firestorm090

Well, we sure have developed a fondness for labels, lol. I'm sure I'm probably a walking list of clinical ailments, when to me I'm just another drunk who is afraid to face the cold without a stiff drink. My dogs and cats suffer from innumerable ailments, I mean, you should hear them at dinner time, lol. It's like a friggin' bitch session, "Where's my dinner, why are you sooo slow, do you have brain cramps, lol?" Well, they sure quiet down after a good meal, it's kinda like an anti-depressant of sorts.

Like the others have mentioned, your relationship troubles with your wife need to be set aside for the time being, so you can focus on taking care of yourself and your family. Staying sober is of utmost importance now, cause you need to be able to think clearly and sort out what the real needs are at this time. Back to the basics.

Keep posting and we'll help as much as possible. You've got friends here.

problemchild

Thanks Firestorm, but i have not been able to talk to her so how can i put what she has told me on hold ????

problemchild

I am soooooooooooooo confused

stone

I would not try to understand things right now John, just do what is in front of you...this means looking after yourself and making sure your wife is OK, whether she wants to split up or not I am sure you are still very worried about her. I know this must be very hard to cope with.

firestorm090

Not knowing what the final outcome will be is extremely tough for anyone. It's like being in the waiting room of a hospital, wondering if a loved one will survive or pass on. Relationships are like that too, we hate "not-knowing", we want answers and we want them now, by God. We want to know if our loved ones still love us, and it's damn painful when we don't know. We want to know the score, so we will know what to do, but, at times like these, we simply have to wait. There's no way around it. Even if she said she loves you and wants to stay together, while drunk or on pills, that would most likely change when she sobers up. And yes, it is confusing, it just makes us want to pull our hair out, (not me though, for I don't have much left, lol). In classical literature, this would be a real test of the love between both of you, to determine if the "undying love can whither the hardest obstacles", so to speak. In today's terms, you still have a chance, regardless of todays events, if there is still the flame down deep inside both of you. It's that flame that needs to be stroked, after you are both sober and on the recovery path. Only then can you tell if it is real. Only then will you know what to do.

Tommyh

John,is there anything good you can do for your wife today or about her situation today?
If so,do it
Some things we are powerless over and some things we are not
you can`t change the fact she is where she is and in the shape she is in,you cannot change the fact you two are split up at this moment,so,what can you do?

Drink or stay sober.
if you drink,you may end up in that joint with her.

If you stay sober,at least one of you are on the outside.
She is going to need someone sober when she gets out.How about you,John?

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference.

that prayer has helped me a lot,especially when I first got sober.
A lot of things I just had to accept and learn to live with them as best I could.
One of those things was the fact a drink will not help the situations we get into.