xym297

As day 4 drawers to a close I am grateful to this site and to AA that I am still sober and still wanting it. Maybe my HP is at work too but have yet find the spiritual awakening.

I enjoy meetings, I enjoy hearing peoples success and how they have stayed sober for 3 months or 25 years. But, I do feel a little on the outside, it seems that everyone has so many emotional problems, reasons or people that made them drink, resentments, anger, fear etc. I sit there and listen, I hear the similarities but sometimes think there are so many differences that perhaps I’m not alcoholic after all. My childhood was great, my adult life is great, apart from I screw it up with booze. I blame no one for my drinking but me, I chose to do it, I don’t hold resentment towards anyone, I’m a little pee’d off with my wife now she is divorcing me but I don’t actually blame her really, I would have divorced me! I am quite laid back rarely get angry. I just drink too much. Maybe I should be grateful that I don’t have all these other issues but in meetings I think I can’t share, I’m just a drunk who wants to stop being a drunk I have not much else to say.

Anyway trying to stay positive and happy to be sober today, just me sharing on here, I wouldn’t be able to say the above in a meeting for fear of hurting other people, is that a fear, guess so but it’s me trying to be at least a little diplomatic.

Thanks
Xym

Anna

Well, maybe you are luckier than some of the addicts you're meeting.

I think the main thing is to stay sober and keep an open mind. Recovery is a time for learning about yourself.

ANGELINA243

Focus on the similarities , not the differences. I compared myself to others too much in the beginning and it only kept me sick much longer. GLad to hear you are enjoying going to meetings and are happy today being sober. We do recover.

wanttolive

I can relate xym. Sometimes when I read how bad other people are feeling physically and emotionally I think the same way. How can I possibly complain about a stupid craving when so many seem to be dealing with much more. I don't blame anyone for being an alkie either. Just my stupid self!

I guess there are varying degrees to everything and I feel fortunate to just be (not that it isn't hard sometimes) dealing with alcohol.

I, just like you said, am happy be sober for today as well. It's been a bit of a challenging weekend though to say the least!

CarolD

Well done on your sober progress..

I've found AA to be an awesome adventure
I hope you will decide to stay for yours

Wolfchild

Spiritual Awakening already in progress. Please keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle of recovery until your obsession and compulsion comes to a complete halt.

Congratulations on another day clean and sober!!!!

yeahgr8

I wouldn't worry about comparing yourself to people, analysing youself or labelling your drinking habit for now. Do 3 months sober and then think about it:-)

californiapoppy

I'm on day 4 too, no health, family, money problems, just a problem with alcohol. and I feel good too ! I know of only one way to keep feeling this good, and I plan to keep at it. You too !

mamabin

I often feel this way as well, Xym. How can I be here complaining when so many others have it so much worse. Maybe it just comes down to the fact that this is just painful for all of us, and we're all different. For me, it's not about "things", it's about my mental health and physical health.

shaun00

4 days is great.......

And i hope AA becomes the solution as it did for me.

Stick with the meetings........after time your feel like you belong.

Where ever we went with it........or how far down the scale we went.

We all have the same problem....once we commence drinking we have little idea of when we are gonna stop......Thats what matters and ties us together.

God bless...............trucker

AlkalikeH

Great to hear you are doing great Xym!

Much strength to you - keep it up!