FizzyWater

I was getting a new windscreen fitted to my car yesterday. This involved taking it to a town around 25 miles away and waiting 2 hours while it was fitted.

I wandered down the town and had something to eat and as I was walking back to the garage a bloke started to chat to me as we walked, he was quite a young guy, drinking from a can of beer and quite drunk.

He got completly the wrong end of the stick about what I was doing, instead of getting a new windscreen, he seemed to think I was looking for Icecream. He remarked that I was a bit strange looking for icecream at 9.30 in the morning and went on his way laughing.

This amused me, how ironic laughing at me getting icrecream ( even though I wasn't if anyones actually following this ) while there he is drunk off his face at that time and openly drinking.

Wasn't that long ago that I may have had a drink at that time in the morning myself though, although never openly !!!!!!!!

As I sat and waited, I got to think about how I differ from normal drinkers.

The way I see it is that I have two choices, the normal drinker has a third choice which I don't seem to have.

The first choice I have is that I can drink. Now I know I can do this cos I did it for nearly 20 years, it involves getting sick, sneaking about every day, either buying alcohol, disposing of bottles, and actually finding time to drink the stuff.

As long as I keep to my limits though of around a half bottle of vodka a day, I can function pretty well, the problem was always I took more than that.

So not the choice I am choosing to make just now but a choice never the less.

My second choice, which is where I'm currently at, is I can choose not to drink. Again I know I can do this as I've done it now for the last 9 months or so. Not as experienced at this but it is easier. It actually involves no effort whatsoever, just have to make sure I don't pick up that first glass. The only battles are in my own mind.

Now to the normal drinker, he seems to have a 3rd choice which I know is not available to me. He seems to be able to both drink and not drink at the same time. Looking back certain people always amazed me with how they could take or leave alcohol.

I was at the football yesterday, bloke I know was there, he'd been in the pub before the game and had a couple of pints he said, that was him though as he was working that night so straight home afterwards.

I mean what ? You can go to a pub, have 2 drinks then stop ? sorry but don't think I have ever been able to do that.

Drink one day but not the next ? nope, sorry again but can't do it.

For me it all or nothing, no grey areas, no inbetween.

So I've 2 choices.

Tell you what though, it makes my problem very simple doesn't it.

Not making light of things and I understand what a lof of people are going through and it can be tough, remember I've been there.

If you take our basic problem down to a simple level though,

You can drink or you can not drink.

Horselover

Thanks Fizzy. Makes a lot of sense to me.

least

Makes perfect sense to me also! And you put it very well.

:ghug3

AlkalikeH

Thanks Fizzy and Hello there, my name is H.

I have closed down bars and pubs in my time, even on a period i insisted the manager that on weekends we should do after hours and get hammered until 9-10 a.m into the next morning. I lost the 3rd choice you speak about long time ago.

Hope you are having a quiet and sober sunday, thanks again for your post.

stone

Yep, that sums it up. I have certainly had trouble with thinking that 3rd choice might be available to me, but it aint.

NewBeginning010

No third choice here as much as I like to think there is sometimes.

Thanks for your post

robc

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my drinking patterns and the triggers etc. There have been many times where I just had a beer or two. There have been many times where I did not drink for several days in a row. I have even gone out after work and not drank while others were drinking because I had to drive home. If I were to get home late, then I would not drink because I knew I had to get up early. It seems that when I did drink, I decided ahead of time that I was going to drink and not worry about the amount. This is my fifth day of not drinking, but spent 5 days in a row drinking before I decided to stop. The main reason I stopped was because of the physical pain I experienced. I am currently unemployed so I had nowhere to go and was just drinking for the fun of it. I am also starting to realize that I drink when I am not feeling well. If I am hung over, I drink so the hang over will go away. There have been many times where I had bad sinus problems and would drink to feel better. I don't know what any of this means, but it is just interesting for me to look back and the different times I was responsible and the other times where I went on crazy binges.

coffeenut

Amen.

CoF1984

As much as I wish it was, that third choice is not one of my options either. One drink and I'll be back to drinking all day every day again. So I have to stick to the choice of not drinking as well. Glad you posted this thread, makes perfect sense to me and is very well put. Thanks for this thread.
Wes

nickishine

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your thread, Fizzy!

Oh how well I relate to it all!

Congrats on your sobriety and how you're thinkin' about things today!

Awesome post!

Samsonsworld

Very well said, Fizzywater. I can relate, myself. I am completely incapable of stopping after a drink or two. My only hope is making a conscious effort not to take the first. I don't understand why I want it so bad? What is it that I find so appealing about getting trashed? I honestly can't define it. I keep thinking of Proverbs 26:11, as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Instead of appealing, a normal person would find it appalling. I think my brain is wired wrong when it comes to alcohol.

hadit

Well said Fizzy !!! Thanks for the clarity. I like the way you say I CAN drink cos I've done it for 20 years BUT it involves...... Something empowering about that.

I just thought to myself I CAN drink too, cos I've done it for thirty years,BUT it involves a graveyard. Makes my choice a simple one too.. Great post!! Thanks.

FizzyWater

I so remember that feeling robc, after my first attempt at stopping failed I spent around 8 months only drinking every day to take away the hangover from the day before.

Didn't want to drink but couldn't handle the sick feeling so felt I had to, 8 months though, and what I learned was the sickness just got worse and worse until eventually I felt so sick I just had to stop.

Glad you've made that step to stop though.

Thanks everyone for the positive responses.