mamabin

I feel like playing with my demon today. We're invited to dinner at my in-laws (who drink all day), they also invited my sister-in-law who is (was?) a drinking buddy. I almost didn't post this, because I almost don't want to be talked out of it. This really stinks.

Theresa

Good for you for catching your inner thoughts on this, Mamabin: I've used family gatherings as an excuse to drink for years. It is still drinking, isn't it?

mamabin

Yeah. They have my favorite beer over there. And none of them would try to talk me out of it.

bugsworth

How about declining the invitation?

Theresa

I find they even "encourage" it (my drinking), which allows me to put part of the responsibility on them (pretty sneaky on my part). Seriously, though, there are times when I am feeling weak and can't be around others that are drinking, especially when they are family. That's why I think it is cool that you are already aware of these feelings--playing with a demon that we can not win against-- before meeting with them. You can make a plan that will allow YOU to win.

Julesy

I have been in such a situation and I made a rock solid commitment to myself to stay sober. I took my own non-alcohol drinks and stuck to it. They weren't that comfortable with my decision, but I told myself "who's life am I living?'. It gets easier.
Stick to your guns. You can do it.

Toomutch

I have to agree with Bugsworth! Seriously consider declining the invitation while your vulnerable to the demon.

December15

Being in a social situation where everyone is drinking, apart from yourself, it becomes easy to see yourself as the one with the big problem. Truth often is that those around you are the one with the unconfronted problem - take pride in not drinking.

bovinePieBear

I can't weigh in with any words of wisdom like the others have! I just want to say I hope you do the right thing for you, which has to be whatever it takes not to drink.

mamabin

My husband already left. I'm sitting here in my pajamas feeling sorry for myself. Just one of "those" days I guess. I have that "just a couple would take the edge off feeling". I feel like taking some Excedrin PM and going back to bed. Wednesday will be 30 days for me. I'll be so mad at myself if I have to start over tomorrow. I can't promise myself I won't drink today.
See??? My demon's doing some of the talking today. I'm trying not to listen. I'm one of those who didn't drink every day, working nights saves me from that. But I could easily drink a twelve pack on a Sunday. Always between 8 and 13 on a Saturday, and then again on a Sunday. But I could be laughing and playing pool today instead of sitting here crying. And the beer is free. Did I mention that they live next door??? At least the dinner isn't tempting me, I don't eat pigs. But I know she went out of her way to cook extra veggies for me.

Gypsy Feet

Here's the thing with MY drinking family. Most if not all of them would like to see me fail. Not because they enjoy me failing, but because they were much more comfortable when I was drinking. Although they are not bad people, the very fact that they want me to fail makes me that less likely to do it in front of them. The thought of them saying to each other after I left "well, we knew that wouldn't last" is all the incentive I need. If you chose not to drink it will be a better decision in my opinion.

least

Don't drink. The shame and regret aren't worth it. If it takes not going, then stay home and be safe. YOu said you 'almost' didn't want to be talked out of it, but there's that 'almost'. YOu don't want to drink, not really, so just say no. YOu can do it!:ghug3

mamabin

I wasn't going to mention that I have my non alcoholic beer for today. I found it too controversial to bring up here. It doesn't bring me back to drinking, and no, I don't start over from day one. It takes the edge off, and I don't believe it's the alcohol content. It's psychological. I was ok with the plan till I found out my sister-in-law is there. I miss her. She's the crazy black sheep of the family. I did have a plan, it's just not turning out like I had planned. Maybe this will pass and I'll make an appearance. I think my husband would stop me, but he's never been one to tell me what to do. He hates the drinking, especially when I get together with his sister and we get obnoxious.

yeahgr8

I don't think you should go, but if you must make it short and make sure they know you are dead set on quitting IMO.

You hear all these stories of alcoholics being disowned by their family and friends, well i have done it the other way, disowned a lot of drinking friends in ways that can never be undone (details maybe later post!) and told my family to leave me alone and only contact me if there is an issue or emergency where of course i would help. Last thing i need is a room full of enablers telling me not to be silly and just have one, y'know, 'one won't hurt', 'you're not an alcoholic, alcoholics drink all day everyday from morning till night', 'oh your xxxxxxx went through a stage like this, all men do', 'everything in moderation' etc.

I am still best friends with my exgf and we might get back together at the end of this year, once i have one sober year behind me, spent last xmas with her family who really like/love me, one person offered me a beer by mistake and it was snatched away by a couple of people who scolded the person (he didn't do it out of malice) and then apologised for snatching the beer away and did not want to embarass me. Thats the sort of people i want in my life, what do you know you can choose your family after all;-)

be very careful my friend and good luck whatever you chose:-)

Iriss

Hey as you said, its not you that wants to drink its your demon.. Its not "I want a drink" rather than its wants a drink.. You can defeat that demon, and you will feel so good doing it...

mamabin

Thank you all, I really appreciate it. REALLY APPRECIATE IT. Maybe I'll get in the shower and face the music. I'm going to have to sometime. These days are going to happen, there's no way around it. At least if I feel like I don't have control, I can just walk back home.

jdaisymae

Don't go if they won't support you.It's not worth the guilt you will feel if you slip up. Good luck!!!

shaun00

I feel very sad you feel some things are "to" controversial to bring up....

i for one fully except we all have different........takes..

i dont drink na beer but i enjoy listening to YOUR opinion and except you are you...

Im sorry..you are having a hard time.....

Its common to have strrong thoughts of a drink in the begining.

Try to remember your last drink......how you felt.....and how desperate you were to stop...try to get in touch with that feeling of being trapped and lost.

And maybe ask god to remove your compultion to drink........it works for me.

maybe some of that will help...god bless........trucker

Fubarcdn

If you have to go just go for the eating part and leave. You know you don't want to drink so you can do it.

colagirl

I had a similar situation a couple of months ago, but with a holiday work party. I knew it would be rough, so I brought a diet Dr. Pepper and an excuse with me (my cat was at the vet, I was waiting to hear when I could go get her). That way I had an excuse not to drink, plus an excuse to leave quickly if I needed to. They looked at me a little weird, but after that I don't think anybody noticed.

I can see the demon talking to you too - I know how I am when it gets like that with me and it would be hard to put myself in front of alcohol and not drink it at that point.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes! :ghug3