amirose

Hi, thank you for this site, I have been reading a lot on here the past few days! I'm coming back from a relapse with pills and have been alternately using,drinking alcohol, white knuckling for months at a time...I am now so sick of myself and I do not want to go all the way back down into the pit where I know I'm headed. I'm wondering if it matters if I go to AA, NA or both?? I know I am an addict (painkillers), and not sure if I am an alcoholic. Can you be an alcoholic if alcohol is not your drug of choice? Although I definitely enjoy getting a good buzz, I always preferred the opiates BY FAR. There are many more AA meetings in my area( and during the time when my kids are at school), and I actually just found a sponsor at an AA mtg who is an alcoholic and addict. But my experience is mainly with pills--will I be able to help others at AA? Do you think I should try harder/go to more inconvenient times in order to go to NA?? Or does it matter? Thank you in advance.

AlkalikeH

Hi Amirose!

I think that the main thing is already covered: you want to get well.

That is the start. Then the options are there. Why don´t you go ahead
and try with AA and the sponsor you have found? Could work out

I am going to give my opinion here: is all about the abuse, no matter the substance.

So you need to take care of that no matter if its AA, NA, SMART, etc.

All the best of luck with it!

mle-sober

Hey - Welcome to SR! Glad you found us and hope you stick around.

You can definitely and for sure be an alcoholic without alcohol being your drug of choice. I know at least 3 people like that I can think of off the top of my head.

Good for you for making a decision to get help and get into recovery. That's the main thing, like AlkalikeH said above.

I would go to AA since that's what you have readily available and accessible RIGHT NOW. It's funny how our brains can make up all sorts of reasons why we shouldn't do the next right thing in recovery. Like, for instance, saying "I should go to NA instead of AA and there's no convenient mtgs for me."

I've never been to NA. I'm a drunk, through and through. I love my AA mtgs. They've been an enormous, tremendous source of strength and encouragement for me. And also, entertainment sometimes! And, wisdom, inspiration, amazement, comfort, and hope. (Does that about cover it?) ( :

One of the most amazing aspects of AA, for me, is witnessing the recovery of so many diverse people. So, you would fit right in at my home mtg. Hope yours is as powerful as mine. And congrats on your new life!

least

AA would be a good place to start. See how it goes after a few meetings. Glad you joined our family!:ghug3

amirose

Thank you all for the welcome! I think I'll be good if I can STOP thinking so much!! I have been going to meetings almost every day but last week I went and got drunk right after a meeting! I am afraid I won't stay committed and I'll just fail again. I'm afraid I'll talk myself out of trying to get better bc I've been sporadic in my using the last couple of years; WHY can't I just be grateful it hasn't gotten that bad again instead of turning it around in my mind---maybe I'm not that bad, I can still drink bc I'm only an addict, etc, etc,. I really feel like I am driving myself crazy sometimes.