Not New, but Continuing the Struggle
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
Not New, but Continuing the Struggle
Hello, all.
I am trying to stop drinking as much as I've been. It's become both my favorite and primary way to smooth the difficulties of life. I am not a group help kind of person nor do I believe in AA. I believe if your life isn't working for you anymore than you have to do something to fix the situation. While on the surface my life seems pretty perfect, I know how much I have sacrificed for alcohol. I am on vacation away from most of the stress that prompted me to start drinking in the first place and am trying to take the opportunity to reset my life and remove alcohol. I am in the best possible situation I could be in to stop drinking. I have, but so far I've felt so angry that another good thing has been taken from me. Drinking was my quiet space to think and rest. Now, it's gone and I am so angry that I am almost worse off than I was in the busy city that I lived in with the extremely intense job that I have.
I have read enough of these post to know that people will tell you to reach out to friends and family and find support. That is not an option for me for reasons I will not elaborate upon here. I don't believe in AA. We are not powerless. We are lost, but not powerless. How in the world would we expect to fight a thing like this by admitting we were without the power to fight? That is nonsensical to me. In short, this is my job to do.
The reason I wrote this here was to hear from people for whom this resonates. I am hoping someone can help me see through this anger to find a happy way to be sober.
Again, and I cannot stress this enough, don't write me and tell me how powerless we all are. AA is the substitution of one addiction (alcohol) for another (endless group meetings). My goal is independence.
Thanks for reading.
I am trying to stop drinking as much as I've been. It's become both my favorite and primary way to smooth the difficulties of life. I am not a group help kind of person nor do I believe in AA. I believe if your life isn't working for you anymore than you have to do something to fix the situation. While on the surface my life seems pretty perfect, I know how much I have sacrificed for alcohol. I am on vacation away from most of the stress that prompted me to start drinking in the first place and am trying to take the opportunity to reset my life and remove alcohol. I am in the best possible situation I could be in to stop drinking. I have, but so far I've felt so angry that another good thing has been taken from me. Drinking was my quiet space to think and rest. Now, it's gone and I am so angry that I am almost worse off than I was in the busy city that I lived in with the extremely intense job that I have.
I have read enough of these post to know that people will tell you to reach out to friends and family and find support. That is not an option for me for reasons I will not elaborate upon here. I don't believe in AA. We are not powerless. We are lost, but not powerless. How in the world would we expect to fight a thing like this by admitting we were without the power to fight? That is nonsensical to me. In short, this is my job to do.
The reason I wrote this here was to hear from people for whom this resonates. I am hoping someone can help me see through this anger to find a happy way to be sober.
Again, and I cannot stress this enough, don't write me and tell me how powerless we all are. AA is the substitution of one addiction (alcohol) for another (endless group meetings). My goal is independence.
Thanks for reading.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,448
Hi and Welcome,
I definitely do get a sense of your anger.
AA is a great program and works for many people. It may not work for you, and that's fine. However you find your way to sobriety is great, as long as it works for you. Personally, I do not use AA, but I was indeed powerless. I spent a year determined to control my drinking, and not only could I not do that, but it got worse. And, even though I was powerless over alcohol, I did fight. The two things are not exclusive of each other. I have fought to say my life and to save myself and have been sober for many years.
In my opinion, drinking is a symptom. The underlying problems still have to be dealth with. Removing alcohol from your life will not solve all your problems. You will need to find a way to confront your anger, whatever the issues are and to deal with them. I think that is the road to a peaceful life.
I definitely do get a sense of your anger.
AA is a great program and works for many people. It may not work for you, and that's fine. However you find your way to sobriety is great, as long as it works for you. Personally, I do not use AA, but I was indeed powerless. I spent a year determined to control my drinking, and not only could I not do that, but it got worse. And, even though I was powerless over alcohol, I did fight. The two things are not exclusive of each other. I have fought to say my life and to save myself and have been sober for many years.
In my opinion, drinking is a symptom. The underlying problems still have to be dealth with. Removing alcohol from your life will not solve all your problems. You will need to find a way to confront your anger, whatever the issues are and to deal with them. I think that is the road to a peaceful life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ireland
Posts: 7
It can be hard to have the things in life that you did enjoy to be taken away from you, It may seem to you like your the only one around that has the same problem. There are many in the same situation. Maybe stop one addiction and take up another addiction but this time a healthier one like going the gym or whatever. Time is a healer as well.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Welcome, Dogmamma. I can relate to much of what you posted. You might wanna have a look at the Secular Connections forum. Nobody will tell you that you are powerless or that it is imperative that you go to AA. 
DK
DK
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome to SR.
I am new to sobriety also and am trying to use this forum for my support system. In addition to this I have added a diet and exercise program and these certainly relieve the stress.
As Anna said it is likely there are some underlying issues and I plan on working on those next.
If you decide you want to quit you can if you put the time and effort into it.
Good luck.
I am new to sobriety also and am trying to use this forum for my support system. In addition to this I have added a diet and exercise program and these certainly relieve the stress.
As Anna said it is likely there are some underlying issues and I plan on working on those next.
If you decide you want to quit you can if you put the time and effort into it.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 83
Hi Dog,
Thanks for your post. I like diversity. For whatever it's worth, I was angry that I was going to have to quit drinking. I have a HIGH stressful job and my relaxation became drinking. (A substitue for taking vacations, or weekends off). Drinking was an easier substitue and I could "relax" at home. I didn't have any excessive emotional "problems" or excessive hardships that often lead one to drink for coping, I drank to relax, but, my body just became addicted from my continuous excess and it craved alcohol even when I didn't. I believe that alcohol is a curable disease, very contrary to most. I am probably in a very, very small percentage of people who think this way. (By the way, I am not bragging about this way of thinking) I figure if your leg is broken you go to the hospital to get it fixed. After it's fixed, it's fixed. Your leg is not in recovery for the rest of your life. I found my power in getting treated. I was medically treated for my alcoholism 3 months ago. My cravings vanished. No AA, No group meetings, no telling the world your an alcoholic. My anger is gone and few people even know. I love going through a tough day without the thought of alcohol. I also had my subconscious treated with powerful affirmations at the same time, in the same hospital. I looked a long time for a treatment place that I could resonate with. I even worked while I was there! LOL. I will not knock anyone who attends AA. To even have the courage enough to admit you WANT to quit takes a tremendous amount of willpower and a big fight with the body. I am only sharing this with you to let you know there are other options. For me, I now think I took the easy way out. It takes a tremendous amount of willpower to "not drink just for today", something my body proved to me time and time again that it wouldn't - without treatment. I wish my mind would have been more powerful than my body- it could have saved me some precious time that I wasted with alcohol. Best of luck to you in your slaying the dragon of alcohol.
Thanks for your post. I like diversity. For whatever it's worth, I was angry that I was going to have to quit drinking. I have a HIGH stressful job and my relaxation became drinking. (A substitue for taking vacations, or weekends off). Drinking was an easier substitue and I could "relax" at home. I didn't have any excessive emotional "problems" or excessive hardships that often lead one to drink for coping, I drank to relax, but, my body just became addicted from my continuous excess and it craved alcohol even when I didn't. I believe that alcohol is a curable disease, very contrary to most. I am probably in a very, very small percentage of people who think this way. (By the way, I am not bragging about this way of thinking) I figure if your leg is broken you go to the hospital to get it fixed. After it's fixed, it's fixed. Your leg is not in recovery for the rest of your life. I found my power in getting treated. I was medically treated for my alcoholism 3 months ago. My cravings vanished. No AA, No group meetings, no telling the world your an alcoholic. My anger is gone and few people even know. I love going through a tough day without the thought of alcohol. I also had my subconscious treated with powerful affirmations at the same time, in the same hospital. I looked a long time for a treatment place that I could resonate with. I even worked while I was there! LOL. I will not knock anyone who attends AA. To even have the courage enough to admit you WANT to quit takes a tremendous amount of willpower and a big fight with the body. I am only sharing this with you to let you know there are other options. For me, I now think I took the easy way out. It takes a tremendous amount of willpower to "not drink just for today", something my body proved to me time and time again that it wouldn't - without treatment. I wish my mind would have been more powerful than my body- it could have saved me some precious time that I wasted with alcohol. Best of luck to you in your slaying the dragon of alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 196
Originally Posted by dogmamma 
While on the surface my life seems pretty perfect, I know how much I have sacrificed for alcohol. I am on vacation away from most of the stress that prompted me to start drinking in the first place and am trying to take the opportunity to reset my life and remove alcohol. I am in the best possible situation I could be in to stop drinking. I have, but so far I've felt so angry that another good thing has been taken from me.
Thanks for reading.
Although I do go to AA about 1ce a week, I don't do 'endless' group meetings.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by SoberforME
Me too!! I looked like everything was just fine, but sacrificed so much. I just decided that alcohol was not "another good thing" but a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Although I do go to AA about 1ce a week, I don't do 'endless' group meetings.
Although I do go to AA about 1ce a week, I don't do 'endless' group meetings.
SoberforME: How long before you accepted that it wasn't a "good thing"? I vacillate between hating/fearing alcohol and loving it more than anything. Did it take multiple tries? A tragedy? I can't think of a day that alcohol would be bad in my mind. I think maybe many of us have felt/feel that it is the panacea, though our bodies might disagree. It's not easy to leave something behind that has been so very effective in ways that other drugs/therapy/diversions have not.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 196
Originally Posted by dogmamma
SoberforME: How long before you accepted that it wasn't a "good thing"? I vacillate between hating/fearing alcohol and loving it more than anything. Did it take multiple tries? A tragedy?
I didn't vilify alcohol in my mind, though. I don't think I need to hate alcohol, but I do think I needed to get to the point of knowing it was making my life a lot more complicated than it needed to be and draining away my chances at life.
The 'fun', relief, whatever that alcohol provided me was a fleeting thing.
One of the things I did do is write down frankly and honestly the ways that alcohol was effecting me. It was my first post here if you want to read it. It's entitled "Guess who's an alcoholic". It solidified my reasons beyond a vague "it's messing up my life".
You can do this. Even if right now you're not ready, it doesn't mean the wheels aren't turning.
Oh and I would read the books Beyond the Influence and Under the Influence. Fabulous!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 679
Dogmamma—
Part of me felt when I read your post that it had some of the feelings that I experienced in the beginning. Not that I am that far along now, only five months, but you cannot imagine how much you are able to change in that amount of time. It is actually staggering.
So I fought to control my drinking for a couple years, had some moments of abstinence and when my therapist actually finally challenged me on the issue and was like you have to stop, almost to my surprise I started crying and was like but "I have nothing." And truly that is how I felt. And while that is quite a despairing thought, to only have alcohol in your life, for that to actually be its meaning, it is even more despairing to think that you have to give that up. And for what? Really, I did not know. I just knew my life was not working. I always used to call it a hole in my soul which sounded so cheesy but it is how it felt, like I was permanently in the midst of an existential crisis that was never getting better just deeper. So I gave it a go— but on my terms because I don't do groups either and I certainly don't do groups and I at that point vehemently hated AA.
And this is the thing that I really want to say about sobriety, that I think is sort of the great myth, once you get sober you don't automatically get happy. I mean I am five months in and I have more "down" days than "up" days, I would say. However, this does not mean that I would trade it for anything. This also does not mean it is not worth it. Quite the opposite actually. What I think keeps me going the most is that my hole in my soul (please ignore the cheese factor) seems to be closing up, whatever that emptiness I used to feel seems to not be there as much. I finally have hope for a full and well lived life and that propels me forward. But I have so many deferred emotions. I never really learned how to deal with my feelings and so now I am finally learning. I have become less rigid in my thinking about everything, even AA. I actually find myself attracted to parts of it. And I realized that alcohol affected way more of my life and emotional life than I even ever realized. It is amazing. I spent a lot of the first months mourning it. At one point I felt like I had really severed the bond but nothing was there to replace it and that was an empty and interesting feeling, like even now I am not saying that I couldn't relapse, I am sure I could, but I don't think alcohol can ever again be what it once was to me and part of me is so sad about that. I had to let myself get over that. It took a month or two. It is a process.
So "my program" has ended up really being combination of a couple things: books and my therapist. I have read so many books on recovery and alcoholism— from memoirs to scientific books to self-help. You name it. And in a way it offers varying points of view and has helped me understand so much and question and see myself so much. My therapist has helped through the emotional part of it all.
But really it is all about finding your own path. I picked a quit date. Got geared up and stopped. I was as ready as I had been. And then about a month in I found that I needed to know more about recovery so I started reading. I kept noticing changes and I needed to read about other people's experiences. It is probably similar to what people do with AA— listen to others' experiences and feel the similarities and see the differences to their own. Whatever ends up working for you, I wish you the best. And trust me it is worth it, even though it may barely seem like it right now.
Part of me felt when I read your post that it had some of the feelings that I experienced in the beginning. Not that I am that far along now, only five months, but you cannot imagine how much you are able to change in that amount of time. It is actually staggering.
So I fought to control my drinking for a couple years, had some moments of abstinence and when my therapist actually finally challenged me on the issue and was like you have to stop, almost to my surprise I started crying and was like but "I have nothing." And truly that is how I felt. And while that is quite a despairing thought, to only have alcohol in your life, for that to actually be its meaning, it is even more despairing to think that you have to give that up. And for what? Really, I did not know. I just knew my life was not working. I always used to call it a hole in my soul which sounded so cheesy but it is how it felt, like I was permanently in the midst of an existential crisis that was never getting better just deeper. So I gave it a go— but on my terms because I don't do groups either and I certainly don't do groups and I at that point vehemently hated AA.
And this is the thing that I really want to say about sobriety, that I think is sort of the great myth, once you get sober you don't automatically get happy. I mean I am five months in and I have more "down" days than "up" days, I would say. However, this does not mean that I would trade it for anything. This also does not mean it is not worth it. Quite the opposite actually. What I think keeps me going the most is that my hole in my soul (please ignore the cheese factor) seems to be closing up, whatever that emptiness I used to feel seems to not be there as much. I finally have hope for a full and well lived life and that propels me forward. But I have so many deferred emotions. I never really learned how to deal with my feelings and so now I am finally learning. I have become less rigid in my thinking about everything, even AA. I actually find myself attracted to parts of it. And I realized that alcohol affected way more of my life and emotional life than I even ever realized. It is amazing. I spent a lot of the first months mourning it. At one point I felt like I had really severed the bond but nothing was there to replace it and that was an empty and interesting feeling, like even now I am not saying that I couldn't relapse, I am sure I could, but I don't think alcohol can ever again be what it once was to me and part of me is so sad about that. I had to let myself get over that. It took a month or two. It is a process.
So "my program" has ended up really being combination of a couple things: books and my therapist. I have read so many books on recovery and alcoholism— from memoirs to scientific books to self-help. You name it. And in a way it offers varying points of view and has helped me understand so much and question and see myself so much. My therapist has helped through the emotional part of it all.
But really it is all about finding your own path. I picked a quit date. Got geared up and stopped. I was as ready as I had been. And then about a month in I found that I needed to know more about recovery so I started reading. I kept noticing changes and I needed to read about other people's experiences. It is probably similar to what people do with AA— listen to others' experiences and feel the similarities and see the differences to their own. Whatever ends up working for you, I wish you the best. And trust me it is worth it, even though it may barely seem like it right now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 150
I am with you about AA. I have to admit that today is "Day 1" again, which I feel bad about. On February 20th of this year, I went to my first meeting. I was totally hung over and felt very vulnerable and needed SOMETHING. I was immediately met with many different people who wanted to help me and I was invited to dinner, which I attended. However, my anonymity lasted all of three seconds and I suddenly became overwhelmed by people calling in the group. I had shared my full name and number with just one person, who shared it with everyone else. I now am getting texts and phone messages every day saying "YOU WILL FAIL if you don't stick with AA" and "You can't do it on your own self-will, which is what you are trying to do." I feel that the people do mean well, but it's not fair to tell people things about themselves if they truly don't know you that well. I am also a private person and I hate intrusion into my life, so this is really hard to take. I was unfortunately drunk last night and a guy who wants to be my sponsor called me and practically yelled at me about his disappointment in me. Needless to say, I felt terrible. He told me not to lie to him and that I belong in AA on a daily basis. I know this is just one individual but honestly, I am now scared to go to another meeting (I've been to a total of five). I'm staring at my 24 hour chip right now and it feels like it is a token of the most loser-ish behavior of my life. I am really disappointed in myself and I don't know if I can deal with the disappointments that people in an AA group feel when I "pick up that next drink." I don't want another drink and I think I will try to find a more secular support group. I can see how AA is appealing to some people because they really do welcome you. However, I have always been a private type and it seems to me that for a lot of the people in the group I met, AA is their social life. They get together and read the Big Book at coffee shops, etc.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad there are others who feel similar to me. I want to get better and stop drinking and I'm happy that others have done it in ways that are independent of AA. I was starting to feel like if I fail AA, I fail at everything. I agree that you need to fix the reasons for the drinking in the first place and I think there MUST be other ways to do that that don't involve 12-stepping.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad there are others who feel similar to me. I want to get better and stop drinking and I'm happy that others have done it in ways that are independent of AA. I was starting to feel like if I fail AA, I fail at everything. I agree that you need to fix the reasons for the drinking in the first place and I think there MUST be other ways to do that that don't involve 12-stepping.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by sfgirl
Dogmamma—
Part of me felt when I read your post that it had some of the feelings that I experienced in the beginning. Not that I am that far along now, only five months, but you cannot imagine how much you are able to change in that amount of time. It is actually staggering.
So I fought to control my drinking for a couple years, had some moments of abstinence and when my therapist actually finally challenged me on the issue and was like you have to stop, almost to my surprise I started crying and was like but "I have nothing." And truly that is how I felt. And while that is quite a despairing thought, to only have alcohol in your life, for that to actually be its meaning, it is even more despairing to think that you have to give that up. And for what? Really, I did not know. I just knew my life was not working. I always used to call it a hole in my soul which sounded so cheesy but it is how it felt, like I was permanently in the midst of an existential crisis that was never getting better just deeper. So I gave it a go— but on my terms because I don't do groups either and I certainly don't do groups and I at that point vehemently hated AA.
And this is the thing that I really want to say about sobriety, that I think is sort of the great myth, once you get sober you don't automatically get happy. I mean I am five months in and I have more "down" days than "up" days, I would say. However, this does not mean that I would trade it for anything. This also does not mean it is not worth it. Quite the opposite actually. What I think keeps me going the most is that my hole in my soul (please ignore the cheese factor) seems to be closing up, whatever that emptiness I used to feel seems to not be there as much. I finally have hope for a full and well lived life and that propels me forward. But I have so many deferred emotions. I never really learned how to deal with my feelings and so now I am finally learning. I have become less rigid in my thinking about everything, even AA. I actually find myself attracted to parts of it. And I realized that alcohol affected way more of my life and emotional life than I even ever realized. It is amazing. I spent a lot of the first months mourning it. At one point I felt like I had really severed the bond but nothing was there to replace it and that was an empty and interesting feeling, like even now I am not saying that I couldn't relapse, I am sure I could, but I don't think alcohol can ever again be what it once was to me and part of me is so sad about that. I had to let myself get over that. It took a month or two. It is a process.
So "my program" has ended up really being combination of a couple things: books and my therapist. I have read so many books on recovery and alcoholism— from memoirs to scientific books to self-help. You name it. And in a way it offers varying points of view and has helped me understand so much and question and see myself so much. My therapist has helped through the emotional part of it all.
But really it is all about finding your own path. I picked a quit date. Got geared up and stopped. I was as ready as I had been. And then about a month in I found that I needed to know more about recovery so I started reading. I kept noticing changes and I needed to read about other people's experiences. It is probably similar to what people do with AA— listen to others' experiences and feel the similarities and see the differences to their own. Whatever ends up working for you, I wish you the best. And trust me it is worth it, even though it may barely seem like it right now.
Part of me felt when I read your post that it had some of the feelings that I experienced in the beginning. Not that I am that far along now, only five months, but you cannot imagine how much you are able to change in that amount of time. It is actually staggering.
So I fought to control my drinking for a couple years, had some moments of abstinence and when my therapist actually finally challenged me on the issue and was like you have to stop, almost to my surprise I started crying and was like but "I have nothing." And truly that is how I felt. And while that is quite a despairing thought, to only have alcohol in your life, for that to actually be its meaning, it is even more despairing to think that you have to give that up. And for what? Really, I did not know. I just knew my life was not working. I always used to call it a hole in my soul which sounded so cheesy but it is how it felt, like I was permanently in the midst of an existential crisis that was never getting better just deeper. So I gave it a go— but on my terms because I don't do groups either and I certainly don't do groups and I at that point vehemently hated AA.
And this is the thing that I really want to say about sobriety, that I think is sort of the great myth, once you get sober you don't automatically get happy. I mean I am five months in and I have more "down" days than "up" days, I would say. However, this does not mean that I would trade it for anything. This also does not mean it is not worth it. Quite the opposite actually. What I think keeps me going the most is that my hole in my soul (please ignore the cheese factor) seems to be closing up, whatever that emptiness I used to feel seems to not be there as much. I finally have hope for a full and well lived life and that propels me forward. But I have so many deferred emotions. I never really learned how to deal with my feelings and so now I am finally learning. I have become less rigid in my thinking about everything, even AA. I actually find myself attracted to parts of it. And I realized that alcohol affected way more of my life and emotional life than I even ever realized. It is amazing. I spent a lot of the first months mourning it. At one point I felt like I had really severed the bond but nothing was there to replace it and that was an empty and interesting feeling, like even now I am not saying that I couldn't relapse, I am sure I could, but I don't think alcohol can ever again be what it once was to me and part of me is so sad about that. I had to let myself get over that. It took a month or two. It is a process.
So "my program" has ended up really being combination of a couple things: books and my therapist. I have read so many books on recovery and alcoholism— from memoirs to scientific books to self-help. You name it. And in a way it offers varying points of view and has helped me understand so much and question and see myself so much. My therapist has helped through the emotional part of it all.
But really it is all about finding your own path. I picked a quit date. Got geared up and stopped. I was as ready as I had been. And then about a month in I found that I needed to know more about recovery so I started reading. I kept noticing changes and I needed to read about other people's experiences. It is probably similar to what people do with AA— listen to others' experiences and feel the similarities and see the differences to their own. Whatever ends up working for you, I wish you the best. And trust me it is worth it, even though it may barely seem like it right now.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by stellaloella
I am with you about AA. I have to admit that today is "Day 1" again, which I feel bad about. On February 20th of this year, I went to my first meeting. I was totally hung over and felt very vulnerable and needed SOMETHING. I was immediately met with many different people who wanted to help me and I was invited to dinner, which I attended. However, my anonymity lasted all of three seconds and I suddenly became overwhelmed by people calling in the group. I had shared my full name and number with just one person, who shared it with everyone else. I now am getting texts and phone messages every day saying "YOU WILL FAIL if you don't stick with AA" and "You can't do it on your own self-will, which is what you are trying to do." I feel that the people do mean well, but it's not fair to tell people things about themselves if they truly don't know you that well. I am also a private person and I hate intrusion into my life, so this is really hard to take. I was unfortunately drunk last night and a guy who wants to be my sponsor called me and practically yelled at me about his disappointment in me. Needless to say, I felt terrible. He told me not to lie to him and that I belong in AA on a daily basis. I know this is just one individual but honestly, I am now scared to go to another meeting (I've been to a total of five). I'm staring at my 24 hour chip right now and it feels like it is a token of the most loser-ish behavior of my life. I am really disappointed in myself and I don't know if I can deal with the disappointments that people in an AA group feel when I "pick up that next drink." I don't want another drink and I think I will try to find a more secular support group. I can see how AA is appealing to some people because they really do welcome you. However, I have always been a private type and it seems to me that for a lot of the people in the group I met, AA is their social life. They get together and read the Big Book at coffee shops, etc.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad there are others who feel similar to me. I want to get better and stop drinking and I'm happy that others have done it in ways that are independent of AA. I was starting to feel like if I fail AA, I fail at everything. I agree that you need to fix the reasons for the drinking in the first place and I think there MUST be other ways to do that that don't involve 12-stepping.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad there are others who feel similar to me. I want to get better and stop drinking and I'm happy that others have done it in ways that are independent of AA. I was starting to feel like if I fail AA, I fail at everything. I agree that you need to fix the reasons for the drinking in the first place and I think there MUST be other ways to do that that don't involve 12-stepping.
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