Feeling Uncomfortable
Suzette, if you weren't concerned about going out and being around alcohol, it's THEN that I would think you should be concerned. I think being cautious shows that you are very aware of what a slippery place is for you.
When I first started reading this thread, I looked up on the wall to the left of my desk where my calendar hangs and I noticed that tomorrow is your one year! Yeph, it's on there! I honestly think this has more to do with it than you realize. For me, when I get close to another Milestone in my Recovery, I get to feeling really weird. It's not that I have been thinking about using, I think it's my disease, which will always be there in my mind, patiently waiting, trying very hard to push the start button on the old tapes. Those tapes that tell me that I am a failure and who am I trying to kid, I'm not going to make it to (insert milestone here) I will end up blowing it, just like I have screwed up everything else that was good in my life. I know it's not about the length of time, but it sure feels good when we can celebrate a milestone in our Recovery. You have worked so hard on yourself, it's not been a walk in the park either, but you will have, in a matter of 4 1/2 hours, one year! I would love to be able to see your face and hear the gratitude in your voice when you can say "I have been Clean and Sober for one year now!"
As far as worrying about if the girls will like the pampering party, they do know that you don't drink anymore, don't they? Why not throw yourself a celebration party of your first year in living a happy, healthy, joyous and free lifestyle! I know how to use mapquest, I'd love to come!
Big Hugs,
Judy
When I first started reading this thread, I looked up on the wall to the left of my desk where my calendar hangs and I noticed that tomorrow is your one year! Yeph, it's on there! I honestly think this has more to do with it than you realize. For me, when I get close to another Milestone in my Recovery, I get to feeling really weird. It's not that I have been thinking about using, I think it's my disease, which will always be there in my mind, patiently waiting, trying very hard to push the start button on the old tapes. Those tapes that tell me that I am a failure and who am I trying to kid, I'm not going to make it to (insert milestone here) I will end up blowing it, just like I have screwed up everything else that was good in my life. I know it's not about the length of time, but it sure feels good when we can celebrate a milestone in our Recovery. You have worked so hard on yourself, it's not been a walk in the park either, but you will have, in a matter of 4 1/2 hours, one year! I would love to be able to see your face and hear the gratitude in your voice when you can say "I have been Clean and Sober for one year now!"
As far as worrying about if the girls will like the pampering party, they do know that you don't drink anymore, don't they? Why not throw yourself a celebration party of your first year in living a happy, healthy, joyous and free lifestyle! I know how to use mapquest, I'd love to come!
Big Hugs,
Judy
Serenity, I always love your posts... They make me feel better about myself. Just knowing that you have my sober date on your calender makes me feel special. Thanks, I needed that.
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Toomutch,
You can do this, girl! What would be the worst case scenario would be to give-in and have a drink! That would ruin your entire night and every thing that you've worked so hard for!
If you're not ready to go out, don't! Maybe have a "sober" friend go with you for support if ya do?....
I know you've been going through alot lately!!! Maybe it'd be too much pressure right now?.... I don't know, S. You're in my prayers though! xoxox
:praying
You can do this, girl! What would be the worst case scenario would be to give-in and have a drink! That would ruin your entire night and every thing that you've worked so hard for!
If you're not ready to go out, don't! Maybe have a "sober" friend go with you for support if ya do?....
I know you've been going through alot lately!!! Maybe it'd be too much pressure right now?.... I don't know, S. You're in my prayers though! xoxox
:praying
Suz~ I misunderstood. I didn't realize it was making you uncomfortable because you used to have a glass of wine and read while doing it. I thought you meant something different. Sorry about that!
ETA: When I read your post about feeling uncomfortable it made me think of a feeling I get sometimes. I think I projected that onto your post and situation, without realizing it. I apologize =)
ETA: When I read your post about feeling uncomfortable it made me think of a feeling I get sometimes. I think I projected that onto your post and situation, without realizing it. I apologize =)
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