demon
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by mamabin 
Thank you all, I really appreciate it. REALLY APPRECIATE IT. Maybe I'll get in the shower and face the music. I'm going to have to sometime. These days are going to happen, there's no way around it. At least if I feel like I don't have control, I can just walk back home.
Just my experience, I sail-racing, actually-with a group of fellas that I used to drink with, fortunately my sobriety date is in November and racing season doesn't start until May so I had some time under my belt before I was exposed to the drinking again. Yeah, those days will happen but they are easier to deal with after the alcohol has left your system and your brain isn't so foggy, say, at least six months down the road or so.
All this being said, when I do race with these guys I generally don't hang out very long after the races, when the real drinking starts. Advice given to me on many occasions, stay away from wet people/places. Good luck.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
A member tried this..printed the thread and put it in her purse..or pocket.
And when the going got a little rough..they just "touched" the paper.
Or maybe dashed into the restroom and read the whole thing..I can't recall lol
But it worked for them.
A point of contact.
For me..I could not..absolutley not be around alcohol in early sobriety.
But that was me.
Like Dee said..Good Luck!
And when the going got a little rough..they just "touched" the paper.
Or maybe dashed into the restroom and read the whole thing..I can't recall lol
But it worked for them.
A point of contact.
For me..I could not..absolutley not be around alcohol in early sobriety.
But that was me.
Like Dee said..Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hi mambin,
This sure is a very difficult situation and one that I don't envy you with. Family gatherings are one of the slipperiest slopes for those of us trying to change our lives and find different ways of coping with our reality than the failed methods of escape through alcohol and drugs. However we try to rationalize today, it is still our choice. Our minds will try to find any excuse to drink, and I doubt that will go away anytime soon. I have abused alcohol all of my life, and that's the distinction I need to remember each day. I don't just drink, I abuse alcohol, by drinking all that I can each time, without passing out. The days of a couple of beers waved bye-bye to me long ago. I now drink to drown out the shame I feel for being a drunk, and for all of the wasted days and wasted nights that have been my legacy for so long. That's why, for today, I can't even be near a drink.
Change is hard, especially personal change. We have to truly get real with ourselves and determine how much change we want, then get busy making that change happen in our lives, regardless of those who are uncomfortable with our decision. If we don't do it for ourselves, then it won't be done, and others, who are comfortable with the way things are, will relax and slip back into the well-worn ruts of the familiar. Change scares people, which is one of the reasons that we put it off till we must face it. Some will face it and live different lives, while others can still be found on the same bar stools years from now, because they refused to change. An old friend of mine explained change as if we are climbing a pyramid, as we progress up the pyramid, there is room for fewer people, so only those who really want to keep climbing will make it to the top, while most others will stop along the way. That's why, when you reach the top, you are among a very select few who chose to continue the climb, against all odds.
Sorry to ramble here, it's just such a tough subject, because this old drunk has tried a couple of beers so many times, only to end up drunk at the bottom of the pyramid once again.
Hope youu make the right choice for you.
This sure is a very difficult situation and one that I don't envy you with. Family gatherings are one of the slipperiest slopes for those of us trying to change our lives and find different ways of coping with our reality than the failed methods of escape through alcohol and drugs. However we try to rationalize today, it is still our choice. Our minds will try to find any excuse to drink, and I doubt that will go away anytime soon. I have abused alcohol all of my life, and that's the distinction I need to remember each day. I don't just drink, I abuse alcohol, by drinking all that I can each time, without passing out. The days of a couple of beers waved bye-bye to me long ago. I now drink to drown out the shame I feel for being a drunk, and for all of the wasted days and wasted nights that have been my legacy for so long. That's why, for today, I can't even be near a drink.
Change is hard, especially personal change. We have to truly get real with ourselves and determine how much change we want, then get busy making that change happen in our lives, regardless of those who are uncomfortable with our decision. If we don't do it for ourselves, then it won't be done, and others, who are comfortable with the way things are, will relax and slip back into the well-worn ruts of the familiar. Change scares people, which is one of the reasons that we put it off till we must face it. Some will face it and live different lives, while others can still be found on the same bar stools years from now, because they refused to change. An old friend of mine explained change as if we are climbing a pyramid, as we progress up the pyramid, there is room for fewer people, so only those who really want to keep climbing will make it to the top, while most others will stop along the way. That's why, when you reach the top, you are among a very select few who chose to continue the climb, against all odds.
Sorry to ramble here, it's just such a tough subject, because this old drunk has tried a couple of beers so many times, only to end up drunk at the bottom of the pyramid once again.
Hope youu make the right choice for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by yeahgr8
So sailorjohn one might even go as far to say that you leave these occasions, once the heavy drinking starts, as you would feel like a fish out of water?
Queue silence and tumbleweed!
Queue silence and tumbleweed!
It did become an 'issue' last season, with several of the crew making comments on my not drinking. I just kept my mouth shut, basically. And when we get back to the dock, I help finish tidying up the boat and leave several minutes afterwards. There is no good reason to hang out while they get hammered.
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