Katie09

Egads, I am scared. I called AA this morning and might call back to have someone come to my house. I am at the point where I'm trying to calm myself down and wean myself off the wine. Sorry all! I am just sort of losing it. I already went to detox once and don't want to go to the ER. I have a Dr appt at 11 but don't even want to drive there, as I am too scared. Plus, he won't have what I need there - which is a valium. I have less than one bottle of wine. I've been drinking a lot of water trying to get this stuff out of my system, but I am scared right now. I have a new found respect for the power of this condition, as I call it. I am going to rehab, but I have to hang in there long enough to make it there. I feel shaky and twitchy. Maybe it's just anxiety. Maybe it's more than that. Anyway, the AA office opens soon and I am going to ask for help. If anyone can just talk to me, that would be great! Thanks.

Fubarcdn

Hang in there Katy. Why wouldn't your doctor be able to give you a prescription for valium?

Eclipse

Take a deep breath, sit down, close your eyes and try to relax. You are probably having an anxiety attack. You need to keep your doctors appt. I am sure there is help there. Can you have someone drive you to the doctor? Hang in there.:praying

Toomutch

Katie - Try and calm down... Take some deep breath's... The doctor will be able to help you.
Meanwhile I will be here. PM me if you would like.

Katie09

No, I am alone. The only thing I can do is to take a cab. I am even too embarrassed to go to the Dr. You'd think I was a homeless person and had no access to a shower. Ok, that is how bad this thing has gotten. I just talked to my friend in AA. I am going to call the office and ask someone to come here. Things have gotten very bad.

Anna

Katie,

I'm here too and I do remember the absolutel helplessness that you describe.

Just know that you don't have to go through this again.

Katie09

He would, but I am too freaked out to even leave my house. This thing gets bad. Thanks.

yeahgr8

Do what you have to Katie, I hope someone turns up to give you some help soon! Keep hanging round here and posting!

:ghug3

Katie09

You are right. I don't. Right now my immediate concern is to get through this day and get myself off this crap without incident. It's not even about drinking or getting drunk. It's about staying alive. Thanks.

Fubarcdn

Katie. I really think you should bite the bullet and take a cab to the Doctor's office. Docs are proffessional and shouldn't judge you. Trust him. Can't you have a shower and make yourself presentable before you go?
And pour the rest of that wine out. It isn't going to help you right now.

Bard

Just hang in there. It's rough but it will be worth it!

nickishine

Katie,

Oh girl.... try, with all your strength to get to your Doc's!!! As you said this is life or death -- to hell with embassassment! You're a** is falling off and you need help NOW! The future already looks better, rehab is in the works! You've got to stay alive long enough to get there at any length, girl! Call that cab! Be honest with your doc and get what you need to help you through this, Katie!

All my prayers going out to you today! YOU deserve recovery and happiness!

:praying:ghug3

muwel88

I am kind of at the same point as Katie. I have been binge drinking (about a bottle of vodka a day) for the past 6 days. I don't want to drink anymore, but the withdrawals are scary! If it has only been 6 days could I detox off of it on my own?

Katie09

Thanks, nickishine. I have an hour and a half before I am supposed to be there. I hate to walk in there like this all twitchy. But I know I have to go, and I will probably just take a cab, but it's really not cool to do so when I am all shaky. I called the AA office and got a message. I will keep calling them.

nickishine

You hang in there, Katie! Remember, you're "brain" is going to tell you all kinds of stuff in the next hour +,.... Don't listen to it! Stick to your plan! It is a GOOD one!

Lots of love and hugs to you Katie Bear! My new nickname for you, K? Ya like it?

:ghug2

Toomutch

Katie, It may be hard to walk in there all twitchy and shaky, but this is the condition your doctor needs to see you in. This way he/she will be able to have a better understanding of the magnitude of your addiction.

least

Yes, please go to the doctor appt. Can you get someone to take you? Even if you can't shower first, just go. The doc will know how bad off you are to see you as you're really feeling right now. Please go.

:ghug3

SeaHorse

I hope you at least get a medical detox...and then get a sponsor in aa and go to aa meetings. And find a sponsor that works for you..It took me awhile to find one...make sure they have at LEAST a year sobriety, work the steps as laid out in big book, and they themselves have a sponsor..just saying what is working for me now..i don't have much sobriety this time...just 70 days...sharing my experience strength and hope of what works for me..you have been given the 'gift of desperation'...that is the only way some of us seek help and get serious.

Katie09

Thanks all, but it ain't going to happen today. I was talking to my GF whose husband has an aggressive cancer (they found out this a.m.) It's really a scary thing and they have to see if it's spread. She is having her own job issue at the same time. So...I have to figure something else out. I did reschedule for tomorrow. So now all I have to do is to get through today until tomorrow.

Eclipse

You really need to see the doctor, but if that isn't going to happen until tomorrow, you need to go take a nice hot shower or bath and breathe and drink lots of water and breathe and eat and breathe. Nice deep breaths that can help to calm you down.