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I Wish I Found This Board One Week Prior

Old 03-02-2009, 02:33 PM
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I Wish I Found This Board One Week Prior

Gosh I wish I had found a board this active one week sooner. I am obviously new to the board and new to the program. I actually stopped drinking on January 1, 2009 and even picked up my 30 day chip. Here is the rest of the story: I attended quite a few meetings, loved them, met tons of great people, read the Big Book with flourish, YET DID NOT GET SPONSOR.

So there I was with 60 days, I hit a rough spot, and had a glass of wine.
But with that glass of wine, I was shown a vision. A vision of how resentment WILL lead to a drink. And while I did not relaspe in a way that we see in the Big Book; you know the kind where the person drinks for days on end, I did see that my body does not handle it well. I ended up feeling awful with a headache.

I've always been the "stealth drinker." I drank wine, expensive wine. I used to only have 1 glass and then that turned into two, then three.
I decided to quite on Jan 1 because I had bad energy, felt bad on the mornings after I had wine, and just did not have any "zest" that I used to have. Plus the fact that I could not stay stopped for more than a few days.
Some alarm would go off in my head at 5:00 PM and I would crave a drink every evening; this signaled that something was very wrong to me.

When I return to Atlanta (I am in South Florida for business) I plan to march my butt back to the AA meetings and get a sponsor. I want to work the program right from the start and work it in a way that will get results.
To me, it is pretty obvious that I can't work some "kind" of program. I must work THE PROGRAM.

Thanks for listening. I am glad to be here.
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:39 PM
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welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:51 PM
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Thriving sober since 12/18/08
 
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Welcome to SR I personally don't use AA as part of my recovery, however a lot of people here do. I wish you the best, read, post, hang out, this is a great place!
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:57 PM
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Thanks for the warm welcome. I am glad to be here.
Question: Flutter, what do you use? I mean, honestly, I
ws told that if I did not do 90 meetings in 90 days I would not
succeed. How do you stay sober
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:02 PM
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Welcome to sr.........and thankyou for your post...

I too spent time doing bits of AA or bits of the twelve steps.

The results were always the same.......drunk

So i did it with as much passion as i did my drinking....then and only then did i stop drinking and more important was content not drinking.

nice to have you here.....keep us posted on progress...im real interested.

trucker
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:09 PM
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Glad you are here...if you stick around post and read you will find a large variety of expereince strength and hope on sobriety and recovery.

There are many people using many different methods to stay sober at this site..the one thing i have found in common to all is that sharing that expereince with other addicts and alchoholics seems to be an important part of how they/I stay sober

Hope you will share your expereinces with us (hug)
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:25 PM
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Thriving sober since 12/18/08
 
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Well for one, I had to come to a point where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to be drunk. I did attend AA, it's not something that I'm interested in pursuing further than I did (and this really isn't an aa versus non-aa thing..). There are a LOT of ways to get and stay sober, there's a ton of people here that are testament to that. I read, I have support through friends and family, I attend addiction counseling 2x a week, and I just don't drink, I live my life, and have found how much more life I can put into my days without alcohol involved. I don't know anything 'profound' that worked for me, nothing worked until I was at the point of making a permanent decision, I got there, and here I am, tho only 70some days sober.

Please don't feel boxed in to AA, or any program. I don't know who told you that you couldn't achieve sobriety without AA but that was irresponsible dangerous information. You must find your own way, be it AA, counseling, secular recovery, spending time here, talking to friends, talking to your dog.. whatever it is that works for you.

Sorry if I just rambled, I don't want to bash or talk bad about any method, I just want to make sure to express there's lots of ways out there, we're all different, and respond differently to different approaches, luckily there's LOTS of options!
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by ImagineMe View Post
Thanks for the warm welcome. I am glad to be here.
Question: Flutter, what do you use? I mean, honestly, I
ws told that if I did not do 90 meetings in 90 days I would not
succeed. How do you stay sober

Huh. I don't know what to make of that one.

I don't think I've ever had anyone tell me that if I don't do something, I will not succeed. I've always been encouraged with positive support. I am a member of AA and find it, well, amazing. But I've never been told I would fail....

There are other groups - I don't know much about them. I'm sure someone else will come along who does.

Good job with your sobriety! And welcome to SR!
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:36 PM
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I have never been told I would not succeed either.....but I went to the same AA meeting for an entire year without attaining anything more than couple weeks of sobriety. I spoke of my struggles to an extent.....but I also continued to go to AA to remind myself that I am not alone and other people struggles with what I was going through.

Long story short, I never gave up. The two years of trying to quit drinking were quite long for me, but I dusted myself off and kept on coming back. And I can tell you one thing.....these 4 months sober are already better physically and mentally than the last 3 years of drinking. You can do it, but do what you need to do to remain sober. I will not die if i don't make an AA meeting for the week, but it sure doesn't hurt my recovery to go once a week either.
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:48 PM
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Welcome to the family!:ghug3
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:52 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I think you will find lots of different ways that people stay sober. I am not an AA person either, and have been sober for many years. SR is my lifeline. I am glad that you are doing well and that you are seeking support.

Keep reading and posting. There is lots of information and support here.
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:14 PM
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Ok, you found us now, that's what's important, right? And you realized what part of working the Program of AA you left out, Sponsorship. Don't beat yourself up, that's one of the biggest guarantees to send you right back out the door. Believe me, I learned that one the hard way. . . from experience.

I want to hopefully clear up some confusion here. On the 90 Meetings in 90 Days, AA suggests 90 Meetings in 90 Days. There are several good people on the AA Forum who can pretty much quote the Big Book to you or at least tell you where to find different things on different pages. Unfortunately, that's not me.

Some people can and do quit drinking without ever going to AA. If that works for them, great! For me, I had to go to AA, work the Steps, get a Sponsor, I did about 120 Meetings in 90 days because I had put a great deal of effort into using each day so I had to put even more into my Recovery. Through AA I found my HP, that's the area that I was lacking in for all those years that I was in and out of the Rooms.

Like you said, you realized that you have to work THE Program, not one of your own making. For those of us who choose to use AA as the primary form of support in our Recovery, leaving out one of the basics in the equation is like not putting any flour in a recipe for cake, in my opinion. Not meaning to sound sarcastic, just sharing how I felt when I left out finding my HP. It just didn't work!

Stick around, read, share as much as you are comfortable with and welcome to the SR Family!

God Bless,
Judy
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:58 PM
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Hi neighbor....

First of all....while doing 90 and 90 is a good suggestion
it came from treatment centers
Behavioral scientist came up with the concept that it
takes 3 months to discard a bad habit and replace
that with a positive one.
Yes you will hear it often but it's not AA.

You mentioned resentments...
please look at the final page in
"Freedom From Bondage" in your BB..

Before asking someone to sponsor you....please
look on the literature rack ...most meeting have
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"

Good to see you here with us...
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Old 03-02-2009, 08:26 PM
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ImagineMe: thanks for sharing that vision "That resentment will lead to a drink."

I have been a "stealth drinker" of wine for several years, coming to this board for help, lumping along "trying" to quit completely for a year. My sobriety date is Feb. 14. No more of this.

Right now I am struggling terribly at work: it is just not right in many ways. I need to change. It is going to take work to do so, but I really need to change this part of my life.

Looking back over the last two years, I realize how much resentment I have had, and I did temper it with wine. It is foolish to think this resentment is going to go away because I stopped drinking--now I get to deal with it, don't I ? (lol)

I'm ready to deal with life on its terms, no matter what they are.

Welcome, welcome!
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