PaperDolls

This thread and the raw emotion helps me remember what I put my loved ones through. It reminds me of all the excuses I made and the denial I was in and the hopelessness I felt.

I hope it helps all of us remember. Never forget the pain and look toward the promises. That's what I try to do.

Katie -- I hope you've made it to treatment. I really wish you well.


P.S. Jim - It's possible you made a liar out of someone. I probably did. We were once hopeless and now we're miracles. :ghug3

jimhere

Actually I proved them right. They knew that I would not be willing to do whatever it took to stay sober for good until I ran out of every good idea and option that I had.

Amazonqueen522

Jim,

Thank you for your posting, for me I need to hear it like it is......right to the point......


Living one day at a time, hoping to get better each day................:ghug3

jimhere

Thanks. I'm grateful that my ramblings helped someone.

I think I'll bow out of this thread. It appears to have about ran its course.
Jim

Katie09

Nope, Katie is here back for more. Unfortunately, another place came up as an option, although I am quite sick of options. As any of you know, who have searched all over the country for options, it is exhausting. It's getting to the point wherein I can't take my friend's fine tooth comb. Nonetheless, he wakes up and brushes my pets with my favorite brush, I might add, and takes care of them. I am tired. Each day there seems to be better options, but I am getting tired to the point where I am saying just sign me up for such and such. Sure, I may have blown the few thousand dollars, and am such a stickler for that that this may become an issue.

Now this other place comes along, but I already agreed to some discloser on the Net for the place in FL. As I am not an attorney, I don't know what stands in court. However, that is secondary to the real deal at hand. However, my friend is the kind of guy who leaves no stone unturned. Bottom line, I need help and will get it. It's not like he is going to run out on me or anything, but he does have a wife. And the only thing I want to do with her is exchange salad recipes (big cook here - at least I used to be). So he's hanging around and only wants the best care for me. Price is arbitary for me at this point, but it's getting to the point I don't care. Of course I have to care, as I am not made of millions. Well, Katie signing off as I have to...As always, thanks for your support, but Katie is fading fast....

Dee74

Katie

there's shopping for a good deal and like the Townes Van Sant song goes, there's 'waiting around to die...'

My advice is cut your losses and go with FL. It's there waiting.

It's your call, not your friends. Make it and make it now.
D

Lenina

Katie,

There's a Danish philosopher and poet who has some wise words:

"Living is a thing you do.

Now or never, which do you?"

Piet Hein

Please take care of yourself.

Love,

Lenina

Gypsy Feet

Katie thank you for reminding me.
When I drank, I made very little sense.
When I drank, I had an excuse for everything.
When I drank, I taxed the emotions of people who cared, because I didn't.

Thank you for reminding me of some of the many reasons I do not want to be a drunk.

mikel60

There is a term used in Boston (and I'm sure elsewhere). It's kind of a sad and scary term...terminally unique.

You're not different, Katie. You're not a special case that is too much for this forum. You're a drunk. So am I and countless others here.

Get thee to rehab... any rehab. Just please do something.

Mike

firestorm090

The expense of any rehab is worth the priceless gift of sobriety.

Being a drunk will take all of your money, your friends, family, career, home, health and eventually your life. I know all of this firsthand, except I'm still alive. After two major heart attacks, and two major surgeries, I'm still alive. This is my only second chance.

I hope you don't wait till you've been brought back to life twice with defibrillators, which happened to me, before you make your decision.

By getting help now, you may be able to skip some of these devastating experiences. If you think it's bad now, don't push it. The bottle is much stronger than you may think.

Anna

Katie,

I am stepping away from this thread.

Good luck!

least

If Katie is fading fast, then I hope Katie will do what's necessary to stop this sickness before she fades away entirely. I can't watch this any more. I must say, tho, that I am more focused on my sobriety after reading thru this thread. I don't want to go down the road you're on right now. I'll stay sober for myself and my dogs cause I don't want to die from this and abandon those I love.

yeahgr8

Wow firestorm powerful post, just wanted to say thanks!

KenL

Katie,

You've always been candid, both with me and with the posts you've replied to. That shows honesty. You've knowingly posted here and elsewhere that there were going to be people who would say things that were judgemental about you and what you're doing. You did it anyway. That shows integrity. You are facing this problem you have and are willing to leave your home and your security. That shows courage. In my opinion, you're a far better person than some of the people I have ever met or have seen words from. I wish you well on your journey.

Peace,
Ken

Aysha

All I can say is. You will see what everyone here is trying to say to you someday. Hopefully.
I guess I too am growing tired.
I am not telling you what I am posting because I think I know it all. Or I think I know whats best for you. I have no idea what your life is like.
But it doesnt take rocket science to see what many of us here have done so many times before.
And me ..I am going through as we speak.
I agree you are not a special case. Your story isnt unique. In fact it is typical of alot who were exactly where you are right now.
We all started somewhere.
Alot of this comes from people who have seen it. Lived it. And dont want to see another go through what they have.
But like my dad told me. Sometimes you gotta let people find out for themselves. I just hope it doesnt take a tragedy to make you wake up. Or not wake up. If you get my drift.
I have alot of thoughts as to your friend. But I will keep that to myself. Because the only one who matters in this thread is you.
I do know what others are saying about stepping away. Its like talking to a wall really.
So it makes me wonder why you keep coming here. When you already know where alot of us stand.
When you put your business on front street like we do here. Expect all types of feedback.
But to get support of all kinds and just pick and choose which ones youlike and dont like.
Whats the point then?
Everyone here has been where you are. Some of us have fallen so much further than you could ever imagine. I could go on and on at the lows I have had. What drugs have made me do. Not showering for a wekk and leaving dog **** everywhere would have been a blessing compared to where my addiction has taken me.
I am not special either. I wish I never went to the places in my addiction that I have.
This all seems so dramatic anymore.
I hope only the best for you. I am not washing my hands of this. I am just goin to let you learn it for yourself I guess. Afetr all..Most knowledge comes from experience.
But..I really dont know what else anyone can say to you.
So you and your "friend" can keep going through it all with a fine tooth comb. I doubt it will find what has already been shared with you here.
Which is real life and death experience from all of us who have been or are right where you are now.
Its really sad.
I need to focus my energy on myself now. As I am as sick as you right now.
How can you help someone when they wont reach back and take your hand?
Good Luck Katie.
I hope when I come out of my little state funded rehab. The one closest and readily available to me. That you have made a life changing decision for the better.

LosingmyMisery

When are you leaving for treatment. Your friend flew in on the 2-28-09 and has been haggling for days. When are you leaving for rehab? Time is wasting...