Toomutch

I am so ashamed of the way I am feeling. I have come across numerous friends on face book and many have suggested girls night out, I really want to go with them, but what if I am tempted to drink. I am having more cravings lately in the evening and when I take my bubble baths, feeling very uncomfortable.
I'm not sure if any of this has to do with a special milestone coming up. Or just the fact that I am wanting a fun social life. I try to picture myself out with the girls and at times I feel like I would have a really nice time just drinking soda water with lime, but am I just kidding myself?

Toomutch

Typically I would agree with you... For some reason I am feeling extra vulnerable right now.

Music man

I have been avoiding activities too, but unless I want to live under a rock for the rest of my life I have to start doing them again and doing them SOBER!
I know what I want and I want sobriety, because I suck when I'm drunk.
So I am going to start doing normal activities and if I feel the pressure to drink from myself or anyone I will just leave the situation.

Anna

If there is any question at all about how you feel, I would say, stay home.

You can socialize when you feel stronger.

Mariposa18

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I completely understand the need for a GNO then worrying if I can actually handle it. However, I see you said you feel ashamed of how you are feeling and Sweetie there is no reason to be ashamed of anything!

You are feeling vulnerable right now and IMO maybe a GNO would add to that anxiety. How about hanging out with a few very close Friends but at somebody's house, something more low key? You would still get to spend time with Friends without being in an environment you can't control, kwim?

Thinking of you and Praying that you feel better soon~:praying

LaDita

I agree that if you're feeling vulnerable then don't go. I know how you feel with missing out on a social life, but eventually you will be strong enough to spend time with your girlfriends but maybe it's just not in the cards right now.
As some have recommended to me: maybe it's best to stay away from facebook as there are just too many temptations on there (I know it has been that way for me on there), and maybe find another group of friends who are sober and/or share your same -sober- interests?

ViciousCycle

I was supposed to go to a girl's night out this past friday. I did not go. It's not even that I thought I would drink......I chose not to sit in a room and watch all the others get tipsy........that did not sound like fun to me. I will do a gals night out when they go to a movie or a museum or something......
If you are feeling vulnerable, don't do it hon. Wait for something more productive.
Just my thought.....

Philly

Hi Toomuch,

For me I think it is going to depend on where we are going. I am going to a surprise 40th on Friday. These people were my drinking buddies. They own a bar but the party is at a comedy club. I am going to test the waters. I will not drink I just don't know how uncomfortable I am going to feel. I too do not want to crawl under a rock and the truth is most of the events/ get-togethers/ vacations etc people are going to be drinking. I am also going to Vegas in a few months. I have the mind set that I will handle it and if I am too uncomfortable I will know not to do it again. Maybe if you go you would be surprised that others don't drink either. Just think of the poison you will not be putting into your body. Decisions drive us crazy. Good luck

SummerSkye

Is there any way you could organise another night out with the girls that wouldn't involve alcohol? Maybe the pictures or a meal or even a girlie pampering night, maybe see if you can get some beauticians to come to the house and do treatments or a clothes swap night? I know you haven't been feeling too well recently and it sounds like you could do with some fun and a lot of pampering! You are probably feeling a bit vulnerable as well due to ill health so anything that can make you feel good would be a help. Girlie nights out are great fun but not always if everybody around you is drinking and you are sober so I think be very very careful with that right now

Toomutch

SummerSkye - A pampering night would be a lot of fun... I would worry that the others wouldn't like the idea, especially when they showed up and there was no wine or martinis. My self esteem must be low because I am under the impression that I am only fun when I drink. Where is all of this coming from?

mle-sober

TooMuch,

1) There is absolutely no reason to feel ashamed of your feelings. In fact, there's good reason to be proud. You are recognizing your vulnerability and protecting yourself. No one else can do that for you. And it's a key ingrediant in my sobriety. So, I say - more power to you. Feelings of vulnerability come and go with different things in our life. Respecting that will help keep you sober.

2) If you did go, and you relapsed, you would reasonably ask yourself, "What happened before my relapse? Were there any signs?" And you might be kicking yourself for NOT paying attention to the feelings of vulnerability.

3) And then lastly, I wonder what those feelings are about? Like I said, for me, paying attention and respecting my feelings is a huge part of staying sober.

shaun00

toomuch........thanks for sharing that with us..

I like what mle said...what are those feeling about

Why are you feeling vunerable at the moment and what has set it off....

Someone said to me once when he came close to a aa birthday he felt he would start projecting towards that birthday and losing the "keep it in the day"

Once he started to lose that in the day element...things would start to come up...craving...feeling of vunerability..discontented.

I dont know if thats you........just putting it foward..

But i would suggest...strongly suggest that if you feel vunerable.......DONT go any where near drink or drinkers.....till you feel better.

It just aint worth it....for a night out with the girls.

see if you can put your finger on why you feel like this....

Is it something your doing.....or something your not doing.

God be with you........trucker

SummerSkye

I know try to arrange it as a health and beauty night, we all know that alcohol just ruuuuuuuuuuins the skin lol! Make smoothies and exotic fruit juices, loads of yummy food, acres of chocolate (essential for good health) and see if you can get a therapist to do massages etc. I think if you make it a totally healthy and fun night you can get away with saying no alcohol as it just does not fit in with the theme! Hell I'm going to organise one myself now so if your friends don't want to go for it jump on a plane and we will have one! I do think you should be treating yourself really kindly just now you've had a bit of a rough time recently and you will be feeling a bit low. Hopefully once you have recouperated from your illnesses you will start to feel a lot better. It very hard to feel positive and up when your health isn't at its best

Toomutch

I guess I am not certain as to why I feel vulnerable right now. I will have to think about why that is. Drinking is seeming so alluring right now - and it's just not like me.

Mariposa18

Suz~ I noticed tomorrow you'll have a year...do you think that is somehow triggering something? You also mentioned feeling uncomfortable during your bubble baths. Is it that you are getting a weird feeling while doing that activity? Feel free to PM me if you don't want to answer that here or not answer at all if you don't feel comfy! I'm asking because I sometimes get the weirdest feeling that comes out of nowhere. But the only way I can try to describe it is shame, guilt, like I did something wrong.

yeahgr8

I went to a leaving do tonight, the only person not drinking, was easy as i feel strong but i can totally see how easy a slip could happen, im not going to make it a weekly event but it was a lot of fun and im proud of myself! But...lions den and all that!

The worst part is that it was champagne bottles opened and glasses filled and then left as people go off and get another, at one point i had 2 half bottles and 4 full glasses in front of me, and my diet coke lol

mle-sober

Just out of curiosity, what's a "leaving do?"

rubygurl292

I have trouble thinking of non-alcohol related activities. I constantly get what I call a "case of the Fridays" ....sometime after 12 on Fridays the need to drink begins to take over. And even funnier to me is that I did quit for 2.5 months during the fall last year when my husband was deployed and I cant remember for the life of me what I did all those friday and saturday nights! I do remember never being miserable....why is it so hard to imagine doing this time?

Toomutch

Mariposa - I'm not clear on what you mean by getting a weird feeling while I'm taking my bubble bath. While I was drinking whenever I took a bath (which I do pretty much daily) I would drink wine and read. The strange thing is that I havn't had the desire to drink in my bath for months now... Why all of a sudden am I having a problem with it?

gerryP

Hi Toomuch,

When I was coming up to my one year anniversary/medallion, I too felt uncomfortable and I couldn't understand why, wasn't I supposed to be over the moon?! It was explained to me like this ~It's PMS = Pre medallion syndrome. Apparently the feelings of uneasiness are very common. The feelings on that disappeared on the day I hit one year!

Enjoy tomorrow!