My oldest friend commited suicide
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 196
My oldest friend commited suicide
I am completely flabbergasted right now.
I have a friend that I met when I was 15...17 years ago (almost 18). She and I have a long history together. She made me laugh at some of my worse times and was like a 'big sister' to me when I was younger and later a friend who understood my whole history. When I came out (as gay) my brother came to the coffee shop we all hung out with and threatened me. She and her girlfriend stood behind me (literally) and made it so he couldn't hurt me. That amongst so many other things.
I loved her so much and I found out this morning that she committed suicide on the 16th and was buried on my birthday (the 24th). I hadn't talked to her for a year. We didn't see each other as much because I moved from Oregon to Texas 5 years ago.
I am so worried about her family and partner. She was only 38 and she and her partner got married last year in California.
I'm not going to drink over this, but I did realize that I had a friend die last year suddenly and I spent the week of her funeral drinking at 1pm and going until I couldn't stand or talk anymore. I called my partner to come pick me up the day of the funeral and she couldn't understand what I was saying.
I am really feeling this much more then I did my friend last year, who was my first friend in Austin and died suddenly.
Did anyone here experience something like this when newly sober? Was it different than when you were drinking?
Thanks for reading.
I have a friend that I met when I was 15...17 years ago (almost 18). She and I have a long history together. She made me laugh at some of my worse times and was like a 'big sister' to me when I was younger and later a friend who understood my whole history. When I came out (as gay) my brother came to the coffee shop we all hung out with and threatened me. She and her girlfriend stood behind me (literally) and made it so he couldn't hurt me. That amongst so many other things.
I loved her so much and I found out this morning that she committed suicide on the 16th and was buried on my birthday (the 24th). I hadn't talked to her for a year. We didn't see each other as much because I moved from Oregon to Texas 5 years ago.
I am so worried about her family and partner. She was only 38 and she and her partner got married last year in California.
I'm not going to drink over this, but I did realize that I had a friend die last year suddenly and I spent the week of her funeral drinking at 1pm and going until I couldn't stand or talk anymore. I called my partner to come pick me up the day of the funeral and she couldn't understand what I was saying.
I am really feeling this much more then I did my friend last year, who was my first friend in Austin and died suddenly.
Did anyone here experience something like this when newly sober? Was it different than when you were drinking?
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
A couple of friends over the past five years have decided to end their life.
Both had multi years sober/clean time....both had returned to drinking/using.
Very sad.......for the familys...and friends.
i felt numb really...........then angry for a good while....at addiction and the ripple effect on peoples lives.
I believe they are both in a place of peace..love and warmth.........
thankyou for sharing that.....god be with the family..................trucker
Both had multi years sober/clean time....both had returned to drinking/using.
Very sad.......for the familys...and friends.
i felt numb really...........then angry for a good while....at addiction and the ripple effect on peoples lives.
I believe they are both in a place of peace..love and warmth.........
thankyou for sharing that.....god be with the family..................trucker
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my best friend to bone cancer literally found out he had it on a Thursday before I could get to him on Wensday he was gone, there is no explaining the whys and hows of it, things just happen for some reason or other......Thank you for turning to SR and I pray that you will find comfort in knowing that she is watching over you now, Good Luck and God Bless!
Pamm
Pamm
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
Posts: 528
Originally Posted by SoberforME 
I am completely flabbergasted right now.
I have a friend that I met when I was 15...17 years ago (almost 18). She and I have a long history together. She made me laugh at some of my worse times and was like a 'big sister' to me when I was younger and later a friend who understood my whole history. When I came out (as gay) my brother came to the coffee shop we all hung out with and threatened me. She and her girlfriend stood behind me (literally) and made it so he couldn't hurt me. That amongst so many other things.
I loved her so much and I found out this morning that she committed suicide on the 16th and was buried on my birthday (the 24th). I hadn't talked to her for a year. We didn't see each other as much because I moved from Oregon to Texas 5 years ago.
I am so worried about her family and partner. She was only 38 and she and her partner got married last year in California.
I'm not going to drink over this, but I did realize that I had a friend die last year suddenly and I spent the week of her funeral drinking at 1pm and going until I couldn't stand or talk anymore. I called my partner to come pick me up the day of the funeral and she couldn't understand what I was saying.
I am really feeling this much more then I did my friend last year, who was my first friend in Austin and died suddenly.
Did anyone here experience something like this when newly sober? Was it different than when you were drinking?
Thanks for reading.
I have a friend that I met when I was 15...17 years ago (almost 18). She and I have a long history together. She made me laugh at some of my worse times and was like a 'big sister' to me when I was younger and later a friend who understood my whole history. When I came out (as gay) my brother came to the coffee shop we all hung out with and threatened me. She and her girlfriend stood behind me (literally) and made it so he couldn't hurt me. That amongst so many other things.
I loved her so much and I found out this morning that she committed suicide on the 16th and was buried on my birthday (the 24th). I hadn't talked to her for a year. We didn't see each other as much because I moved from Oregon to Texas 5 years ago.
I am so worried about her family and partner. She was only 38 and she and her partner got married last year in California.
I'm not going to drink over this, but I did realize that I had a friend die last year suddenly and I spent the week of her funeral drinking at 1pm and going until I couldn't stand or talk anymore. I called my partner to come pick me up the day of the funeral and she couldn't understand what I was saying.
I am really feeling this much more then I did my friend last year, who was my first friend in Austin and died suddenly.
Did anyone here experience something like this when newly sober? Was it different than when you were drinking?
Thanks for reading.
Im so sorry you are going through this & for your friends family.
:praying
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 281
I am so sorry for your loss!!!!! I lost one of my best friends to suicide when I was 18 years old, it was the beginning of my 10 year downward spiral. I became sober on his 11 year anniversary... I am not only staying sober for me, but for him too!
I pray that you will stay strong during this time!!!
I pray that you will stay strong during this time!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
I am so sorry for your loss. Please take good care of yourself. It must have been a terrible shock to find out and brought up a lot of stuff re your brother etc. that can't be easy reliving all of that.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
soberforme,so sorry to hear of your friend.
In early sobriety I did lose a good friend.He was a good guy and we worked together and went to meetings together.He just could not stay sober over a month or two.One day we got word they found him in a motel room dead.He ended his own life.
I still remember him 19 years later and think of him often.There is a small meeting near my home.I go sometimes and once I opened up a 12x12.There inside was his name.
We still remember him and you will remember your friend for life.
So tragic to see this happening.I just try and hold onto the good memories we had together.
In early sobriety I did lose a good friend.He was a good guy and we worked together and went to meetings together.He just could not stay sober over a month or two.One day we got word they found him in a motel room dead.He ended his own life.
I still remember him 19 years later and think of him often.There is a small meeting near my home.I go sometimes and once I opened up a 12x12.There inside was his name.
We still remember him and you will remember your friend for life.
So tragic to see this happening.I just try and hold onto the good memories we had together.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 196
Thanks Everyone.
I found out that she really planned this. She had a list of people that she wanted contacted and I was on the list. I've been notifying other friends throughout yesterday.
I had a show last night and was ok. I prayed to my HP for the strength to stay strong and sober. I succeeded on both, even when a woman offered me a shot for my b-day. I told her I didn't drink but would welcome a red bull. (I had 4, it was a bit out of control, LOL)
I talked to the owner of the club that I do a comedy night for once a month and next months show will benefit Gay and Lesbian suicide prevention. It's a huge problem in our community and we have a much higher chance of committing suicide and abusing drugs/alcohol because a lot of times our parents/support systems have feelings/don't want to know about being gay.
I am still so very sad for her and her family and will miss her always.
There's still loose ends to tie up, but I am really grateful that this place exists. Your words help me keep in mind my goals and the reasons I stay sober and I can't tell you how much that means.
((EVERYONE))
I found out that she really planned this. She had a list of people that she wanted contacted and I was on the list. I've been notifying other friends throughout yesterday.
I had a show last night and was ok. I prayed to my HP for the strength to stay strong and sober. I succeeded on both, even when a woman offered me a shot for my b-day. I told her I didn't drink but would welcome a red bull. (I had 4, it was a bit out of control, LOL)
I talked to the owner of the club that I do a comedy night for once a month and next months show will benefit Gay and Lesbian suicide prevention. It's a huge problem in our community and we have a much higher chance of committing suicide and abusing drugs/alcohol because a lot of times our parents/support systems have feelings/don't want to know about being gay.
I am still so very sad for her and her family and will miss her always.
There's still loose ends to tie up, but I am really grateful that this place exists. Your words help me keep in mind my goals and the reasons I stay sober and I can't tell you how much that means.
((EVERYONE))
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