When I first read your post, I thought of this as the main point of your post. It's interesting to see how others have responded - isn't language a difficult tool? :)

Frankie Boyle is a Scottish comedian, and an openly tee-total alcoholic. He has a story of performing a gig where, during a break, a man from the audience offered to buy him a pint. He told the man thanks, but no thanks, because he was an alcoholic and didn't drink any more. The man thought for a moment, and finally said, "A lager shandy then?"

No matter how much at peace one feels with the concept of alcohol addiction for oneself, in everyday life it is not possible to avoid the poorly informed, negative, judgemental and condemning views of alcoholism in other people. To feel confident that those people are the ones "in the wrong" is perhaps a healthy view for one's own well-being, but it seems to me that each side condemning the other is a poor way to progress. Rather, to challenge is to highlight the existence of the problem and to find effective ways of informing, educating and ultimately changing the broader view.

I know a lot of that is work already under way, yet despite the fact that the American Medical Association and the British Medical Association have indeed defined alcoholism as a disease, there remains a very poor attitude towards those in need of help for their alcoholism even within the medical community. This can't be described simply as "their problem not mine," but is in fact a challenge that requires facing and effectively dealing with as a matter of some urgency.

Ultimately, I agree with the quote I gave from Iriss: broadly speaking, society has a lot of work to do on the issue of alcoholism. Since we're all in the society, that means we all have a lot of work to do.

Thanks so much, this really helps...

LOL at the Frankie Boyle story, didnt realise he is an alkie but it explains a lot!!

Totally agree Iriss.
In my view--it is a much stickier situation. In a lot of ways, I think marketing, and advertising has a lot to do with it.
Most alcohol advertisements involve a lot of beautiful, scantily clad, apparently successful people doing things that a lot of us would love to do. By all (advertising) accounts, people drinking is damn fun! And attractive! And scantily clad!
Of course--we alcoholics see the forest for the trees. Even if that beach party with super models happened to me: I'd be too drunk to see anything but where the next drink was coming from. Bikini? Where?
The tagline at the end of all of it is telling: "Please enjoy _____ responsibly".
Well. A lot of people can do that. A lot of people cannot do that. I am one of them.
I think a lot of society's perception of alcoholism is the homeless fellow, or the person they read about in the Times with their 10th DUI. It doesn't occur to them that a recovering alcoholic could be their child's teacher. The police officer that protects them, or even a clergy member.
I just think overall we're taught from an early age that alcohol is a lot of fun--and people with problems with it are sleeping on park benches.
Just my opinions. Thanks for letting me share.

:laughing: Most AA members I know are big time
talkers and people of action.

I love to share about how I have
become a recovered alcoholic.

It's my purpose to assist others with their alcoholism
and I can only do that from personal experience.

As someone else mentioned....I am comfortable knowing
I'm an alcoholic...no more remorse or gilt carried around.
:no:....That was over with Steps 4 & 5....:)

I have never said AA was the only way...it's simply my way
I certainly hope you find yours Iris..:yup:.

[QUOTE=CarolD;2121551]:laughing:
It's my purpose to assist others with their alcoholism
and I can only do that from personal experience.


I hope one day I can do that too, and thanks.

This thread really has made me think , there are so many different ways to view it and so much in it....thank you for that Iriss
I find I am doing a little inventory on myself.....which is always good.

I think things are changing slowly here in Ireland. I mingle at parties and in society regularly, as does my husband. We were at a gig on Saturday night and we didn't feel frowned upon. I would think anyone that would frown would probably have a problem with alcohol themselves. We were at a wedding recently and the company we were in did not even notice we were not drinking, we danced, laughed and had a great day

bovinebear quote
. Towards the end of the evening someone who was buying drinks said "who is the soda for" it was only then he noticed. We then got a few comments like " good for you" because when it came to their attention we were not drinking they also noticed it was possible to have fun without alcohol. I suppose we can all do our bit by the way we live. . I was told in early recovery if you are boring and glum or fed up remove yourself from the party .....don't spoil the party on other people. For me, its all down to my recovery and how I am dealing with my day to day issues. If I need a drink to be happy or to mingle then there is more work to be done. This is where the 12 steps and AA come into play for me. Putting down the drink was only a start for me. mixing with people and finding happiness, peace and contentment within ....(regardless what people thought) were the real rewards. I really believe in attraction rather than promotion becausee I have had many people attracted to the way I live today without alcohol and have asked me to share with them how I do it.

Well I am a new comer... I want to stop drinking, without AA... Is it possible? As I feel I have to do it by myself...

Iriss have you stopped drinking at the end?

Hi Nelco,

love your notes! Thank you!

[QUOTE=nelco;2121586]
I think things are changing slowly here in Ireland. I mingle at parties and in society regularly, as does my husband. We were at a gig on Saturday night and we didn't feel frowned upon. I would think anyone that would frown would probably have a problem with alcohol themselves. We were at a wedding recently and the company we were in did not even notice we were not drinking, we danced, laughed and had a great day

Thanks Nelco, I too went to a dinner party on saturday and I was the only one not drinking, I found I had a great time, and I didnt think much about me not drinking, but I know I have yet to go the gatherings when people will be asking why Im not drinking... Thanks so much for your considerate replies x

I too am a newcomer and have not much sobriety behind me, but I know AA is not for me. However, this is a great forum which supports all and everyone who wishes to get sober xgood luck and keep posting x

Thanks Nucsa,
welcome and stick around....:c009:
I am sure you will find lots of support here, glad you found Isiss.
There is lots of support here. We all find our own paths but we can all support each other on the journey.

I am back - my computer has been silly and failed on me theese pass days! Thanks for the replies! It 4 days now... I am fine and I noticed that it has been not dificult...
What actually determinates a drinking problem? How did you realise that it has become a problem?

Hi Nusca, so glad you got four days, for me I need not be told I have a drinking problem, I just know... Maybe you should start a thread and ask that question, you will recieve so many replies, especially from some of the long term users of SR. x Take care

Iriss thanks for quick reply. But as I am new I hardly dare to start a new thread... Its just that I think it is dificult to determinate something like that. I think if I would not consider having a problem I would have not taken interest in SR... so there must be something...

Tonight I even have been at the bar we go after finishing work to have a couple of beers and drank coke. I did not find it too hard not to drink beer... I think it is more dificult in the long run... We will see!

As suggested by Carol I am reading " Under The Influence" to try to answer the Am I an alcoholic? question. On the other hand I KNOW I have a drinking problem and the only way I cam solve it is not to take a first drink. I know I have this problem because my wife told me I do and she wouldn't lie to me. :)

Wow you really love your wife that is great! Do not loose her!