up I am good and I guess thats the type of a job a drug addict and alcoholic needs? OK so thats out and my head hurts.
I guess I just needed that rant, so now to today, right now I havent drank (my usualy 6-16) beers last night along with 2-8 somas, up to 160 mg oxy snorted, 6 percs, 6 klonapin, which are prescribed for recreational use, if you know what I mean.
Well yesterday my husband who has been my partner in crime for all fo these years told me I HAD to stop drinking I told him then he= HAD to stop taking pills, each our preference. Then he pulls as usual, no body can tell he is taking the pills and I am getting really bad with drinking (which I appreciate him telling me b/c my mother is a alcholic who left my family to persue drinking to full time my senior year og HS and sice i have been with him since then I asked to not ever let me get like her) so yester he said I was, falling over every night, surring, not attractive. I did not know because when I would drink beer after I dropped my daughter off at daycare and had an etire day to myself to drink I would start at 8:30 am drinking beer and drink all day until he came home and wouldt be that messed up so by the night time after the oxy and whatever else I would be a wreck. I have been feeling immense guilt becaue I assist this Dr with surgery 1 day every week and feel really bad for the people we are. Sorry my husband just called and I have to finish this later becasue I have to go to the interview and I haveint even showered yet. oops
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