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New first timer, confused

Old 02-27-2009, 06:51 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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DAY 2 -

Thank you all for the encouragement.

Last night was hard. My in-laws took my wife and I out to dinner, they are down visiting. We had an hour wait for a table, so we sat in the bar. When I ordered ice tea my mother in law and wife asked me what was wrong... why don't you have a rum and coke or whatever... I said, for the first time, that I did not want to fill up before dinner (lie) and they knew it. After we were seated, my wife asked me to have a drink. She said, "as long as you don't slam them, you can have a drink". I ordered water with my meal. When we got home, I looked at the liquor cabinet and my stocked beer fridge and closed the door, went to bed.

This morning I feel great. I don't feel guilty. I have no shakes. I feel happy. I don't worry about what I said last night. I am glad that I drove and let everything else have a nice time.

My in-laws are leaving tomorrow, so we are going out again tonight. I suspect that when I order ice tea I will get weird looks again. They all will be drinking in moderation. But, I want to prove to myself that I can get through this weekend, week, month without drinking. Next week is my birthday, it is going to be a huge test. At the end of March I am going to the Florida Keys for vacation. That will be a bigger test. Like what you all said, take it day by day.

Thank you for listening.

Michael
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Old 02-27-2009, 07:42 AM
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Michael - I really try to avoid giving advice on this forum so I'm just going to tell you what I did. My problem was more advanced than yours but it's still the same problem. After years of trying to quit without making a big deal out of it I finally sat my husband down and explained to him that I know I am an alcoholic and that I can't have just one drink. I signed him up to support me in not drinking at all. I've got almost a month of sobriety in now and some of the things that have helped me are my husband abstaining too (for the time being, I don't expect him to quit forever), staying away from people/places where there will be drinking, checking into this forum and reading/posting at least twice a day. I have finally come to understand that there is no such thing as drinking in moderation for me. If I ever drink again I will get drunk and will have to repeat this whole process - and right now I believe that it just isn't worth it. Drinking does nothing for me - what I used to perceive as pleasure is now just the beginning of pain.

On your birthday you might try not to think of it as a test but rather as giving yourself the huge gift of being sober.
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Old 02-27-2009, 07:47 AM
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good, great even, keep it up !!!
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Old 02-27-2009, 08:15 AM
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Way to go!! It will get easier for you to say "NO" the more you make that decision. You may even find that you become less concerned about how other people react! When we start doing something that is new to us, it is also new for other people. They may feel that something has changed and the're unsure how to handle it. Don't sweat it! They will adjust to what you are doing all on their own. Try not to look at difficult situations as tests. Please try to view them as opportunities to practice your daily decision to not drink. i strongly encourage you to attend some meetings, ask someone to sponsor you, and take it from there. Keep it simple & keep coming back!!
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Old 02-27-2009, 08:16 AM
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Good for you Michael, for staying sober! No matter what your long term goals for sobriety, keep your eyes on Today. One day at a time really does work.

:ghug3
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Old 03-02-2009, 09:46 AM
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Day 5

Day 5 -

Feeling great. For the first time in 10 years I got through a weekend without a single drink. For the first time in 10 years, I felt like the weekend was long, not short and flew by. I went to dinner out on Friday and Saturday and was the only one not drinking. I had cravings all weekend but did not give in. This Monday morning I had a clear head, it was a nice feeling. Work is going great today. I like this.
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Old 03-02-2009, 09:54 AM
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Congratulations!! That first weekend can be a real hurdle. Good for you for making it through it.
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Old 03-02-2009, 11:00 AM
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Good for you, Michael!! YOU...
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Old 03-02-2009, 11:13 AM
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Awesome Michael! Keep it up!

Hope you have a sober and productive day!

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Old 03-02-2009, 07:23 PM
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It's awesome that your so quickly rediscovering the joy of living!! Don't forget that if you don't take that first drink, anything is possible!! You may even experience more rewarding and greater joys then this if you stay!!
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:42 PM
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Welcome Michael! When I was your age I was clueless as to what lay ahead. Drinking took me down a road I could never have imagined. What started out as a pleasant break from everyday life became a necessity. I was ok in my 20's, but by my 30's I had built up such a tolerance it was terrifying. In my 40's I needed it to live, and couldn't get throught the day without it. In the end, this disease tried to kill me, and that's what finally made me stop. I wanted to salvage what remained of my life. You never have to go through the hell many of us have put ourselves through. Congratulations on your new life.
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